More Signs

Presenting another batch of alternative "inspirational" photo/posters that better sum up the experience of working at a Morrisons supermarket, than the far more flattering ones displayed in the staff areas where I work manage to do.

Signs

This post is really for those who read this blog and like me have to suffer the daily grind of working at a Morrisons supermarket. One of the many things that frankly annoys me about my workplace is the series of framed pictures on the walls of the staff area, each with a slogan like Achievement or Teamwork etc. I've always found them to be somewhat condescending. So here are a bunch of signs that I feel better sum up the experience of working for Morrisons. Enjoy!

Run To You

This is a fairly unusual song (to my mind anyway) as the lyrics pretty much celebrate adultery, or at least infidelity. As someone who has never really had a partner and thus would cherish a woman in my life, the actual meaning of the song is pretty repellant to me. Still, morals aside, the song has a kicking rythmn and is one of my favourite of Bryan Adams many tunes. I try not to let a songs message get in the way of me enjoying the tune where possible.

Run To You by Bryan Adams

She says her love for me could never die
But that'd change if she ever found out about you and I
Oh - but her love is cold
It wouldn't hurt her if she didn't know, 'cause...
When it gets too much
I need to feel your touch

I'm gonna run to you
I'm gonna run to you
Cause when the feelin's right I'm gonna run all night
I'm gonna run to you

She's got a heart of gold she'd never let me down
But you're the one that always turns me on
You keep me comin' 'round
I know her love is true
But it's so damn easy makin' love to you
I got my mind made up
I need to feel your touch

I'm gonna run to you
I'm gonna run to you
Cause when the feelin's right I'm gonna run all night
I'm gonna run to you

I'm gonna run to you
I'm gonna run to you
Cause when the feelin's right I'm gonna run all night
I'm gonna run to you

Happy Birthday To Me

Or at least it would be if I were writing this up a couple hours from now having just woken up. No such luck. I woke up an hour ago and have been completely unable to get back to sleep since. So I'm sat here in my dressing gown making the best of a bad thing by writing this, in the hope that staring at my keyboard and computer screen will make me tired enough to be able to grab that couple more hours of kip.

I turn 31 today, officially at about 4:10pm I'm told. Whereas last year I had a quiet day at home and a meal in the evening with my parents, brother and best friends, this year I have a considerably more packed day ahead. I say I, but I should really be saying We, as for the past few years, I have shared my birthdays actitivites with my housemate & best friend Tony Searle, as today is also his birthday (he turns 32 today).

This morning I have promised to spend a couple hours roleplaying in MSN with my good friend Cheryl Fredericks, who lives in New Zealand. I've been talking and roleplaying with her online for something like two and a half years now give or take. I left the last roleplay session we did on a bit of a cliffhanger and she's been nagging me (nicely though) to put her out of her misery and resolve it, so 8:00am-10:00am today are set aside for that.

At 11:00-11:30am Tony and I will be taking his motorbike down to the Riverside Park on the outskirts of the town and heading to the Pizza Hut there for lunch. Yesterday after mentioning our plans for the day to a couple friends in the Bakery dept where I work, I invited them along, so we might well meet up with our friends Richard Adams, James Whitfield and Dan Shapter (who I asked Richard to pass the message along too). Which would be great, though if it is just the pair of us, well that's good too.

After lunch we will be heading to the Odeon cinema a short distance away and there watching the 1:10pm showing of Night At The Museum, followed by the 4:00pm showing of Employee Of The Month. Tony did want to see Eragon (which I've already seen but would happily have sat through another showing of), but it turns out that the Odeon stopped showing it as of last Friday, so we are going with a complete comedy line up today. Very much looking forward to seeing both those films, especially Employee as it is a comedy set in a supermarket, which is where I work afterall.

Employee should finish at around about 6:00pm, so from there we'll likely trek to the McDonalds Drive Thru for dinner. I say trek, but I mean stroll as it's just across the car park from the Odeon. And from there to the Hollywood Bowl (across another car park) and to the bar and arcades inside. I'm keen to have a go on Time Crisis 4 which I've not played before, but I've loved playing all 3Time Crisis games in the series before it. There we will be meeting up with several more members of the Bakery dept, as the Bakery are having our first attempt at a dept social outing. Two games of 10 pin bowling, plus drinks, chat and some healthy competition should be a nice way to round out the day.

I imagine we'll get back here for about 9:30pm where I have the bottle of 50% proof Smirnoff Blue Label vodka in the freezer waiting for me. Enjoyed a glass of that with icecubes and Clementine Juice (it was on Buy One Get One Free in work and I was curious as to what it was like) last night and it was superb. All in all I think I'm going to enjoy myself today.

The Harpy

I only just found this poem, thanks in part to a good friend of mine and a slight case of mistaken identity. See my friend has for some time now gone by the callsign The Harpy on message boards and such, only recently retiring that name. So when one of the moderators on Alter Realm added The Harpy to their tags (along with a line from this poem), many people (including myself) thought that it was my friend and were surprised to see that she had been made a Mod. This prompted her to start a thread on the board to explain that it wasn't her, and the Mod in question posted this poem there, by way of explanation of why they had taken the name.

And now I'm posting it here because it is a good poem and I don't find that many that I like. Hope you like it too.

The Harpy by Robert Service


There was a woman, and she was wise; woefully wise was she;
She was old, so old, yet her years all told were but a score and three;
And she knew by heart, from finish to start, the Book of Iniquity.

There is no hope for such as I on earth, nor yet in Heaven;
Unloved I live, unloved I die, unpitied, unforgiven;
A loathed jade, I ply my trade, unhallowed and unshriven.

I paint my cheeks, for they are white, and cheeks of chalk men hate;
Mine eyes with wine I make them shine, that man may seek and sate;
With overhead a lamp of red I sit me down and wait

Until they come, the nightly scum, with drunken eyes aflame;
Your sweethearts, sons, ye scornful ones -- 'tis I who know their shame.
The gods, ye see, are brutes to me -- and so I play my game.

For life is not the thing we thought, and not the thing we plan;
And Woman in a bitter world must do the best she can --
Must yield the stroke, and bear the yoke, and serve the will of man;

Must serve his need and ever feed the flame of his desire,
Though be she loved for love alone, or be she loved for hire;
For every man since life began is tainted with the mire.

And though you know he love you so and set you on love's throne;
Yet let your eyes but mock his sighs, and let your heart be stone,
Lest you be left (as I was left) attainted and alone.

From love's close kiss to hell's abyss is one sheer flight, I trow,
And wedding ring and bridal bell are will-o'-wisps of woe,
And 'tis not wise to love too well, and this all women know.
Wherefore, the wolf-pack having gorged upon the lamb, their prey,
With siren smile and serpent guile I make the wolf-pack pay --
With velvet paws and flensing claws, a tigress roused to slay.

One who in youth sought truest truth and found a devil's lies;
A symbol of the sin of man, a human sacrifice.
Yet shall I blame on man the shame? Could it be otherwise?

Was I not born to walk in scorn where others walk in pride?
The Maker marred, and, evil-starred, I drift upon His tide;
And He alone shall judge His own, so I His judgment bide.

Fate has written a tragedy; its name is "The Human Heart".
The Theatre is the House of Life, Woman the mummer's part;
The Devil enters the prompter's box and the play is ready to start.

What Kind Of Horror Killer Are You?

Saw this on a message board I frequent and thought it'd be slightly ghoulish fun to have a go at. This is who I came out as...

You scored as Hannibal Lecter. You are Hannibal Lecter. You dont need to eat human flesh to live, but do so because it just taste good. You are very intelligent, and enjoy using it to your advantage to keep people guessing. You arent a killing machine, but when you do decide to let loose, watch out! Dinner is served, with some fava beans, and a nice chianti! Pinhead 45% Hannibal Lecter 45% Michael Myers 45% Captain Spaulding 40% Freddy Krueger 35% Jigsaw 35% Candyman 35% Jason Voorhees 25% Leatherface 25% Buffalo Bill 10% Which Horror Killer are You? created with QuizFarm.com

The Sales Annex

Time again for an excerpt from one of the Gor novels, in this case my favourite book of the series: Dancer of Gor (Book 22 of the saga). This section is from the end of Chapter 8, and the earthgirl slave Doreen is chained for display in the sales annex of a slave auction house, for customers to examine her (and the other girls up for sale) before they are put up for auction that evening:

I sat, waiting, on the long, heavy, wooden platform, raised a foot or so above the dirt floor of the exposition area, it located in the annex to Teibar’s sales barn, he of Market of Semris, a dealer in tarsks, as they said, four-legged and two-legged. The platform was one of several, arranged in orderly rows. The platform I was on was near the center of the room. I sat there, waiting, small, helpless, naked, my feet tucked back, near my left thigh, my ankles crossed, as though they might be held together by a small chain, my left hand on my left ankle, my weight muchly on the palm of my right hand, a chain on my neck, running to its ring in the platform. I do not know how long I had been unconscious. I had awakened here, on the platform, feeling its heavy, sturdy, smooth wooden surface beneath my body. I had also become aware of the chain on my neck. A little later I learned what space and movement it would permit me. I could stand comfortably in it. This was intentional on the part of the masters, being connected with a concept of latitudes suitable for the appropriate display of merchandise. We were a ten-lot originally, it seemed, but as though in anticipation of a projected decision, we had been given different lot numbers. It seems they had not been fully decided, at least at one point, whether to sell us as a unit, a given ten-lot, or to break the ten-lot and sell us individually. They had now decided, it seemed, to sell us individually. I suppose it was a sound commercial decision, given the conditions current in their area. I do not really know. At any rate, they would do what they wanted, the same as with any other sort of merchandise. We were not the only ten-lot now in the room. There were girls, now, on most of the platforms, usually three girls to a platform. These others, I gathered, had been brought in during the day by wagons, or had perhaps been marched over from some other facility. Such things were the concerns of masters, not mine. My head was down. There was a number of my left breast. I was alone. Teibar, my master, who had so easily and imperiously captured me on Earth, and who had brought me here, seeing to it that I was suitably impressed into helpless bondage, had not wanted me. My hopes had been absurd. How naïve I had been. what a fool I had been. I should have known better. I could cry no more.

It was now early in the evening. Somewhat before noon we had been watered, doubtless that we would be freshened and our bellies pleasantly rounded. The men, customers, natives of the locality, agents, dealers and others, were then admitted, to examine us, and, if interested, take notes on our lot numbers. On the platforms, I, and others, had endured the most intimate scrutinies. They had moved about us, circulating here and there, going from one platform to another. They usually did this, it seemed, in a precise pattern, beginning at one point or another, thus making certain that the contents of every platform came within their purview, that they did not miss even one of the displayed wares. We, of course, perforce, must respond to their instructions. We found ourselves often standing, or sitting or kneeling, or moving or assuming attitudes, or pursing our lips, and so on, according to their commands. In these times we were often handled quite objectively, the firmness of our breasts and thighs being tested, and so on. But then animals are often handled on such a basis, slapped on the flanks, and such. Sometimes they would even put us bodily in desired attitudes. They wanted to form some ideas, it seemed, as to our condition and soundness, and what it might be for them, or their clients, to own us. We were even, occasionally, touched intimately. Under such attentions I could not help squirming. This seemed to amuse them. I gathered from some of their remarks, somewhat indelicate remarks, scarcely fit for the ears of an Earth woman, or one who had once been from Earth, that under true male attentions I might prove to be utterly helpless. I found this dubious. I assumed that it was false. I would learn later that it was not. Still I was so distraught, so much numbed, so much in shock, so despondent, so much in despair, so miserable over my rejection by Teibar, that I was not even remotely as responsive as I would normally have been. and this had to do not simply with feelings. Sometimes I was hardly aware of, or caring of, what was being done to me. Sometimes I knelt, and moved, and posed, almost without understanding or thinking about what was being done to me. To these men, I am sure, I must have appeared, though perhaps beautiful, inert. They were now gone. The exposition area was now closed to the public. It was in the early evening. I supposed that we would be watered again, later, that we might again appear fresh, our skin with excellent tone, glistening and smooth, our bellies sweetly rounded. After a large breakfast this morning, we had been fed very lightly, however, only a handful of dry gruel put in our mouths after the closing of the exposition area. To be sure, I supposed it was enough for us. We need far less food than men. It is cheaper to feed us than male slaves. There were other reasons, of course, why we had been fed so lightly today. Tonight they did not want us to be lethargic or sluggish. Too, they did not wish, particularly in the case of new girls, their stomachs turning and wrenching in misery, and terror, to risk disgusting accidents.

"Position!" we heard.

Immediately every girl on every platform assumed position. I looked about, as I could. Every girl that I saw had assumed, as I had, the open-kneed position. It was required of them. I gathered, as it was required of me. They were all attractive. I wondered what sort of slaves we were, that we must kneel in this fashion.

In a few moments we were lined up, according to our separate lots. I at the end of mine, facing not the large, closed double doors which led to the area outside, those doors through which the customers had entered, but the other large, closed double doors, those which, apparently led somewhere else. Gloria was in front of me, as usual. Her hands were manacled behind her back. My hands, too, were identically secured. On her neck, as on mine, was a buckled, two-ringed, leather collar. It was the sort of collar which may be easily put on, and removed from a girl. The girl, of course, if manacled as we were, is helpless in it. The rings are located at 180 degrees from one another. This permits girls to be fastened, the collar oriented appropriately, either side by side, in ranks, or behind one another, in files. A leather strap, with snaps at both ends, joins the rings, usually the ring at the back of one collar to the ring at the front of another. Gloria, being ahead of me, was thus leashed to the ring at the back of the girl’s collar ahead of her, and I was leashed to the ring at the back of Gloria’s collar. As I was at the end of the line, the ring at the back of my collar hung free, against the leather, not utilized.

The double doors before us, were opened.

I could see a long corridor, dimly lit with lamps. It was, like the exposition area, floored with dirt. That made sense, as doubtless tarsks, those of the four-footed variety, those bristly, squat, grunting animals, as opposed to the two-footed variety, those soft, smooth, shapely animals, were often conducted through it.

I looked down the long, dark, dirt-floored corridor.

Our group, it seemed, would be neither the first, nor, given our position, the last to enter that corridor.

I looked down at the writing on my left breast. It was, I had been told, an "89," my lot number.

We had been fed very lightly today.

There was a reason for that. Tonight we were going on the block.

New Years Resolutions 2007

I should really have posted this a few days ago. While I could claim that I wanted to spend a bit longer thinking over what my resolutions for this year were going to be, the truth is I've known for days and have just been too bone idle to type them up. I have also been busy watching the DVD boxset that I bought of Season 1 of The Muppet Show. I finished watching the last of the 24 episodes on the sets 4 discs earlier today. Money very well spent I think. I've laughed more in these past couple days than I did in the whole of last year.

Anyway, moving on... here are my resolutions for 2007:

1. Reduce my debts. I'm going to take another crack at this, as this was a resolution last year as well and I failed spectacularly in regards to it. Still, I have a pretty good idea how to go about clearing a sizeable chunk of what I owe and as I have next week off work, I'm going to get started on that.
2. Take more pride in my appearance. I have been nagged by... well a lot of people actually, including my Mum and my boss at work about this. Not really sure how to go about this, or how it will benefit me as I'm quite happy the way I am, but I'll give it a try. I could ceetainly do with being nagged less.
3. Reduce the amount of possessions I own. I STILL have boxes of comic books, old toys and more under my bed and I want them gone. As I also have a need for money (see resolution 1 above), then selling them off on ebay seems to be the best way to go about this.
4. Try and get proofreading work. I passed the course in Copy Editing and Proofreading last year and as yet have done nothing with that qualification. 2007 is the year I try and get work in the publishing industry as a freelance proofreader.
5. Write my blog more often. This last addition is motivated by the stack of 5 novels sat on my desk awaiting their reviews to be typed up. Also of late I have gone to write posts many times and stopped short of doing so, for fear of offending someone. This is despite the disclaimer at the top of the main page which states clearly "if you don't like what I write, don't read any more of it". I will try not to censor myself as often as I have been doing.

So there we are, 5 resolutions to try and stick too for the coming year. Assuming I manage to do so and to succeed, then my life should improve considerably by this time next year. Wish me luck!