Malta Diary - Day Two (26/7/06)

12:00 noon - Well so much for not touching the minibar, the lure of icy cold water proved too tempting after the morning I've had. I decided to go and see The Red Fort today (otherwise known as St. Agatha's Tower), so I got up early and was downstairs when Les Jardins opened for breakfast... and what a breakfast. Everything you could possibly want to eat for breakfast was there. So I piled my plate with bacon, sausages, poached eggs, beans, cheese and bread and wolfed that lot down, washed down with orange juice and coffee (boy do the Maltese love serving coffee, I lost count of how many times I was offered coffee by a woman with a huge jug of the stuff in hand).

Then with my Rough Guide to Malta in my pocket (which has a very handy map of the Mellieha area in it), I set off walking. I had no idea exactly how far I had walked until I spotted a sign post on my way back. In all this morning I've walked a round trip of about 15km. The trip would normally be about 12km, but I took the scenic route so I could also take in the Ghadira Wetland reserve and the stunning Ras Il-Qammiegh cliffs.

Ghadira Wetland Reserve

The Ras Il-Qammiegh Cliffs

I got to the Red Fort shortly before 10am and was waiting there when the curator turned up to open the place. It is only open 10am-1pm, so going and seeing it when I did is really the only option if you are without a car, as walking up there any later in the day would be madness. The curator as it happens is British, an ex-pat, and she was glad to chat to another Brit, being nice enough to share her supply of very cold bottled water with me, which was much appreciated.

The Red Fort is one of a series of coastal watchtowers that guard the approaches to Malta. In it's case it was built to keep an eye over the strait that seperates the main island from the smaller islands of Comino and Gozo and the view from the roof is stunning. The building is built with many arches and vaulted ceilings as the Knights who built it designed it to withstand cannon fire. In its day it was home to 49 soldiers in wartime. It was also used by the British as a signal tower during World War 2.

The plaque on the wall beside the fort's entrance.

A scale model of The Red Fort.

The same model from another angle. Originally there was a drawbridge at the top of those stairs, though nowadays it is a fixed bridge.

A view from the battlements of The Red Fort, looking across to the north of Malta. You can see the lesser islands of Comino and Gozo in the background, which serves to demonstrate how well placed the tower is!

This is an interior shot of the fort. Note the arched window. All the roofs, windows, corridors inside are arched, the reason being that the Knights who built the tower designed it specifically to withstand cannon fire. The inside is very cleverly laid out, so that any impact on the walls would be minimised by the interior construction. It would be very hard for cannons mounted on raiding ships to do much damage to this fort at all, whilst they would be pounded by the forts cannons!

The trek back was a lot quicker than getting there as I took a shortcut through an area set aside in the 1970's for an Afforestation project. All I can say is that they've got a long way to go if they ever do plan to grow a forest on that hillside, because all that is there right now is scrub brush and a whole lot of cactus. On the seafront I got talking to a very lovely girl selling boat trips, by the name of Charlotte. Another ex-pat (she is half-Maltese and half-Welsh), we talked for a while before I needed to be heading onwards. A shame that the boat trip I was interested in (A night trip to the Blue Lagoon on Comino with a BBQ) was sold out, else I would have bought a ticket.

I did buy a sun hat on the way back up the quite considerable hill to the Antonine. Time for pizza now though and then the pool (the one in the garden as the indoor saltwater one doesn't interest me and neither does the one on the roof). I am writing this sat on my rooms balcony in the shade. Ohh and I found the cyber cafe too, so I'll check that out later on.

1:40pm - Had a very nice lunch at the Al Ponte. Garlic bread for starter, followed by a 3 cheese and ham pizza with a glass each of Diet Pepsi and Kinnie to wash it down. Just got back to my room after finding a good local store that sells big (and painfully cold to hold) bottles of water for just 35 cents. The minibar bottles are a third of the size and 60 cents each by comparison!

The cyber cafe as it turns out is more of a cyber closet in that it is a tiny room with just 2 PC's. I will be making my way to the pool shortly so I will ask at reception about use of the cyber cafe as I presume it will have to be booked in advance. For now though the cool waters of the pool (and the semi-clad young ladies lounging nearby) call to me.

5:25pm - Back from the pool, my enjoyment of which was only spoiled by my goggles strap snapping when I put them on. The rubber of the strap had decayed to breaking point it seems, my own fault for not testing them back home. Still I've had fun by the pool, alternating swimming with rest periods where I would read a novel with a T-shirt on. I made sure to top up my sun lotion from time to time. I already have blisters from this mornings exertions, sunburn I can do without. I've bought a voucher for the hotels cyber cafe. 2 Lm for 100 minutes use is a pretty fair price I thought, so I've posted an entry on the blog just to let the folks back home know that I'm okay etc as I'm sure Mum is worried sick, she was having nightmares before I'd even gone anywhere!

I've applied after sun gel now and I have no idea what I'm going to do this evening. Tomorrow I think I'll check out the WW2 bomb shelter down the street and lounge by the pool some more now that I've bought some new goggles from the tourist shop across the street. Shame I had to leave the pool really, but they needed to get it ready for some big Fish BBQ thing out there tonight, which is both expensive and fish. I don't do fish. Think I'll grab a dinner at one of the little cafe/restaunrants along this street. An early night sounds good too as I ache everywhere.

11pm - I've had a great night. I had dinner at a very nice restaurant (L'amigo), which was just up the hill from the hotel. I had a pasta dish, the name of which escapes me as I write this, the pasta was like very thick spaghetti though. It was served in a blue cheese sauce (I love blue cheese) with ham and mushrooms. I had a very nice (and very cold) bottle of white wine to accompany the meal. All in all, money well spent. A quick jaunt down the street brought me to the Bar 120 where I proceeded to try and find the right alcohol to mix with Kinnie, much to the barmans amusement and then amazement when he tried it with Cointreau, truly a winning combination!

From there I headed across the road to the Antonine's cocktail bar where I educated another barman in this mix (though it cost more there, 0.85Lm in the Bar 120, 1.40Lm in the lounge, harsh!). Having drunk that I proceeded onto the liquour coffees of which they do quite a range on their menu, though shockingly no Bailey's coffee. After trying their Calypso coffee (Tia Maria, had to be done), I ordered a Bailey's coffee and this actually surprised the man. The barman was a lot of fun to watch as he effortlessly produced some truly crazy looking drinks, many of which I'm keen to try at some point.

He also got the guy playing really sorrowful piano/organ tunes (lounge music) to play a superb rendition of Everything I Do (I Do It For You) at my request. I smiled all the way through (but that may have been the alcohols doing, I did have rather a lot of it in my system by then). I came here with 72Lm and after 2 days I have 35Lm left. Looks like I'm going to be needing that extra cash I left in my bank account after all. Not so much tomorrow though as I'm sticking close to the hotel then. Right now though, sleep beckons to me.

Malta Diary - Day One (25/7/06)

5:22am Home - Well I'm up, showered, dressed and ready for the off. Bags are packed & double checked. As far as I can think of I have everything I am likely to need. I'm catching the 6:47am train to Exeter St. David's station and will most likely have to catch a taxi from there to the airport. A shame that I couldn't get a lift down, but work scedules for family & friends wouldn't allow it. I'll likely set off for the train station in about half an hour or so. My heart is beating a lot faster than usual, thumping out an insane rythmn behind my ribs.

I'll be sure to take some money out of an ATM on my way through town. I have some on me anyway, but better safe than sorry. Not sure my bags are the right weight, but I can't take any less than what I am, so I'll have cash on me in the event there is a fee to pay. Part of me is terrified that my ticket etc won't be at the airport for me and that I'll be back in this room tonight. Ohhh my paranoia is having fun with me today!

6:15am Taunton Train Station - The sun is out, so the walk across town was very pleasant. I've bought a return train ticket for just 8.47. I might need to revise my opinion of rail travel. Dad thought it would be 12 pounds or more. Good thing I thought to bring a couple bottle of cold water with me, as the cans here are 70 pence and no doubt they'll cost more at the airport. I had the remains of last nights pasta bake for breakfast (I could hardly leave it sat in the fridge for a week), but I'm thinking I should have brought something to eat mid-morning. Ohh well.

8:35am Exeter Airport - So far so almost good. My trip has been spoiled only by the con artist I met on the way down here who got 30 quid out of me. Quite what I was thinking when I lent him the money on the promise of "I'll be back in a couple minutes with the van" I don't know. Still he lives in Taunton, works at scaffolding and drinks in the Coal Orchard. I'm sure I'll run into him again soon enough. He was going to give me a lift to the airport, in the end I got a taxi which cost me 14 pounds (including tip).

The airport is very nice and I am writing this sat in the Departure Lounge. I leave these shores at 10:10am, and after the morning I've had I can hardly wait to put Britain behind me. Facing me as I sit here is a large (and very gaudy) boutique selling perfume, sunglasses, alcohol and tobacco at Duty Free prices. I've browsed the shelves and spotted a few things I wouldn't mind, but I'm not going to spend any more money here.

4:30pm Maritim Antonine Hotel & Spa, Mellieha - I'm here and I have a stinking headache despite taking 3 Nurofen's already today. My room is very brown and seemingly it has no power. There is also a very annoying sound of dripping water, but as far as I can tell it is not coming from my en-suite bathroom.

My Room

It is very hot here and very dry. On the drive in the minibus across Malta I got the impression that the entire island is being reconstructed. I've never seen so many large cranes and roadworks in all my life. The view from my window is across flat rooftops and down into a narrow side street.

The View From My Balcony

I've yet to explore the hotel. I think I'm going to have a nap first and see if I can shake this headache. Then I'll see about learning my way around this place. The in-flight meal was delicious, chargrilled chicken with risotto. A shame that if my headache remains I'll likely be seeing it again a lot sooner than I would have liked!

9:30pm - Well I wasn't sick so that's a plus. Slept for 4 hours or so and then got dressed and set off to explore the Antonine. There's quite a bit to the place, which is oddly on both sides of the main road (Gorg Borg Olivier Street), the two halves linked by an underground tunnel. The hotel has a bar on my rooms side of the street which I visited before coming back to my room. Bar 120 is quite nice, though the lack of a jukebox was strange. I had a pint each of Cisk (a local slightly sweet lager) and Kinnie (the very strange yet kinda moreish local soft drink made from bitter oranges). On the other side of the street are all three pools (1 is on the roof), a buffet restaurant (Les Jardins) where I had dinner and also a pizzeria (The Al Ponte), where I woul;d have had dinner if I'd found it first. I've not yet found the cyber cafe. I'm sat here writing this watching BBC World which is the only english channel on the satellite TV (or at least the only one I've found after surfing though 50 channels).

There is a minibar in my room, but I doubt I'll be making much use of it as the drinks from it cost extra. Ohh and the power is on, apparently I need to slot my door opening card into a receiver inside the room to switch on the power while I'm in there. Would have been nice to have been told that when I checked in. Breakfast starts being served at 7:30am, so I'll be getting up early for that. I think I'll go explore the big red castle on the ridge, which overlooks the far end of the town tomorrow. Nite World.

Ohhh This Is My Island In The Sun...

Reports of my demise have no doubt already been circulating. They are as usual greatly exaggerated, sorry to disapoint folks. I'm keeping a diary while I'm here, but can't afford to type all of that out in the cyber cafe, so I'll get all of that (and the photos) posted when I get back. This is just a quickie post really to say that I'm here, alive and I'm having fun. Walked a 15km round trip this morning to go and view this big red castle that overlooks the other end of the town, and have just spent several hours crashed out by the pool, alternating between reading and swimming.

The food is good, and the drink is better, they have a very odd soft drink here made from bitter oranges called Kinnie, it's an acquired taste to be sure, but then I'm a soft drink addict so it didn't take me long to acquire it. As to the title of this post, well anyone who's ever watched The Muppet Christmas Carol can probably spot the reference. I'll likely post again before my week is up.

Ohh and it is hot here, damn hot, no hotter than what you are thinking of I can assure you. There's not been any rain here for months and the Maltese aren't expecting any until September at the earliest! Kinda puts England's heatwave in the shame.

Summer Holiday

Heh, it's cheesy I know, but I just had to post these lyrics. I don't even like this song all that much, but I've had the bloody tune stuck in my head all day now. Maybe by putting the lyrics in here it'll go away and give me some peace!

Summer Holiday by Cliff Richard

We're all going on a summer holiday.
No more working for a week or two.
Fun and laughter on a summer holiday.
No more worries for me and you.
For a week or two.

We're going where the sun shines brightly.
We're going where the sea is blue.
We've seen it in the movies.
Now let's see if it's true.

Everybody has a summer holiday
Doing things they always wanted to.
So we're going on a summer holiday
To make our dreams come true
For me and you.

Silver Shadows: A Book Review

And here is the second outstanding book review. Thought it best to get them written up before going on my holiday. As I'm taking a trilogy with me I didn't really want to come back home to 5 reviews needing writing! Silver Shadows by Elaine Cunningham is a Forgotten Realms novel and its major character is Arilyn Moonblade from the novel Elfshadow. It is set at around the same time as the novel Elfsong which also (briefly) features Arilyn. This book basically details the adventures that Arilyn is having while her partner Danilo Thann is battling a renegade bard in the north.

Here Arilyn is caught up in the machinations of Lord Inselm Hhune, a prominent guildmaster i the fractured land of Tethyr whose illegal logging operation is provoking the peaceful wild elves of the Tethir Forest. Exacerbating matters is Hhune's vicious henchman, a brute by the name of Bunlap (silly name I know!), who seems hellbent on destroying the elves outright. With Hhune elsewhere (he has gone north to Waterdeep and features in Elfsong whilst there), Bunlap has carte blanche to run things his way.

Arilyn is tasked by Queen Amlaruil of Evermeet (the island home of the elven peoples) to offer the wild elves the route of Retreat to Evermeet's well guarded shores. Initially hostile to the idea of helping the queen who has never regarded Arilyn (a half-elf) with anything less than revulsion, Arilyn does come around to the idea after finding out that her soul (and that of Danilo also) have become bonded to the magical Moonblade she wields. Horrified at the idea of being trapped in the blade when she dies, she agrees to serve as Evermeets emmissary to the wild elves in the hope that the queen can sever the bond that will trap her and her partner's souls.

In the forest she has to be careful to conceal her mixed heritage, as while the elves will tolerate a non-wild elf in their presence, they would kill her in an instant if they knew she was a half-elf. There Arilyn befriends the war leader of the people, a charismatic male elf named Foxfire, and she is watched closely by a female named Ferret. But when the elves strength is not enough, Arilyn must call on an unusual ally, the human Tinkersdam, a priest of Gond (God of Technology and Invention) and his explosive conconctions. I would be grossly underestimating him if I said that Tinkersdam is a very fun character.

I can't really say amore about the plot without giving away some huge surprises, as the plot twists and turns, with the characters having to go all over the place before eventually figuring out Bunlap's plan and fighting a truly epic battle.

Elaine's lyrical writing style is perfect for elves, and it is no surprise that most of her Realms novels feature elves strongly (though the less said about her awful Counsellors & Kings trilogy the better). I am taking her Starlight & Shadows trilogy on holiday to Malta with me. there is another sequel to this book (The Dream Spheres which is sat on my To-Read list at the time of writing this) and another (Restoration) being written. Silver Shadows though gets a solid 4/5 rating from me.

Realms Of The Underdark: A Book Review

Right I have a couple book reviews I need to get written before I set off for my holiday, so here's the first. Realms of the Underdark is a Forgotten Realms anthology of short stories. What sets this book apart from the other Realms anthologies is the number of stories inside its covers. Most of the anthologies in the series have a dozen or more tales inside, this one though has just five. In that it is unique amongst the series. Well I say five stories, the book does also include a very short preface and postscript, as well as excerpts from three other Realms novels (2 by Elaine Cunningham and 1 by R.A. Salvatore. Since I don't like Salvatore's writing and I am currently reading the first of Elaines books that were featured, I didn't bother reading the excerpts). The five stories are:

1. The Fires Of Narbondel by Mark Anthony. This story is very unusual in that it is the only story that features the dark elf Drizzt Do'Urden that is not written by R.A. Salvatore. In this story Drizzt is still a child, and while he features strongly, the tale is more based around his father Zaknafein as he undertakes a mission to find the Dagger of Menzoberra at the behest of Matron Malice Do'Urden, his ex-lover and Drizzt's mother. considering how good this story is and how much I dislike Salvatore's normal writing style, I feel it a shame that Mr. Anthony didn't pen any more stories featuring the dark elf. Ohh well, anyway this story gets a 4/5 from me.
   
2. A Slow Day In Skullport by Ed Greenwood. *sigh* Where to start... Well this is another typical Ed Greenwood tale, ie take some heroes, send them on a half-assed mission and then try to throw in as many major name characters as possible. Quite why anyone enjoys this mans writing when he does this I have no idea. He can write really good fiction (see my review of Realms Of The Deep for proof of this). I cannot in good conscience award this tale a mark higher than 1/5.
   
3. Rite Of Blood by Elaine Cunningham. This story serves as a prologue of sorts to the Starlight & Shadows trilogy which features the headstrong dark elf princess Liriel Baenre. It was due to reading this very engaging story about her coming of age ceremony (where she has to hunt down a chosen prey in the tunnels around Menzoberranzan and blood her hands), that made me choose to read the trilogy next (it had been sat on my To-Read pile for a while). Top marks for this very entertaining story. 5/5.
   
4. Sea Of Ghosts by Roger E. Moore. This is a very dark tale of revenge and travel in the southern reaches of the Underdark, featuring a pair of unlikely companions (though neither would class the other as a friend). A deep gnome (Wykar) and a borderline insane derro (Geppo) have just escaped from slavery at the hands of the drow, and Wykar is determined to get revenge, Geppo tagging along because he has nothing else better to do. their journey takes them to the monstrous underground lake that is the Sea of Ghosts and there they are witness to a cataclysm. Very gripping writing and I truly had no idea what was going to happen next. Full marks, 5/5.
   
5. Volo Does Menzo by Brian M. Thomsen. This is a story featuring the Realms most widely travelled author, Volothamp Geddarm (or Volo as he is commonly known). A writer of painfully honest travel guides (and honesty has never been in any great demand in the Realms!), Volo is an odd character with seemingly two personalities, one is that of a minor buffoon who stumbles from one misadventure to another, the other is that of a very canny traveller who knows how to play people about him. Caught up in his latest travel is Percival Gallard Woodehous, a down on his luck cook, who along with Volo finds himself being marched through the underdark to the city of Menzoberranzan. The story is simple but fun, so for that it gets 4/5.
   

As well, the Preface and Postscript (which are set in a publishing house in the city of Waterdeep) are also written by Brian M. Thomsen. They loosely tie in to his story. All in all the book is a success with only Ed Greenwoods story ruining my reading. Still I suffered through it. All in all a pretty enjoyable book and I wish that more Realms books could be done in this format (though leaving out the excerpts and having a 6th tale would be better). Overall Realms of the Underdark gets a 4/5 rating from me.

A Holiday For One

So after writing about maybe taking a holiday to get away from it all, I browsed the windows of the travel agents in town for any tantalising late deals. Only one leapt out though, a holiday in Malta for £215. Not bad, except that price was based on 2 people sharing, and thus a single holidaymaker taking that holiday would have to pay a substantial extra fee. So not really an option. I came home and after talking to a friend online decided to try some websites and search those for last minute deals.

So I browsed sites like lastminute.com, ryanair.com, easyjet.com and a couple of the high street travel agents websites also. I found a holiday to Crete for £129! "Great", I thought, Crete has tonnes of ancient history, I'd love to go there and that was a fantastic price... which turned out to be too good to be true. Again, as a single holidaymaker I get punished by the way travel agencies work, and it turns out the company running that holiday deal do not take single holidaymakers. I visited a site especially for singles (I think it was called justyou.com or something like that), but their prices were too high.

Almost in despair and about to give up, I tried thompson.com, again a high street travel agent and entered the search details... and struck gold! A week long holiday to Malta, taking off from the local Exeter airport at 10:10am this coming Tuesday for £324.99, well within my budget. I didn't umm or ahh over this, I booked the sodding thing there and then before I could talk myself out of it. So now either I'm going, or I'm throwing over three hundred quid down the drain.

I'm both thrilled and terrified at the idea of this. I've never been on holiday by myself before (apart from a weekend to Denmark in summer 1998, and then I was going to spend that time with many friends at a convention, not really the same thing), and I've not been on holiday at all since 1998. Still I'm a Capricorn, and we are nothing if not a practical starsign. So this morning I composed a list of what I needed to buy, to make up the gaps in what I'll be taking with me. The list read as follows:

1. Suitcase - I don't own one, and the ones I could borrow from my parents are all a bit big and cumbersome for my tastes. Luckily I have been spared the cost of buying one of these as my good friend Richard Adams has offered to lend me his. Cheers Rich!
2. Travel Guide to Malta - Still need to pick this up, will likely drop by WHSmiths on my way home from work tomorrow and grab it.
3. Money - Obvious really. Malta's currency is the Maltese lira (they don't change to the Euro until January 2008). I got £120 worth earlier today and if I need more while I'm there, I will be taking my Maestro card.
4. Sun Lotion - After reading a newspaper article this week about how it is best not to rub lotion into the skin (unless it is both UVA & UVB lotion) and instead leave it as a white layer on top, I definately wanted one that I could rub in. So I grabbed a bottle of Factor 25 lotion from work, and a bottle of Aloe Vera hydrating after sun gel also (because my Mum was forever nagging me as a kid to put after sun on, I figured better safe than sorry).
5. Goggles - Chlorine plays havoc with my eyes, so if I want to swim in the hotel pool (and boy do I!), goggles are a must. Luckily I found my old pair in one of my drawers.
6. Swimming Trunks/Shorts - Almost certainly it will be shorts, I have an old pair but they are not a good fit. I'll go shopping for some new ones on Sunday or Monday.
7. Sandals - Comfy open shoes for by the pool basically. Bought a nice pair for £9.99 from Shoe Zone on my way home today.
8. Shaving Kit - Not going to bother taking my electric razor with me (it doesn't work well on damp skin anyway), so I bought a cheap can of shaving foam and some disposable razors at work today).
9. Towels - I have a couple bath towels already, but they are very old and a bit tatty in places. I bought a nice pack of a couple new big blue towels from work.

I think I have pretty much everything else. Need to do a lot of laundry on Sunday, so that everything is clean and ready to pack on Monday. Main thing I really need to get sorted out now is a lift down to the airport on Tuesday morning and one back in the evening of Tuesday 1st August. Thankfully my parents and my friends have said they will see what they can do to help out in this regard. Muchly appreciated people.

The hotel is 4 star rated, and boasts two pools (the indoor one is saltwater oddly enough), a gym, free sauna, and a cyber cafe. So I might well post an update or two to this blog from Malta (with any luck complete with photos), most likely around noon (as it strikes me as a good way to stay out of the sun at that time of day). My accomodation is on a Bed & Breakfast basis, so I'll be heading out to sample local cuisine in the evenings, likely just grab a sandwich for lunch most days, or if I'm in the hotel, get something from the all day Bistro. My room is en-suite and has a balcony, so I'll take a couple books to read while I'm there (a good way to pass time and relax that doesn't cost me money).

So in just over 3 days time I'm jetting off to an island with lots of history and sun, for a week away from everything. I'm 30.5 years old, it's about time I had an adventure!

And It Was Over... Before It Began

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Back From Beyond

After 13 days spent in orbit, the space shuttle Discovery touched down at Cape Canaveral earlier today, marking the end of only the second shuttle flight since Columbia blew up on re-entry in 2003. NASA are said to be delighted with the results of the flight, proclaiming it "as good a mission as we've ever flown". With the shuttle's problems fixed, and the mission having carried out needed repairs to the International Space Station (ISS), building work can resume.

The ISS is man's permanent manned presence in space, but it is incomplete, with a half dozen modules still to be taken up and attached. Orginally planned to have a full time crew of 6, it is doubtful whether the actual number of staff will now exceed the 3 currently up there (the shuttle having left behind the German astronaut Thomas Reiter to increase the complement to 3 from now on). In less than a month the shuttle Atlantis will blast off to continue construction work.

I love anything to do with space exploration, its not just the geek in me that is awed by the cool factor of robots rolling around on other planets, or people living in glorified tin cans in orbit. I'm not a man of faith, I have no belief in a higher power or an afterlife, but what I do believe in is humanity. I truly believe that if mankind has a manifest destiny, some higher calling, then it is out there, somewhere... To put it another way, I refer to a famous quote by a Russian scientist by the name of Konstantin Tsiolkovsky, who said:

"The Earth is the cradle of humanity, but one can not live in a cradle forever!"

There will doubtless be other failures and setbacks in mankinds exploration of space, and there will be more deaths too. But none of that has ever stopped humanity from doing something before. I like to think that I'll be alive to see mankind begin to colonise the Moon in earnest, and perhaps if I'm lucky Mars too. I'd love to be around to see humans break the light speed barrier, because we will, somehow. Sure there's some rule of astrophysics that claims it is impossible to do so, but that rule was written over 50 years ago, and rules are made to be broken. Someone will find a way to do it But I don't think I'll be alive to see that.

The Odd Bunch

I didn't go out last night, I'd woken up with a stinking headache early yesterday morning which had caused me to throw up a couple times before I gave up on the idea of going to work and phoned to let them know I would not be in. I slept in till nearly noon and while the headache did eventually sod off (4 Nurofen's and a lot of water & sleep helped), I felt a bit urgh the rest of the day. So while I knew that last night was my friend Mads Bak's birthday piss up, I really didn't feel up to going out. Tony and Gareth did though, and since they got back to the house at about 3am this morning and were loud enough to wake me up I can surmise that a good time was had by them.

What I didn't realise was that there was a theme to the birthday (though I really should have guessed as my circle of mates LOVE to dress up). So while I wasn't there, my mate Jon Wright was and has sent me a few photos of the night in the hope that I'd post them on here. Wish granted Jon, here's the pictures:


From left to right: Mads Bak (pronounced Mazz Back), Jon Wright, Sean Chard, Dan Shapter (finally captured on film!) and Richard Adams. Don't they look just dapper?


The one, the only Jon Wright!


Sean looks on as Rich struts his funky stuff!


The birthday boy himself, Mads Bak.


Mads is looking very merry by this point of the night, whereas Rich looks kinda fed up, or is that intense you're trying for with that expression mate?


And here he is again (well it was his birthday so only right he is in most of the photos). Ladies, I give you Mads Bak, and yes he is single at the time of writing this.

Looks like you all had a good night out, sorry I wasn't out to share that with you. Still, thanks to Jon and his camera, it is recorded for posterity here.

Power Of Love

This has to be on of my all time favourite songs. It has a catchy tune, I know the lyrics pretty much by heart and it was the them song from one of the best movies of the 80's too, Back To The Future. I could probably go on for a while gushing about how much I like this song and why, but I don't see the need, it speaks for itself.

Power Of Love by Huey Lewis & The News

The power of love is a curious thing
Make a one man weep, make another man sing
Change a hawk to a little white dove
More than a feeling, that's the power of love

Tougher than diamonds, rich like cream
Stronger and harder than a bad girls dream
Make a bad one good, make a wrong one right
Power of love that keeps you home at night

You don't need money, don't take fame
Don't need no credit card to ride this train
It's strong and it's sudden and it's cruel sometimes
But it might just save your life
That's the power of love
That's the power of love

First time you feel it, it might make you sad
Next time you feel it it might make you mad
But you'll be glad baby when you've found
That's the power makes the world go round

And it don't take money, don't take fame
Don't need no credit card to ride this train
It's strong and it's sudden it can be cruel sometimes
But it might just save your life

They say that all in love is fair
Yeah, but you don't care
But you know what to do
When it gets hold of you
And with a little help from above
You feel the power of love
You feel the power of love
Can you feel it ?
Hmmm

It don't take money and it don't take fame
Don't need no credit card to ride this train
Tougher than diamonds and stronger than steel
You won't feel nothin till you feel
You feel the power, just the power of love
Thats the power, thats the power of love
You feel the power of love
You feel the power of love
Feel the power of love

A Silent Roar

Today at 12 noon I joined with the other staff and customers in the store where I work in observing a 2 minute silence. Those of us in the store, were joined by millions of people across Britain, as we stood still and quiet, in rememberance of those who died on this day last year, in the 7/7 London Bombings.

The silence was absolute (apart from the whirring of the refidgerators at the back of the bakery), and it was deafening. In standing quietly, solemnly, as we did, we showed not only our respect for those 52 innocents who died in the explosions, but also our contempt for the idiots who carried out the acts of terror.

Some might brand the bombers cowards, but not me. It takes guts to kill yourself. I should know, I've tried and failed before. No, I call them idiots. Why? Because if they had studied history they would have realised the utter futility of their actions. As if a few bombs and 52 dead were going to deter the people of this island from a course of action. The IRA blew up city centres and a hotel full of politicians, and we never gave an inch. The Luftwaffe levelled our cities, the U-Boats sank our ships to try and starve us, and we never gave an inch.

If Al-Qaeda seriously thinks that a few suicide bombs and innocent lives lost on our soil will change British policy then they really do not understand their enemy at all. Hurt us and you only strengthen our resolve, because anything that doesn't finish us off only makes us stronger.

Today I am proud to be able to say that I am British. We stand strong, we stand in silence. Hear us roar!

The Revenge Of Quotes From Three Movies!

Been a while since I've posted one of these, so without further rambling by me, here we go:

Troy (2004)

Priam: I've fought many wars in my time. Some I've fought for land, some for power, some for glory. I suppose fighting for love makes more sense than all the rest.

Agamemnon: A great victory was won today, but that victory was not yours. Kings do not kneel to Achilles. Kings do not pay homage to Achilles.
Achilles: Perhaps the kings were too far behind to see: the soldiers won the battle.
Agamemnon: History remembers KINGS, not soldiers! Tomorrow we'll batter down the gates of Troy. I'll build monuments for victory on every island of Greece. I'll carve Agamemnon in the stones.
Achilles: Be careful King of kings. First you need the victory.

Hector: Turn us around! Take us back to Sparta! You fool! Do you know what you've done? Do you know how many years our father worked for peace?
Paris: Wait! Listen to me. I love her.
Hector: Ugh. It's all a game to you isn't it? You roam from town to town, bedding merchants' wives and temple maids and you think you know something about love? What about your father's love? You spat on him when you brought her onto this ship! What about the love for your country? You'd let Troy burn for this woman? I won't let you start a war for her.
Paris: May I speak? If what you say is true. I've wronged you. I've wronged our father. If you want to take Helen back to Sparta, so be it! But I go with her.
Hector: To Sparta, they'll kill you.
Paris: Then I'll die fighting.
Hector: Oh, and that's sounds heroic to you doesn't it? To die fighting. Tell me little brother, have you ever killed a man?
Paris: No.
Hector: Ever seen a man die in combat?
Paris: No.
Hector: I've killed men and I've heard them dying and I've watched them dying and there's nothing glorious about it, nothing poetic. You say you're willing to die for love but you know nothing about dying and you know nothing about love!
Paris: All the same, I go with her. I won't ask you to fight my war.
Hector: You already have

Achilles: Go home, prince. Drink some wine, make love to your wife. Tomorrow, we'll have our war.
Hector: You speak of war as if it's a game. But how many wives wait at Troy's gates for husbands they'll never see again?
Achilles: Perhaps your brother can comfort them. I hear he's good at charming other men's wives.

Helen: You should not have come here tonight.
Paris: That's what you said last night?
Helen: Last night was a mistake.
Paris: And the night before?
Helen: I have made many mistakes this week.

Achilles: [to his men] Myrmidons! My brothers of the sword! I would rather fight beside you than any army of thousands! Let no man forget how menacing we are, we are lions! Do you know what's waiting beyond that beach? Immortality! Take it! It's yours!

Nestor: This will be the greatest war the world has ever seen. We need the greatest warrior.

Messenger Boy: Are the stories true? They say your mother was an immortal godess. They say you can't be killed.
Achilles: I wouldn't be bothering with the shield then, would I?
Messenger Boy: The Thesselonian you're fighting... he's the biggest man i've ever seen. I wouldn't want to fight him.
Achilles: Thats why no-one will remember your name.

[to Briseis]
Achilles: You don't have to fear me girl. You're the only Trojan who can say that.

Briseis: I thought you were a dumb brute. I could have forgiven a dumb brute.

Thetis: If you stay in Larissa, you will find peace. You will find a wonderful woman, and you will have sons and daughters, who will have children. And they'll all love you and remember your name. But when your children are dead, and their children after them, your name will be forgotten... If you go to Troy, glory will be yours. They will write stories about your victories in thousands of years! And the world will remember your name. But if you go to Troy, you will never come back... for your glory walks hand-in-hand with your doom. And I shall never see you again.

Agamemnon: Achilles is one man!
Odysseus: Hector is one man! Look what he did to us today!
Agamemnon: Hector fights for his country! Achilles fights only for himself!
Odysseus: I don't care about the man's alliegence, I care about his ability to win battles!

Achilles: You were brave to fight them.
Briseis: To fight back when I'm attacked? A dog has that kind of courage.

Achilles: Things are less simple today.
Odysseus: Women have a way of complicating things.

Conan the Barbarian (1982)

The Wizard: Between the time when the oceans drank Atlantis, and the rise of the sons of Aryas, there was an age undreamed of. And onto this, Conan, destined to wear the jeweled crown of Aquilonia upon a troubled brow. It is I, his chronicler, who alone can tell thee of his saga. Let me tell you of the days of high adventure!

Conan: Crom, I have never prayed to you before. I have no tongue for it. No one, not even you, will remember if we were good men or bad. Why we fought, or why we died. All that matters is that two stood against many. That's what's important! Valor pleases you, Crom... so grant me one request. Grant me revenge! And if you do not listen, then to HELL with you!

Valeria: Do you want to live forever?

Conan: What gods do you pray to?
Subotai: I pray to the four winds... and you?
Conan: To Crom... but I seldom pray to him, he doesn't listen.
Subotai: [chuckles] What good is he then? Ah, it's just as I've always said.
Conan: He is strong! If I die, I have to go before him, and he will ask me, "What is the riddle of steel?" If I don't know it, he will cast me out of Valhalla and laugh at me. That's Crom, strong on his mountain!
Subotai: Ah, my god is greater.
Conan: [chuckles] Crom laughs at your four winds. He laughs from his mountain.
Subotai: My god is stronger. He is the everlasting sky! Your god lives underneath him.
[Conan shoots Subotai a skeptical look. Subotai laughs]

The Wizard: The Children of Doom... Doom's Children. They told my lord the way to the Mountain of Power. They told him to throw down his sword and return to the Earth... Ha! Time enough for the Earth in the grave.

Thulsa Doom: You broke into my house, stole my property, murdered by servants and my pets, and THAT is what grieves me the most! You killed my snake... Thorgrim is beside himself with grief! He raised that snake.

Thulsa Doom: Infidel Defilers. They shall all drown in lakes of blood.

Thulsa Doom: Now they will know why they are afraid of the dark. Now they learn why they fear the night.

Mongol General: We have won again. That is good! But what is best in life?
Mongolian trainee: The open steppe, fleet horse, falcon on your wrist, wind in your hair!
Mongol General: Wrong! Conan, what is best in life?
Conan: To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of the women!
Mongol General: That is good.

Subotai: He is Conan, Cimmerian. He won't cry, so I cry for him.

Moonraker (1979)

[Bond dangles from a cable car a thousand feet up]
Dr. Holly Goodhead: Hang on!
James Bond: The thought had occurred to me.

Hugo Drax: Mr. Bond, you persist in defying my efforts to provide an amusing death for you.

Hugo Drax: Look after Mr. Bond. See that some harm comes to him.

Hugo Drax: James Bond. You appear with the tedious inevitability of an unloved season.

Dr. Holly Goodhead: Come on, Mr. Bond. A 70-year-old can take 3 G's.
James Bond: Well, the trouble is there's never a 70-year-old around when you need one.

Hugo Drax: Allow me to introduce you to the airlock chamber. Observe, Mr Bond, your route from this world to the next. And the treacherous Dr Goodhead; your desire to become America's first woman in space will shortly be fulfilled.

Dr. Holly Goodhead: James?
James Bond: I think it may be time to go home.
Dr. Holly Goodhead: Take me 'round the world one more time.

Hugo Drax: Jaws, Mr. Bond must be cold after his swim. Place him where he can be assured of warmth.

Not On A Tuesday

So not long after writing the post below this one, Matt arrived at my house and after I got dressed and such, we set out to walk to his parents house across town, stopping in the small store around the corner on the way for me to buy Coca Cola (a can for Matt, 1.5 litres for me to compensate for lack of sleep). Fired up on caffeine we reached the house where we were joined by Dan, Curly and Jake who had also been conscripted/asked into lending a hand.

With the team assembled, we then had to wait for Wendy's parents to arrive with the moving van (Wendy being Matt's diminutive other half). We were not kept waiting that long, and Matt didn't really have that much stuff to load up, mostly boxes, and oddly next to no actual furniture (I wasn't the only one to comment on this). The only actual items of furniture being an easy chair, a wooden chest and some CD towers.

The others bundled into Curly's car, while I got a lift in the van to Wendy's parents house in Cotford St. Luke. I'd not been there before and after having seen just how... bland I think is the best word I can come up with, everything looked, I'm not keen to go there again. There we unloaded everything back out of the van, and piled it up on the drive, adding to the pile of all Wendy's stuff (again mostly boxes, but there was a sofa too). Then we loaded everything back into the van, reasonably sensibly.

After a brief trip to the village shop to get drinks, Dan, Curly, Jake and myself piled into Curly's car and set off for Plymouth... leaving behind the map and instructions that Matt had written to get us to his flat! It was a nice drive, and we listened to 80's rock music from the movies on the way down, with tunes like Danger Zone, Fame, and The Power of Love amongst those enjoyed (though Jake did get the Fame tune stuck in his head!)

The four of us arrived in Plymouth well before the others as Matt and Wendy were driving down in her car and were making a stop at one of her relatives on the way, and her parents didn't plan to start driving the van down until their daughter had set off. So with some time to kill we figured to find a pub, have a beer and a pub lunch. The part of Plymouth where Matt's flat is is called the Barbican, an old part of the city right on the docks. None of us were at all enamoured of the place.

After an eternity stood waiting in line to use a cash machine, we wandered about and finally settled on the Three Crowns pub (I think that was it's name anyway) and went in and ordered pints. Bloody expensive pints at that. £2.80 for a pint of Carlsberg is daylight robbery in any town, and Dan was charged £2.40 for a glass of cola (not a pint glass either). On top of this when I asked to see the menu, I got the curt reply "We don't serve food on Tuesdays". So we took our drinks, sat outside and proceeded to merrily rip the piss out of the place. I mean what kind of idiotic policy is that? They had signs out proclaiming fresh baked food and such but not one bloody sign saying "Except on Tuesdays".

Downing our pints we went and got food from a traditional Fish 'N' Chip shop (though I think only Jake actually had fish) and sat on the quayside to eat it. Sitting and eating our chips we made fun of one legged seagulls, Plymouth in general, Tuesdays (this was to be a theme throughout the rest of the afternoon), over priced beer, and ludicrous car parking charges (seriously the place we found to park had a £1.60 fee for 2 hours, but a £10 fee for 4 hours!! What the fuck is up with that?), amongst other topics.

Matt finally turned up and we made our way to his new home. It's quite a nice little 1 bedroom flat actually, with lots of windows and two small balconies, one of which has a view over the harbour. The block also has a very nice secure garage, so it might just be worth the £500 a month rent they are going to be paying! Moving the stuff in was easier than I thought it would be (well all apart from the sofa, Jake had to take the lounge door off its hinges to get that through), and Wendy kept us supplied with drinks as the five of us men toiled. Her parents didn't lift a finger to help though, her Mum unpacking stuff in the kitchen and her Dad wandering around taking photos.

We were offered pie once all was brought up to the flat (they are on the first floor), but as it would take an hour to bake it we declined and after bidding Matt and Wendy the best of luck etc, we got back into the car (I got the passenger seat this time around) for the drive to Taunton, all of us quite glad to be leaving Plymouth behind. Curly was good enough to drop me off on my road. I got no sleep last night, but even with this cursed heat, I can just feel that tonight when my head hits the pillow, I'm not going to have any trouble getting to sleep!

Too Damn Hot!

Britain is currently suffering in a heatwave. I could say enduring, but I think suffering is a far more apt word for the way I feel about this. I'm not a lover of summer. The heat, the sweat, the smell, the glare. Urgh. Give me winter anyday, where it is cold, dark, wet, windy and miserable for months on end. Far more my kind of weather.

I'm writing this after spending a night awake, because I could not get to sleep no matter what. I have the problem that the window in my room doesn't open and I sleep with the door shut. So no air flow and a warm night means my room gets very humid. Despite sleeping on top of my bed covers, I still couldn't get to sleep. This wouldn't be so bad, I've had sleepless nights before after all, only today I am helping my friend Matt Cheetham move house. So it's not like I can grab a nap in the afternoon when the tiredness catches up to me.

What makes matters worse still is that there is no milk in the house, so no coffee to help me stay awake. It's going to be a long day I can just feel it. Still with any luck, sheer exhaustion if nothing else, will ensure I get a good nights sleep tonight.

A Long Week

At least it has seemed a lot longer than most weeks. This is mostly due to my colleague John Punch having the week off work on holiday, leaving me to run the Cake Shop dept all by myself. Well actually I say run the dept, but that isn't my job. I'm an assistant, not a supervisor or manager after all (and considering the shit that they get put through by the company I work for, I wouldn't want to be in charge). Still, I have had to do most of the work by myself, without a break.

My last day off was last Sunday, but thankfully I have just tomorrow to work and then I have 3 days opf rest to look forward too as John will be back then. So work has been stressful, what with the increased workload and also the heat. Ohhh the goddamned heat! We have a temperature gauge in the Cake Shop's corner of the bakery that has 3 tempreature zones marked on it, which are: Too Cold, Comfort Zone and Too Hot. Too Cold is defined as anything under 17 degrees celsius, while Too Hot is anything over 23 degrees. The needle has been tilted towards Too Hot all week, sometimes dipping several degrees into that zone (it was at 28 degrees when I left work at 4pm today for instance).

I'm overweight. I'm not proud of that and I wish I wasn't, but as things stand right now I am approximately 70lbs overweight. Combine that with the heat and the extra work and you can see why I've had a pretty stressful week. And that's without my manageress having a go at me at every possible opportunity. Which she has been. Granted some of it was likely deserved. I've not exactly been the model of industry this past week. I'm not sleeping well (again the heat doesn't help) even though I'm going to bed a lot earlier than usual. So I'm low on energy in general.

What gets me really is the lack of gratitude shown by my manageress this past week. She asked me (nicely for her) if I would be willing to work a 6 day week to cover John's absence. In hindsight I should have said no. Part of me knew that agreeing to what amounts to a favour would then be taken for granted, but dumb trusting me went and agreed anyway. That's one lesson learned. It's been a long hard week, but I've just got to survive tomorrow and then no more work until Friday... except cleaning the house that is, as we have an inspection by our landlady then! Ahh well, no rest for the wicked!

A Mighty Sobering Thought

A short post tonight, but I just spotted this quote on a messageboard I visit regularly, as the signature of one of the posters. The quote is as follows:

"There’s only two possibilities: There is life out there in the universe which is smarter than we are, or we’re the most intelligent life in the universe. Either way, it’s a mighty sobering thought." - Porkypine in Walt Kelly's Pogo.

Just thought I'd share that with you, sure made me stop and think.

Elfsong: A Book Review

Right one more book after this one to review and then I'm all caught up on these. Elfsong by Elaine Cunningham is a Forgotten Realms novel and is the sequel to her earlier book Elfshadow. As with that earlier book, this one is part of the Harpers series of stories that focuses on the agents of that semi-secret organisation. In this case the Harper agent is Danilo Thann, a nobleman and dandy of Waterdeep and both amateur wizard and bard. This is his story and his partner from the first novel (Arilyn Moonblade) makes only the briefest of appearances near the start of the book.

Danilo is called upon by his uncle Khelben 'Blackstaff' Arunsun, Archmage of Waterdeep and a senior Harper to investigate why the bards of the northlands are suddenly telling tales that are wrong and even ones of events that have never happened at all! Danilo is joined in this quest by the elf bard Wyn and a dwarven artist named Morgalla. Together they set out to confront the green dragon Grimnoshtadrano, as one of the new tales that has suddenly appeared in the minds of the bards is clearly intended to lure people to the dragons lair for a riddle challenge.

Deciding that having a riddlemaster with them would be very wise, Danilo seeks to hire one Vartain of Calimport, only to find that he is already employed in the service of one of Danilo's worst enemies, the rogue elf Elaith Craulnober. Elaith is searching for the Morninglark Harp, an ancient elven instrument of great power which is reputed to be in the green dragons possession. Meeting up and on the brink of fighting each other, the two groups (Elaith has a half dozen mercenaries with him too), are attacked by a large band of harpies which they barely fend off. Agreeing to travel together for mutual protection the group head for the dragon's lair.

What neither of them know is that the harp isn't there anymore, having been given by the dragon to the bard Garnet in return for the song that will lure bards to him. Garnet seeks revenge on Khelben for what has happened to the Harpers, a group originally founded to preserve the history and lore of the world but now almost exclusively concerned with furthering the political aims of its leaders. Garnet seeks to use the power of the harp and song in general to teach the world a lesson that it ignores history at its peril.

Further complicating matters are the Knights of the Shield, a group of ruthless southern merchant lords with an eye on taking control of Waterdeep itself. Waterdeep is ruled by the masked Lords, all but one of them anonymous to the general public. But anonymity can be as much a hindrance as a help if the right rumours are started, especially as Garnet's influence in altering the songs helps to undermine the legitimacy of Waterdeep's unknown rulers.

The book is very well written as I would usually expect from Elaine Cunningham, one of the best loved authors of the Realms (just don't get me started on her awful Counsellors & Kings trilogy!), with truly wonderful repartee between Elaith and Danilo, two men who despise each other and yet have a mutual grudging respect for one another. This is very much their book, though all the secondary characters get plenty of moments to shine. Elaine writes very good ensemble stories and this is no exception.

There is a lot of humour too, mostly provided by Danilo, who acts the fop and dandy, but in truth is anything but. Morgalla has a wonderful sense of wit too (especially in her satirical portraits), and also Laeral, Khelben's long suffering wife who has a mischievous streak a mile long! The plot twists and turns, and covers a great deal of the northlands too before it is done. I'm going to award this novel 4/5 though, as while it is very good, Danilo as a character does work best when he has Arilyn to complement him, a role that Elaith, Morgalla and Wyn just cannot completely fill in her absence.

Realms Of The Deep: A Book Review

Considering that I finished this book a couple weeks back (and have read a couple others since), it is well past time that I wrote up this review of it. Realms of the Deep is an anthology of short stories, set in the world of the Forgotten Realms. As with the other Realms anthologies such as Realms of the Elves, the stories within its covers have a common theme, in this case they are set around the events of the Threat From The Sea trilogy of novels, which detailed a great war under the seas around Faerun, which at times spilled over onto the lands that had shorelines along those seas.

The stories in this anthology are as follows:

• Hard Choices by Lynn Abbey. Where a malenti (a sahaugin that looks like a sea elf), must decide whether his allegiance lies with the people he was born too, or those he resembles. 3/5.
  
• Fire Is Fire by Elaine Cunningham. A young wizard who dreams of glory gets a harsh lesson in reality during the sahaugin's siege of Waterdeep. 4/5.
  
• Messenger to Seros by Peter Archer. A merman is sent to bring warning to the peoples of the Inner Sea of the growing war and befriends an orphaned girl in his strange voyage. 2/5.
  
• The Place Where Guards Snore At Their Posts by Ed Greenwood. An apprentice wizard on the Isle of Mintarn with a fondness for practical jokes, becomes the unlikely saviour of the island's ruler (and his lovely daughter). 4/5.
  
• Lost Cause by Richard Lee Byers. A knight sent to lead a militia unit gets a lesson in honour & duty in the process of defending a village from attacks by Crabmen. 4/5.
  
• Forged In Fire by Clayton Emery. A pirate captain only out for himself is reluctantly drawn into the growing conflict with the creatures of the sea, and meets his match in the form of Belinda Destine, a nigh unstoppable Imperial Marine of Calimshan. 4/5.
  
• One Who Swims With Sekolah by Mel Odom. Laaqueel, a malenti priestess bears witness as her king Iakhovas, the instigator of the undersea war, seeks an artifact and then uses it to shatter the Sharksbane Wall, freeing the sahaugin to raid and pillage the Inner Sea. 5/5.
  
• The Crystal Reef by Troy Denning. A pauper Reef Giant is caught between the forces of Calimshan's navy, and those of the undersea races when they fight over the worthless island that is his beloved home, neither side willing to concede the island to the other, their battle destroying it in the process! 5/5.
  
• The Patrol by Larry Hobbs. A rookie guardsman earns the respect of his colleagues in the Cimbar city watch whilst hunting down a malenti assassin. 3/5.
  
• Star Of Tethyr by Thomas M. Reid. A young sailor gets his first taste of duty when he is called upon to replace a fallen crewmate during an attack by the undersea races on Tethyr's shipyards. 3/5.
  
• Persana's Blade by Steven E. Schend. A young triton gets more than he ever thought he would from life, when he becomes bonded to a magical weapon during a devastating attack by morkoth's on his city. 2/5.
  
• And The Dark Tide Rises by Keith Francis Strohm. Morgan Kevlynson must undertake a perilous journey to an island to pass on a warning on behalf of a badly injured sea elf who cannot make the trip there herself. 3/5.
  

As well, at the back of the book is a small appendix detailing the Calendar of Harptos, which is how the world of the Forgotten Realms measures its years. Too there are a few pages giving a paragraph of infomation on each of the authors.

All in all this is a pretty decent collection of stories, with a couple stand out tales from Troy Denning and Mel Odom, and a surprisingly good story from Ed Greenwood (whose stories I normally can't stand). I've not read the trilogy that this anthology supports as yet, as I'm having a hard time finding a copy of the second book, but after reading this book I am much more keen to do so.

Photobucket

If you're viewing this page at around about the same time I'm writing this post, then you'll have noticed that the wonderful picture that this site is named for (as well as my photo) are missing. Fear not, I'm not getting rid of them or anything like that. It is simply that they are not housed on blogspot's servers, but rather at a free image hosting service called www.photobucket.com.

And it would seem that photobucket are having a few problems right now, as those images can't be accessed and neither can the picture I use in the chatrooms I roleplay in (which is how I discovered that photobucket wasn't working right, when that picture wouldn't load up in the room). Hopefully everything will be back to normal in a few hours and this site will again be looking as I like it too.

Ohh and for the record, this is the 300th post since I started this blog!

I'm Back... Miss Me?

It sure is nice to be back on the net after an absence of a few days. Okay, so I grabbed an hour of surfing on the computers in the town library yesterday, but those things take forever to load webpages, when compared to the broadband connection that I am used too. So I'm not counting that. We've not had an internet connection in the house since late last week though, as our broadband provider decided that we hadn't paid our monthly fee (despite it being set up for them to take the money) and cut off our access.

Cue a weekend of Tony growling at them down the phone to get their act together and re-connect us and them giving all the usual tried and tested excuses, resulting in the past weekend being spent without acce3ss to my favourite webpages such as the dozen or so webcomics I follow, the roleplay chatrooms I hang out in, the message boards I frequent and comment on and of course this blog. Sure is nice to be back!

Forty Nine Questions

I got an email yesterday from a good friend. The letter contained 49 questions, and said to fill them out and then forward the mail both to the sender and to several friends. The idea being that those friends would then fill out their own responses to those questions and I'd get back their answers and perhaps learn a few things about them I didn't know before. I'm not really a fan of chain letters though, I tend to delete them, most often without reading them at all. Still the idea of this intrigued me. So I'm going to post the questions and my answers to them here instead. If you want to do the same, feel free to post your answers in a comment.


1. FIRST NAME? Robert

2. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? My father's middle name is Robert, so I was partially named after him.

3. WHEN DID YOU LAST CRY? The last time I watched the movie Deep Impact. It always gets me.

4. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? Yes, except when I try to write fast.

5. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCHMEAT? Corned Beef

6. KIDS? No

7. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? Doubt it

8. DO YOU HAVE A JOURNAL? Yes , you're reading it now.

9. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT? Sometimes.

10. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? Yes

11. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? No!

12. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? No Added Sugar Alpen Muesli

13. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? Yes

14. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR? White Vanilla

15. DO YOU THINK THAT YOU ARE STRONG? Not really

16. SHOE SIZE? 9 (UK sizing)

17. RED OR PINK? Red

18. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF? My eyebrows

19. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST? My friends from University

20. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO SEND THIS BACK TO YOU? Not sending it to anyone.

21. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? Black trousers and navy blue slippers.

23. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? A Hazy Shade Of Winter - The Bangles

24. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? Blue

25. SMELL? Lynx Africa

26. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? My Mum

27. THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE YOU ARE ATTRACTED TO? Hair

28. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON THAT SENT THIS TO YOU? Yes I do!

29. FAVORITE DRINK? Diet Coke

30. FAVORITE SPORT? Football (Man Utd supporter)

31. EYE COLOR? Blue

32. HAT SIZE? No idea!

33. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? I wear spectacles

34. FAVORITE FOOD? Lasagne

35. SCARY MOVIE OR HAPPY ENDING? Neither

36. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED AT THE MOVIES? Mission Impossible III

37. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING? White

38. SUMMER OR WINTER? Winter

39. HUGS OR KISSES? Hugs

40. FAVORITE DESSERT? Ice Cream

41. WHO IS MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND? No-one

42. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND? No-one

43. WHAT BOOKS ARE YOU READING? Forgotten Realms novels

44. WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? Angelina Jolie as Lara Croft: Tomb Raider

45. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON TV LAST NIGHT? Germany v Poland in the World Cup

46. FAVORITE SOUND? Don't have one really.

47. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES? Both are equally crap

48. THE FURTHEST YOU'VE BEEN FROM HOME? Northern Italy

49. WHAT IS YOUR PRESENT OCCUPATION? Cake Shop Assistant

Baa Baa Banned Sheep!

It never fails to amaze me that every time I think this world cannot get any stranger, somehow it always manages to do just that. This time it is nursery rhymes that have been banned from schools in India for being, get this... unpatriotic! I mean what the fuck?? This is the sort of news that when I hear it, I have to check the date to make sure that it isn't April 1st somehow. But nope, this is the honest truth.

As detailed in this article on the BBC News website, the Indian government has banned the teaching of british nursery rhymes in schools because it wants children to learn Indian rhymes to "infuse patriotism and reduce Western influence on children". I thought we had it bad in this country with politically correct jobsworth assholes who come up with bright ideas like abolishing Sports Day at schools because "it is unfair to make the children compete". Bollocks is it unfair to make them compete, life is competition after all. They will have to compete for everything they ever get (or almost everything anyway), so they might as well get used too it.

Without competition there is no ambition, no drive to exceed and excel. There is just complacency and averages. But seriously, banning nursery rhymes is just ridiculous. It's not like the kids aren't going to recite them out of school anyway. Also this reducing Western influence is a load of crap. There are 1 BILLION Indian people. All put together, the entire populations of the European Union, USA and Canada come to less than that, and they're worried about our effect on their culture?

Just another sign (as if one was needed) that this world is going to hell in a handbasket!

In These Arms

There are many Bon Jovi songs that I like, but none more so than this one. There is a real sense of need, of desperation almost, about the lyrics. It is a song I can identify with, that ache to have and to hold. I've listened to this song in anger, and in tears, and sometimes both at once. I could say more about this song, but I'm going to shut up and just let the lyrics speak for themselves.

In These Arms by Bon Jovi

You want commitment
Take a look into these eyes
They burn as fire (yeah)
Until the end of time
I would do anything (baby)
I'd beg, I'd steal, I'd die
To have you in these arms tonight

Baby I want you
Like the roses want the rain
You know I need you
Like a poet needs the pain
I would give anything
My blood, my love, my life
If you were in these arms tonight

I'd hold you
I'd need you
I'd get down on my knees for you
And make everything alright
If you were in these arms
I'd love you
I'd please you
I'd tell you that I'll never leave you
And love you 'til the end of time
If you were in these arms tonight

We stared at the sun
And we made a promise
A promise this world would never blind us
These were our words
Our words were our songs
Our songs are our prayers
These prayers keep me strong
And I still believe
If you were in these arms

I'd hold you
I'd need you
I'd get down on my knees for you
And make everything alright
If you were in these arms
I'd love you
I'd please you
I'd tell you that I'd never leave you
And love you 'til the end of time
If you were in these arms tonight

Your clothes are still scattered
All over our room
This old place still smells
Like your cheap perfume
Everything here reminds me of you
There's nothing I wouldn't do...

And these were our words
They keep me strong...baby

I'd hold you
I'd need you
I'd get down on my knees for you
And make everything alright
If you were in these arms
I'd love you
I'd please you
I'd tell you that I'd never leave you
And love you 'til the end of time
If you were in these arms tonight
If you were in these arms tonight
If you were in these arms tonight
If you were in these arms...baby

(Fading)
Like the roses need the rain
Like the singles need to change
Like the poets need the pain
I need you
In these arms tonight

Why Do Bears Climb Trees?

To escape cats apparently! As another in an irregular series of strange animal related articles, I bring you a link to this story on the BBC News website, in which a black bear was twice chased up a tree by a 15lb housecat! I've heard of wolverines taking on bears before (even though bears are like 10 times the size of a wolverine) and winning, but this takes the piss frankly. My faith in bears being these awesome fierce creatures is shaken by this that's for sure. Have a read and have a laugh, I know I did.

A Disappointing Start

So the World Cup began yesterday. For the next couple weeks, there will be a game at 2pm, 5pm and 8pm every day. Some I am eagerly looking forward to watching, others not so much and only a very few not at all. I'll watch as many as I can though regardless. After all, this only happens every four years, so it is something to savour. Plus, pretty much all the conversation for the next month is going to revolve around this tournament, so I if I want to to be able to take part in conversations, I'd better study up.

As to the title of this piece, it is not referring to the first match yesterday where Germany beat Costa Rica 4-2 in a pretty entertaining match by all accounts (though I only got to see the first 25 mins of it). No, the title refers to England's first match at 2pm today, where they won 1-0 against Paraguay. I got to watch the whole first half in the canteen at work, thanks to the TV that the company have allowed us to put there for the duration of the tournament. The first half was... it was okay I guess. Beckham's free kick went in off the goalkeepers hand for an own goal and that was it for the scoring.

Everyone I've spoken too who watched the second half have been replete with comments to the tune of "Paraguay were all over us" etc. In short, England did their usual trick of defending on a 1 goal lead. This blindingly stupid tactic is what they tried doing against Brazil in the last World Cup and as a result were soundly beaten. You'd think they'd learn. The rest of the first half, I honestly thought they had. Sure they were still passing the ball backwards way too much (their goal is in the other direction guys, that's where you should be sending the ball), but they were doing plenty of attacking. For a team that is rated second favourites to win the World Cup, they looked distinctly average at best.

Which certainly cannot be said about either Argentina (boo hiss) or Ivory Coast, who Tony, Gareth and I have just watched playing each other. A 2-1 win to the Argies unfortunately, but a really good game, fast paced and furious. Both teams playing with the idea that the best defence is offense, which makes for blinding runs and very nifty midfield footwork. I have no work tomorrow so that'll be me, downstairs in our lounge, watching all 3 games. Monday I have a LOT of parcels from my recent wave of Ebay auctions to send out, but I'm sure if I get up early I can have that all done by midday and thus free my time for another trio of matches.

One thing is for sure, I'm going to be spending a lot less time sat at this computer for the next few weeks. Which is probably a good thing, unless you happen to be someone I chat with a lot on MSN or Yahoo. To those people I'll say only this: If you live in my town I have a 28" widescreen TV and plenty of chairs in the lounge. Just bring your own drinks and snacks. If you don't live in Taunton then sorry, but I don't watch much football, but I do watch the World Cup. I'm sure you'll all get along fine without me for a while.

The Jewel Of Turmish: A Book Review

I meant to write up this book review a few days back, still better late than never I suppose. The Jewel of Turmish by Mel Odom is a Forgotten Realms novel and the third book in the four part The Cities series. Each of the four novels is set in one of the great cities of Faerun, in this case the city of Alaghon, capital of the realm of Turmish. I've read all four of the series now and posted a review a while back of one of them, The City of Ravens, the other two I'd read before starting this blog.

The main character of this story is a young male druid by the name of Haarn Brightoak, a defender of the forests and wild lands of Turmish and a servant of the Emerald Enclave, an organisation of druids and rangers, determined to blance the growth of civilisation with the preservation of the wilds. A fantasy version of Greenpeace or the National Trust, only armed with spells and blades! We encounter him as he is following a band of mercenaries who have come into his protected woods to hunt wolves, having been offered gold to bring back wolf scalps by a farmer whose children were attacked.

With the mercenaries is Druz Talimsir, a striking young woman who left her family home in Cormyr to see the world and have adventures. When Haarn catches up to the group she is travelling with, she manages to defuse the potentially violent encounter and then accompanies Haarn as he takes up the hunt for the wolfpack, determined to stop them from preying on humans, knowing that their actions will only serve to bring more hunters into the woodland, hunters that will not be picky about which wolves (and other animals for that matter) they are killing.

Meanwhile in Alaghon itself ,a group of children make a terrible mistake and accidentally wake a long slumbering evil, the mohrg wizard Borran Klosk. As for what a mohrg is, words fail me, so have a look at this picture instead! Now picture that, only with spells as well. As for the name, is it just me or does the name Borran Klosk sound like some eastern european actor from an old Hammer Horror movie? It sure did to me. Anyway, it can use that hideous tongue as a weapon and the book is replete with many mentions of it smashing through heads and ribcages with ease.

To my mind there are two problems with this book. The first is that despite the book ostensibly being about Alaghon, the city doesn't really feature that strongly and certainly is not brought to life by the narrative. In the other books in the series (The City of Ravens, Temple Hill and The City of Splendors), the city itself has seemed as much a character as the people in the story. Not so in this case. the second problem is how long this book takes to really get going. As an example, it is not until page 263 that Haarn and Druz even enter Alaghon, spending far too long in the wilderness hunting a scarred old wolf. Were this a story about a druid in the wild, that would be all fine and good, it is certainly well written, but it is a story about a city. For that city to barely feature is inexcusable.

Actually, while I'm on the topic of things that are wrong, I'll add a third item that annoyed me about this book. The author had previously written the Threat From The Sea Trilogy, which I have not, as yet anyway, read. This novel takes place not long after the end of the trilogy and while I would expect recent events to be mentioned, I would not expect them to be mentioned, repeatedly, in every chapter (and at times it felt like every sodding page). In particular the destruction of The Whamite Isles. Yes they were destroyed, yes the population that lived there is now mindless undead. I got that the first couple times you wrote it Mr. Odom, it really wasn't neccessary to beat me over the head by mentioning it another 50 times!

This book suffers from a loooong drawn out beginning and a rushed finale. At 311 pages, for the main characters to not even enter the setting for which the book is named until page 263 is just wrong. Also the villain of the piece could really have used a better name, I felt like laughing every time I read Borran Klosk on the page (and did laugh whenever some civilian or other would scream something like: "It's Borran Klosk!! Run for your lives!!"). See? You're probably grinning too.

I'm going to award this book 2/5 and it gets that second point solely on the basis of the good writing in the wilderness chapters. Druz and Haarn are good characters, I enjoyed reading about them in the wild and their burgeoning respect and affection for each other. If the book had been 311 pages of that, I'd likely be awarding it 4/5 instead.

Hectic

That is the best word I can think of to describe being at work today. I guessed walking to work this morning that we were in for a busy day, as the sun was out and it was already hot out, and this was at 8:15am! Past experience has taught me that hot weather = high sales on cream cakes. Today was no exception, and so myself and my Cake Shop colleague John Punch found ourselves struggling at times to keep the cream cake cabinet filled up due to the demand.

What surprised us both, was the number of the larger desserts we sold. While things like fresh cream filled sponges are always good sellers, we sold a half dozen gateau's today and more than that number of fruit flans, much to John's surprise/annoyance, as he was the one making those products, while I concentrated on the smaller items like doughnuts, iced buns, scones and sundaes. When he left at 3pm he'd made a good number of flans for the backstock fridge. I think he might be a bit disapointed when he gets into work tomorrow to find them all gone!

I'm not in work now until 7am Tuesday, so right now I'm staying up late, drinking coffee and chatting online. Doctor Who was good earlier tonight and I'm very much looking forward to next weeks episode which will resolve one nasty cliffhanger ending! After the rushing around of this morning and afternoon, the laid back calm of this evening has been very welcome.