Malta Diary - Day One (25/7/06)

5:22am Home - Well I'm up, showered, dressed and ready for the off. Bags are packed & double checked. As far as I can think of I have everything I am likely to need. I'm catching the 6:47am train to Exeter St. David's station and will most likely have to catch a taxi from there to the airport. A shame that I couldn't get a lift down, but work scedules for family & friends wouldn't allow it. I'll likely set off for the train station in about half an hour or so. My heart is beating a lot faster than usual, thumping out an insane rythmn behind my ribs.

I'll be sure to take some money out of an ATM on my way through town. I have some on me anyway, but better safe than sorry. Not sure my bags are the right weight, but I can't take any less than what I am, so I'll have cash on me in the event there is a fee to pay. Part of me is terrified that my ticket etc won't be at the airport for me and that I'll be back in this room tonight. Ohhh my paranoia is having fun with me today!

6:15am Taunton Train Station - The sun is out, so the walk across town was very pleasant. I've bought a return train ticket for just 8.47. I might need to revise my opinion of rail travel. Dad thought it would be 12 pounds or more. Good thing I thought to bring a couple bottle of cold water with me, as the cans here are 70 pence and no doubt they'll cost more at the airport. I had the remains of last nights pasta bake for breakfast (I could hardly leave it sat in the fridge for a week), but I'm thinking I should have brought something to eat mid-morning. Ohh well.

8:35am Exeter Airport - So far so almost good. My trip has been spoiled only by the con artist I met on the way down here who got 30 quid out of me. Quite what I was thinking when I lent him the money on the promise of "I'll be back in a couple minutes with the van" I don't know. Still he lives in Taunton, works at scaffolding and drinks in the Coal Orchard. I'm sure I'll run into him again soon enough. He was going to give me a lift to the airport, in the end I got a taxi which cost me 14 pounds (including tip).

The airport is very nice and I am writing this sat in the Departure Lounge. I leave these shores at 10:10am, and after the morning I've had I can hardly wait to put Britain behind me. Facing me as I sit here is a large (and very gaudy) boutique selling perfume, sunglasses, alcohol and tobacco at Duty Free prices. I've browsed the shelves and spotted a few things I wouldn't mind, but I'm not going to spend any more money here.

4:30pm Maritim Antonine Hotel & Spa, Mellieha - I'm here and I have a stinking headache despite taking 3 Nurofen's already today. My room is very brown and seemingly it has no power. There is also a very annoying sound of dripping water, but as far as I can tell it is not coming from my en-suite bathroom.

My Room

It is very hot here and very dry. On the drive in the minibus across Malta I got the impression that the entire island is being reconstructed. I've never seen so many large cranes and roadworks in all my life. The view from my window is across flat rooftops and down into a narrow side street.

The View From My Balcony

I've yet to explore the hotel. I think I'm going to have a nap first and see if I can shake this headache. Then I'll see about learning my way around this place. The in-flight meal was delicious, chargrilled chicken with risotto. A shame that if my headache remains I'll likely be seeing it again a lot sooner than I would have liked!

9:30pm - Well I wasn't sick so that's a plus. Slept for 4 hours or so and then got dressed and set off to explore the Antonine. There's quite a bit to the place, which is oddly on both sides of the main road (Gorg Borg Olivier Street), the two halves linked by an underground tunnel. The hotel has a bar on my rooms side of the street which I visited before coming back to my room. Bar 120 is quite nice, though the lack of a jukebox was strange. I had a pint each of Cisk (a local slightly sweet lager) and Kinnie (the very strange yet kinda moreish local soft drink made from bitter oranges). On the other side of the street are all three pools (1 is on the roof), a buffet restaurant (Les Jardins) where I had dinner and also a pizzeria (The Al Ponte), where I woul;d have had dinner if I'd found it first. I've not yet found the cyber cafe. I'm sat here writing this watching BBC World which is the only english channel on the satellite TV (or at least the only one I've found after surfing though 50 channels).

There is a minibar in my room, but I doubt I'll be making much use of it as the drinks from it cost extra. Ohh and the power is on, apparently I need to slot my door opening card into a receiver inside the room to switch on the power while I'm in there. Would have been nice to have been told that when I checked in. Breakfast starts being served at 7:30am, so I'll be getting up early for that. I think I'll go explore the big red castle on the ridge, which overlooks the far end of the town tomorrow. Nite World.

Ohhh This Is My Island In The Sun...

Reports of my demise have no doubt already been circulating. They are as usual greatly exaggerated, sorry to disapoint folks. I'm keeping a diary while I'm here, but can't afford to type all of that out in the cyber cafe, so I'll get all of that (and the photos) posted when I get back. This is just a quickie post really to say that I'm here, alive and I'm having fun. Walked a 15km round trip this morning to go and view this big red castle that overlooks the other end of the town, and have just spent several hours crashed out by the pool, alternating between reading and swimming.

The food is good, and the drink is better, they have a very odd soft drink here made from bitter oranges called Kinnie, it's an acquired taste to be sure, but then I'm a soft drink addict so it didn't take me long to acquire it. As to the title of this post, well anyone who's ever watched The Muppet Christmas Carol can probably spot the reference. I'll likely post again before my week is up.

Ohh and it is hot here, damn hot, no hotter than what you are thinking of I can assure you. There's not been any rain here for months and the Maltese aren't expecting any until September at the earliest! Kinda puts England's heatwave in the shame.

Summer Holiday

Heh, it's cheesy I know, but I just had to post these lyrics. I don't even like this song all that much, but I've had the bloody tune stuck in my head all day now. Maybe by putting the lyrics in here it'll go away and give me some peace!

Summer Holiday by Cliff Richard

We're all going on a summer holiday.
No more working for a week or two.
Fun and laughter on a summer holiday.
No more worries for me and you.
For a week or two.

We're going where the sun shines brightly.
We're going where the sea is blue.
We've seen it in the movies.
Now let's see if it's true.

Everybody has a summer holiday
Doing things they always wanted to.
So we're going on a summer holiday
To make our dreams come true
For me and you.

Silver Shadows: A Book Review

And here is the second outstanding book review. Thought it best to get them written up before going on my holiday. As I'm taking a trilogy with me I didn't really want to come back home to 5 reviews needing writing! Silver Shadows by Elaine Cunningham is a Forgotten Realms novel and its major character is Arilyn Moonblade from the novel Elfshadow. It is set at around the same time as the novel Elfsong which also (briefly) features Arilyn. This book basically details the adventures that Arilyn is having while her partner Danilo Thann is battling a renegade bard in the north.

Here Arilyn is caught up in the machinations of Lord Inselm Hhune, a prominent guildmaster i the fractured land of Tethyr whose illegal logging operation is provoking the peaceful wild elves of the Tethir Forest. Exacerbating matters is Hhune's vicious henchman, a brute by the name of Bunlap (silly name I know!), who seems hellbent on destroying the elves outright. With Hhune elsewhere (he has gone north to Waterdeep and features in Elfsong whilst there), Bunlap has carte blanche to run things his way.

Arilyn is tasked by Queen Amlaruil of Evermeet (the island home of the elven peoples) to offer the wild elves the route of Retreat to Evermeet's well guarded shores. Initially hostile to the idea of helping the queen who has never regarded Arilyn (a half-elf) with anything less than revulsion, Arilyn does come around to the idea after finding out that her soul (and that of Danilo also) have become bonded to the magical Moonblade she wields. Horrified at the idea of being trapped in the blade when she dies, she agrees to serve as Evermeets emmissary to the wild elves in the hope that the queen can sever the bond that will trap her and her partner's souls.

In the forest she has to be careful to conceal her mixed heritage, as while the elves will tolerate a non-wild elf in their presence, they would kill her in an instant if they knew she was a half-elf. There Arilyn befriends the war leader of the people, a charismatic male elf named Foxfire, and she is watched closely by a female named Ferret. But when the elves strength is not enough, Arilyn must call on an unusual ally, the human Tinkersdam, a priest of Gond (God of Technology and Invention) and his explosive conconctions. I would be grossly underestimating him if I said that Tinkersdam is a very fun character.

I can't really say amore about the plot without giving away some huge surprises, as the plot twists and turns, with the characters having to go all over the place before eventually figuring out Bunlap's plan and fighting a truly epic battle.

Elaine's lyrical writing style is perfect for elves, and it is no surprise that most of her Realms novels feature elves strongly (though the less said about her awful Counsellors & Kings trilogy the better). I am taking her Starlight & Shadows trilogy on holiday to Malta with me. there is another sequel to this book (The Dream Spheres which is sat on my To-Read list at the time of writing this) and another (Restoration) being written. Silver Shadows though gets a solid 4/5 rating from me.

Realms Of The Underdark: A Book Review

Right I have a couple book reviews I need to get written before I set off for my holiday, so here's the first. Realms of the Underdark is a Forgotten Realms anthology of short stories. What sets this book apart from the other Realms anthologies is the number of stories inside its covers. Most of the anthologies in the series have a dozen or more tales inside, this one though has just five. In that it is unique amongst the series. Well I say five stories, the book does also include a very short preface and postscript, as well as excerpts from three other Realms novels (2 by Elaine Cunningham and 1 by R.A. Salvatore. Since I don't like Salvatore's writing and I am currently reading the first of Elaines books that were featured, I didn't bother reading the excerpts). The five stories are:

1. The Fires Of Narbondel by Mark Anthony. This story is very unusual in that it is the only story that features the dark elf Drizzt Do'Urden that is not written by R.A. Salvatore. In this story Drizzt is still a child, and while he features strongly, the tale is more based around his father Zaknafein as he undertakes a mission to find the Dagger of Menzoberra at the behest of Matron Malice Do'Urden, his ex-lover and Drizzt's mother. considering how good this story is and how much I dislike Salvatore's normal writing style, I feel it a shame that Mr. Anthony didn't pen any more stories featuring the dark elf. Ohh well, anyway this story gets a 4/5 from me.
   
2. A Slow Day In Skullport by Ed Greenwood. *sigh* Where to start... Well this is another typical Ed Greenwood tale, ie take some heroes, send them on a half-assed mission and then try to throw in as many major name characters as possible. Quite why anyone enjoys this mans writing when he does this I have no idea. He can write really good fiction (see my review of Realms Of The Deep for proof of this). I cannot in good conscience award this tale a mark higher than 1/5.
   
3. Rite Of Blood by Elaine Cunningham. This story serves as a prologue of sorts to the Starlight & Shadows trilogy which features the headstrong dark elf princess Liriel Baenre. It was due to reading this very engaging story about her coming of age ceremony (where she has to hunt down a chosen prey in the tunnels around Menzoberranzan and blood her hands), that made me choose to read the trilogy next (it had been sat on my To-Read pile for a while). Top marks for this very entertaining story. 5/5.
   
4. Sea Of Ghosts by Roger E. Moore. This is a very dark tale of revenge and travel in the southern reaches of the Underdark, featuring a pair of unlikely companions (though neither would class the other as a friend). A deep gnome (Wykar) and a borderline insane derro (Geppo) have just escaped from slavery at the hands of the drow, and Wykar is determined to get revenge, Geppo tagging along because he has nothing else better to do. their journey takes them to the monstrous underground lake that is the Sea of Ghosts and there they are witness to a cataclysm. Very gripping writing and I truly had no idea what was going to happen next. Full marks, 5/5.
   
5. Volo Does Menzo by Brian M. Thomsen. This is a story featuring the Realms most widely travelled author, Volothamp Geddarm (or Volo as he is commonly known). A writer of painfully honest travel guides (and honesty has never been in any great demand in the Realms!), Volo is an odd character with seemingly two personalities, one is that of a minor buffoon who stumbles from one misadventure to another, the other is that of a very canny traveller who knows how to play people about him. Caught up in his latest travel is Percival Gallard Woodehous, a down on his luck cook, who along with Volo finds himself being marched through the underdark to the city of Menzoberranzan. The story is simple but fun, so for that it gets 4/5.
   

As well, the Preface and Postscript (which are set in a publishing house in the city of Waterdeep) are also written by Brian M. Thomsen. They loosely tie in to his story. All in all the book is a success with only Ed Greenwoods story ruining my reading. Still I suffered through it. All in all a pretty enjoyable book and I wish that more Realms books could be done in this format (though leaving out the excerpts and having a 6th tale would be better). Overall Realms of the Underdark gets a 4/5 rating from me.

A Holiday For One

So after writing about maybe taking a holiday to get away from it all, I browsed the windows of the travel agents in town for any tantalising late deals. Only one leapt out though, a holiday in Malta for £215. Not bad, except that price was based on 2 people sharing, and thus a single holidaymaker taking that holiday would have to pay a substantial extra fee. So not really an option. I came home and after talking to a friend online decided to try some websites and search those for last minute deals.

So I browsed sites like lastminute.com, ryanair.com, easyjet.com and a couple of the high street travel agents websites also. I found a holiday to Crete for £129! "Great", I thought, Crete has tonnes of ancient history, I'd love to go there and that was a fantastic price... which turned out to be too good to be true. Again, as a single holidaymaker I get punished by the way travel agencies work, and it turns out the company running that holiday deal do not take single holidaymakers. I visited a site especially for singles (I think it was called justyou.com or something like that), but their prices were too high.

Almost in despair and about to give up, I tried thompson.com, again a high street travel agent and entered the search details... and struck gold! A week long holiday to Malta, taking off from the local Exeter airport at 10:10am this coming Tuesday for £324.99, well within my budget. I didn't umm or ahh over this, I booked the sodding thing there and then before I could talk myself out of it. So now either I'm going, or I'm throwing over three hundred quid down the drain.

I'm both thrilled and terrified at the idea of this. I've never been on holiday by myself before (apart from a weekend to Denmark in summer 1998, and then I was going to spend that time with many friends at a convention, not really the same thing), and I've not been on holiday at all since 1998. Still I'm a Capricorn, and we are nothing if not a practical starsign. So this morning I composed a list of what I needed to buy, to make up the gaps in what I'll be taking with me. The list read as follows:

1. Suitcase - I don't own one, and the ones I could borrow from my parents are all a bit big and cumbersome for my tastes. Luckily I have been spared the cost of buying one of these as my good friend Richard Adams has offered to lend me his. Cheers Rich!
2. Travel Guide to Malta - Still need to pick this up, will likely drop by WHSmiths on my way home from work tomorrow and grab it.
3. Money - Obvious really. Malta's currency is the Maltese lira (they don't change to the Euro until January 2008). I got £120 worth earlier today and if I need more while I'm there, I will be taking my Maestro card.
4. Sun Lotion - After reading a newspaper article this week about how it is best not to rub lotion into the skin (unless it is both UVA & UVB lotion) and instead leave it as a white layer on top, I definately wanted one that I could rub in. So I grabbed a bottle of Factor 25 lotion from work, and a bottle of Aloe Vera hydrating after sun gel also (because my Mum was forever nagging me as a kid to put after sun on, I figured better safe than sorry).
5. Goggles - Chlorine plays havoc with my eyes, so if I want to swim in the hotel pool (and boy do I!), goggles are a must. Luckily I found my old pair in one of my drawers.
6. Swimming Trunks/Shorts - Almost certainly it will be shorts, I have an old pair but they are not a good fit. I'll go shopping for some new ones on Sunday or Monday.
7. Sandals - Comfy open shoes for by the pool basically. Bought a nice pair for £9.99 from Shoe Zone on my way home today.
8. Shaving Kit - Not going to bother taking my electric razor with me (it doesn't work well on damp skin anyway), so I bought a cheap can of shaving foam and some disposable razors at work today).
9. Towels - I have a couple bath towels already, but they are very old and a bit tatty in places. I bought a nice pack of a couple new big blue towels from work.

I think I have pretty much everything else. Need to do a lot of laundry on Sunday, so that everything is clean and ready to pack on Monday. Main thing I really need to get sorted out now is a lift down to the airport on Tuesday morning and one back in the evening of Tuesday 1st August. Thankfully my parents and my friends have said they will see what they can do to help out in this regard. Muchly appreciated people.

The hotel is 4 star rated, and boasts two pools (the indoor one is saltwater oddly enough), a gym, free sauna, and a cyber cafe. So I might well post an update or two to this blog from Malta (with any luck complete with photos), most likely around noon (as it strikes me as a good way to stay out of the sun at that time of day). My accomodation is on a Bed & Breakfast basis, so I'll be heading out to sample local cuisine in the evenings, likely just grab a sandwich for lunch most days, or if I'm in the hotel, get something from the all day Bistro. My room is en-suite and has a balcony, so I'll take a couple books to read while I'm there (a good way to pass time and relax that doesn't cost me money).

So in just over 3 days time I'm jetting off to an island with lots of history and sun, for a week away from everything. I'm 30.5 years old, it's about time I had an adventure!

And It Was Over... Before It Began

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Back From Beyond

After 13 days spent in orbit, the space shuttle Discovery touched down at Cape Canaveral earlier today, marking the end of only the second shuttle flight since Columbia blew up on re-entry in 2003. NASA are said to be delighted with the results of the flight, proclaiming it "as good a mission as we've ever flown". With the shuttle's problems fixed, and the mission having carried out needed repairs to the International Space Station (ISS), building work can resume.

The ISS is man's permanent manned presence in space, but it is incomplete, with a half dozen modules still to be taken up and attached. Orginally planned to have a full time crew of 6, it is doubtful whether the actual number of staff will now exceed the 3 currently up there (the shuttle having left behind the German astronaut Thomas Reiter to increase the complement to 3 from now on). In less than a month the shuttle Atlantis will blast off to continue construction work.

I love anything to do with space exploration, its not just the geek in me that is awed by the cool factor of robots rolling around on other planets, or people living in glorified tin cans in orbit. I'm not a man of faith, I have no belief in a higher power or an afterlife, but what I do believe in is humanity. I truly believe that if mankind has a manifest destiny, some higher calling, then it is out there, somewhere... To put it another way, I refer to a famous quote by a Russian scientist by the name of Konstantin Tsiolkovsky, who said:

"The Earth is the cradle of humanity, but one can not live in a cradle forever!"

There will doubtless be other failures and setbacks in mankinds exploration of space, and there will be more deaths too. But none of that has ever stopped humanity from doing something before. I like to think that I'll be alive to see mankind begin to colonise the Moon in earnest, and perhaps if I'm lucky Mars too. I'd love to be around to see humans break the light speed barrier, because we will, somehow. Sure there's some rule of astrophysics that claims it is impossible to do so, but that rule was written over 50 years ago, and rules are made to be broken. Someone will find a way to do it But I don't think I'll be alive to see that.

The Odd Bunch

I didn't go out last night, I'd woken up with a stinking headache early yesterday morning which had caused me to throw up a couple times before I gave up on the idea of going to work and phoned to let them know I would not be in. I slept in till nearly noon and while the headache did eventually sod off (4 Nurofen's and a lot of water & sleep helped), I felt a bit urgh the rest of the day. So while I knew that last night was my friend Mads Bak's birthday piss up, I really didn't feel up to going out. Tony and Gareth did though, and since they got back to the house at about 3am this morning and were loud enough to wake me up I can surmise that a good time was had by them.

What I didn't realise was that there was a theme to the birthday (though I really should have guessed as my circle of mates LOVE to dress up). So while I wasn't there, my mate Jon Wright was and has sent me a few photos of the night in the hope that I'd post them on here. Wish granted Jon, here's the pictures:


From left to right: Mads Bak (pronounced Mazz Back), Jon Wright, Sean Chard, Dan Shapter (finally captured on film!) and Richard Adams. Don't they look just dapper?


The one, the only Jon Wright!


Sean looks on as Rich struts his funky stuff!


The birthday boy himself, Mads Bak.


Mads is looking very merry by this point of the night, whereas Rich looks kinda fed up, or is that intense you're trying for with that expression mate?


And here he is again (well it was his birthday so only right he is in most of the photos). Ladies, I give you Mads Bak, and yes he is single at the time of writing this.

Looks like you all had a good night out, sorry I wasn't out to share that with you. Still, thanks to Jon and his camera, it is recorded for posterity here.

Power Of Love

This has to be on of my all time favourite songs. It has a catchy tune, I know the lyrics pretty much by heart and it was the them song from one of the best movies of the 80's too, Back To The Future. I could probably go on for a while gushing about how much I like this song and why, but I don't see the need, it speaks for itself.

Power Of Love by Huey Lewis & The News

The power of love is a curious thing
Make a one man weep, make another man sing
Change a hawk to a little white dove
More than a feeling, that's the power of love

Tougher than diamonds, rich like cream
Stronger and harder than a bad girls dream
Make a bad one good, make a wrong one right
Power of love that keeps you home at night

You don't need money, don't take fame
Don't need no credit card to ride this train
It's strong and it's sudden and it's cruel sometimes
But it might just save your life
That's the power of love
That's the power of love

First time you feel it, it might make you sad
Next time you feel it it might make you mad
But you'll be glad baby when you've found
That's the power makes the world go round

And it don't take money, don't take fame
Don't need no credit card to ride this train
It's strong and it's sudden it can be cruel sometimes
But it might just save your life

They say that all in love is fair
Yeah, but you don't care
But you know what to do
When it gets hold of you
And with a little help from above
You feel the power of love
You feel the power of love
Can you feel it ?
Hmmm

It don't take money and it don't take fame
Don't need no credit card to ride this train
Tougher than diamonds and stronger than steel
You won't feel nothin till you feel
You feel the power, just the power of love
Thats the power, thats the power of love
You feel the power of love
You feel the power of love
Feel the power of love

A Silent Roar

Today at 12 noon I joined with the other staff and customers in the store where I work in observing a 2 minute silence. Those of us in the store, were joined by millions of people across Britain, as we stood still and quiet, in rememberance of those who died on this day last year, in the 7/7 London Bombings.

The silence was absolute (apart from the whirring of the refidgerators at the back of the bakery), and it was deafening. In standing quietly, solemnly, as we did, we showed not only our respect for those 52 innocents who died in the explosions, but also our contempt for the idiots who carried out the acts of terror.

Some might brand the bombers cowards, but not me. It takes guts to kill yourself. I should know, I've tried and failed before. No, I call them idiots. Why? Because if they had studied history they would have realised the utter futility of their actions. As if a few bombs and 52 dead were going to deter the people of this island from a course of action. The IRA blew up city centres and a hotel full of politicians, and we never gave an inch. The Luftwaffe levelled our cities, the U-Boats sank our ships to try and starve us, and we never gave an inch.

If Al-Qaeda seriously thinks that a few suicide bombs and innocent lives lost on our soil will change British policy then they really do not understand their enemy at all. Hurt us and you only strengthen our resolve, because anything that doesn't finish us off only makes us stronger.

Today I am proud to be able to say that I am British. We stand strong, we stand in silence. Hear us roar!

The Revenge Of Quotes From Three Movies!

Been a while since I've posted one of these, so without further rambling by me, here we go:

Troy (2004)

Priam: I've fought many wars in my time. Some I've fought for land, some for power, some for glory. I suppose fighting for love makes more sense than all the rest.

Agamemnon: A great victory was won today, but that victory was not yours. Kings do not kneel to Achilles. Kings do not pay homage to Achilles.
Achilles: Perhaps the kings were too far behind to see: the soldiers won the battle.
Agamemnon: History remembers KINGS, not soldiers! Tomorrow we'll batter down the gates of Troy. I'll build monuments for victory on every island of Greece. I'll carve Agamemnon in the stones.
Achilles: Be careful King of kings. First you need the victory.

Hector: Turn us around! Take us back to Sparta! You fool! Do you know what you've done? Do you know how many years our father worked for peace?
Paris: Wait! Listen to me. I love her.
Hector: Ugh. It's all a game to you isn't it? You roam from town to town, bedding merchants' wives and temple maids and you think you know something about love? What about your father's love? You spat on him when you brought her onto this ship! What about the love for your country? You'd let Troy burn for this woman? I won't let you start a war for her.
Paris: May I speak? If what you say is true. I've wronged you. I've wronged our father. If you want to take Helen back to Sparta, so be it! But I go with her.
Hector: To Sparta, they'll kill you.
Paris: Then I'll die fighting.
Hector: Oh, and that's sounds heroic to you doesn't it? To die fighting. Tell me little brother, have you ever killed a man?
Paris: No.
Hector: Ever seen a man die in combat?
Paris: No.
Hector: I've killed men and I've heard them dying and I've watched them dying and there's nothing glorious about it, nothing poetic. You say you're willing to die for love but you know nothing about dying and you know nothing about love!
Paris: All the same, I go with her. I won't ask you to fight my war.
Hector: You already have

Achilles: Go home, prince. Drink some wine, make love to your wife. Tomorrow, we'll have our war.
Hector: You speak of war as if it's a game. But how many wives wait at Troy's gates for husbands they'll never see again?
Achilles: Perhaps your brother can comfort them. I hear he's good at charming other men's wives.

Helen: You should not have come here tonight.
Paris: That's what you said last night?
Helen: Last night was a mistake.
Paris: And the night before?
Helen: I have made many mistakes this week.

Achilles: [to his men] Myrmidons! My brothers of the sword! I would rather fight beside you than any army of thousands! Let no man forget how menacing we are, we are lions! Do you know what's waiting beyond that beach? Immortality! Take it! It's yours!

Nestor: This will be the greatest war the world has ever seen. We need the greatest warrior.

Messenger Boy: Are the stories true? They say your mother was an immortal godess. They say you can't be killed.
Achilles: I wouldn't be bothering with the shield then, would I?
Messenger Boy: The Thesselonian you're fighting... he's the biggest man i've ever seen. I wouldn't want to fight him.
Achilles: Thats why no-one will remember your name.

[to Briseis]
Achilles: You don't have to fear me girl. You're the only Trojan who can say that.

Briseis: I thought you were a dumb brute. I could have forgiven a dumb brute.

Thetis: If you stay in Larissa, you will find peace. You will find a wonderful woman, and you will have sons and daughters, who will have children. And they'll all love you and remember your name. But when your children are dead, and their children after them, your name will be forgotten... If you go to Troy, glory will be yours. They will write stories about your victories in thousands of years! And the world will remember your name. But if you go to Troy, you will never come back... for your glory walks hand-in-hand with your doom. And I shall never see you again.

Agamemnon: Achilles is one man!
Odysseus: Hector is one man! Look what he did to us today!
Agamemnon: Hector fights for his country! Achilles fights only for himself!
Odysseus: I don't care about the man's alliegence, I care about his ability to win battles!

Achilles: You were brave to fight them.
Briseis: To fight back when I'm attacked? A dog has that kind of courage.

Achilles: Things are less simple today.
Odysseus: Women have a way of complicating things.

Conan the Barbarian (1982)

The Wizard: Between the time when the oceans drank Atlantis, and the rise of the sons of Aryas, there was an age undreamed of. And onto this, Conan, destined to wear the jeweled crown of Aquilonia upon a troubled brow. It is I, his chronicler, who alone can tell thee of his saga. Let me tell you of the days of high adventure!

Conan: Crom, I have never prayed to you before. I have no tongue for it. No one, not even you, will remember if we were good men or bad. Why we fought, or why we died. All that matters is that two stood against many. That's what's important! Valor pleases you, Crom... so grant me one request. Grant me revenge! And if you do not listen, then to HELL with you!

Valeria: Do you want to live forever?

Conan: What gods do you pray to?
Subotai: I pray to the four winds... and you?
Conan: To Crom... but I seldom pray to him, he doesn't listen.
Subotai: [chuckles] What good is he then? Ah, it's just as I've always said.
Conan: He is strong! If I die, I have to go before him, and he will ask me, "What is the riddle of steel?" If I don't know it, he will cast me out of Valhalla and laugh at me. That's Crom, strong on his mountain!
Subotai: Ah, my god is greater.
Conan: [chuckles] Crom laughs at your four winds. He laughs from his mountain.
Subotai: My god is stronger. He is the everlasting sky! Your god lives underneath him.
[Conan shoots Subotai a skeptical look. Subotai laughs]

The Wizard: The Children of Doom... Doom's Children. They told my lord the way to the Mountain of Power. They told him to throw down his sword and return to the Earth... Ha! Time enough for the Earth in the grave.

Thulsa Doom: You broke into my house, stole my property, murdered by servants and my pets, and THAT is what grieves me the most! You killed my snake... Thorgrim is beside himself with grief! He raised that snake.

Thulsa Doom: Infidel Defilers. They shall all drown in lakes of blood.

Thulsa Doom: Now they will know why they are afraid of the dark. Now they learn why they fear the night.

Mongol General: We have won again. That is good! But what is best in life?
Mongolian trainee: The open steppe, fleet horse, falcon on your wrist, wind in your hair!
Mongol General: Wrong! Conan, what is best in life?
Conan: To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of the women!
Mongol General: That is good.

Subotai: He is Conan, Cimmerian. He won't cry, so I cry for him.

Moonraker (1979)

[Bond dangles from a cable car a thousand feet up]
Dr. Holly Goodhead: Hang on!
James Bond: The thought had occurred to me.

Hugo Drax: Mr. Bond, you persist in defying my efforts to provide an amusing death for you.

Hugo Drax: Look after Mr. Bond. See that some harm comes to him.

Hugo Drax: James Bond. You appear with the tedious inevitability of an unloved season.

Dr. Holly Goodhead: Come on, Mr. Bond. A 70-year-old can take 3 G's.
James Bond: Well, the trouble is there's never a 70-year-old around when you need one.

Hugo Drax: Allow me to introduce you to the airlock chamber. Observe, Mr Bond, your route from this world to the next. And the treacherous Dr Goodhead; your desire to become America's first woman in space will shortly be fulfilled.

Dr. Holly Goodhead: James?
James Bond: I think it may be time to go home.
Dr. Holly Goodhead: Take me 'round the world one more time.

Hugo Drax: Jaws, Mr. Bond must be cold after his swim. Place him where he can be assured of warmth.

Not On A Tuesday

So not long after writing the post below this one, Matt arrived at my house and after I got dressed and such, we set out to walk to his parents house across town, stopping in the small store around the corner on the way for me to buy Coca Cola (a can for Matt, 1.5 litres for me to compensate for lack of sleep). Fired up on caffeine we reached the house where we were joined by Dan, Curly and Jake who had also been conscripted/asked into lending a hand.

With the team assembled, we then had to wait for Wendy's parents to arrive with the moving van (Wendy being Matt's diminutive other half). We were not kept waiting that long, and Matt didn't really have that much stuff to load up, mostly boxes, and oddly next to no actual furniture (I wasn't the only one to comment on this). The only actual items of furniture being an easy chair, a wooden chest and some CD towers.

The others bundled into Curly's car, while I got a lift in the van to Wendy's parents house in Cotford St. Luke. I'd not been there before and after having seen just how... bland I think is the best word I can come up with, everything looked, I'm not keen to go there again. There we unloaded everything back out of the van, and piled it up on the drive, adding to the pile of all Wendy's stuff (again mostly boxes, but there was a sofa too). Then we loaded everything back into the van, reasonably sensibly.

After a brief trip to the village shop to get drinks, Dan, Curly, Jake and myself piled into Curly's car and set off for Plymouth... leaving behind the map and instructions that Matt had written to get us to his flat! It was a nice drive, and we listened to 80's rock music from the movies on the way down, with tunes like Danger Zone, Fame, and The Power of Love amongst those enjoyed (though Jake did get the Fame tune stuck in his head!)

The four of us arrived in Plymouth well before the others as Matt and Wendy were driving down in her car and were making a stop at one of her relatives on the way, and her parents didn't plan to start driving the van down until their daughter had set off. So with some time to kill we figured to find a pub, have a beer and a pub lunch. The part of Plymouth where Matt's flat is is called the Barbican, an old part of the city right on the docks. None of us were at all enamoured of the place.

After an eternity stood waiting in line to use a cash machine, we wandered about and finally settled on the Three Crowns pub (I think that was it's name anyway) and went in and ordered pints. Bloody expensive pints at that. £2.80 for a pint of Carlsberg is daylight robbery in any town, and Dan was charged £2.40 for a glass of cola (not a pint glass either). On top of this when I asked to see the menu, I got the curt reply "We don't serve food on Tuesdays". So we took our drinks, sat outside and proceeded to merrily rip the piss out of the place. I mean what kind of idiotic policy is that? They had signs out proclaiming fresh baked food and such but not one bloody sign saying "Except on Tuesdays".

Downing our pints we went and got food from a traditional Fish 'N' Chip shop (though I think only Jake actually had fish) and sat on the quayside to eat it. Sitting and eating our chips we made fun of one legged seagulls, Plymouth in general, Tuesdays (this was to be a theme throughout the rest of the afternoon), over priced beer, and ludicrous car parking charges (seriously the place we found to park had a £1.60 fee for 2 hours, but a £10 fee for 4 hours!! What the fuck is up with that?), amongst other topics.

Matt finally turned up and we made our way to his new home. It's quite a nice little 1 bedroom flat actually, with lots of windows and two small balconies, one of which has a view over the harbour. The block also has a very nice secure garage, so it might just be worth the £500 a month rent they are going to be paying! Moving the stuff in was easier than I thought it would be (well all apart from the sofa, Jake had to take the lounge door off its hinges to get that through), and Wendy kept us supplied with drinks as the five of us men toiled. Her parents didn't lift a finger to help though, her Mum unpacking stuff in the kitchen and her Dad wandering around taking photos.

We were offered pie once all was brought up to the flat (they are on the first floor), but as it would take an hour to bake it we declined and after bidding Matt and Wendy the best of luck etc, we got back into the car (I got the passenger seat this time around) for the drive to Taunton, all of us quite glad to be leaving Plymouth behind. Curly was good enough to drop me off on my road. I got no sleep last night, but even with this cursed heat, I can just feel that tonight when my head hits the pillow, I'm not going to have any trouble getting to sleep!

Too Damn Hot!

Britain is currently suffering in a heatwave. I could say enduring, but I think suffering is a far more apt word for the way I feel about this. I'm not a lover of summer. The heat, the sweat, the smell, the glare. Urgh. Give me winter anyday, where it is cold, dark, wet, windy and miserable for months on end. Far more my kind of weather.

I'm writing this after spending a night awake, because I could not get to sleep no matter what. I have the problem that the window in my room doesn't open and I sleep with the door shut. So no air flow and a warm night means my room gets very humid. Despite sleeping on top of my bed covers, I still couldn't get to sleep. This wouldn't be so bad, I've had sleepless nights before after all, only today I am helping my friend Matt Cheetham move house. So it's not like I can grab a nap in the afternoon when the tiredness catches up to me.

What makes matters worse still is that there is no milk in the house, so no coffee to help me stay awake. It's going to be a long day I can just feel it. Still with any luck, sheer exhaustion if nothing else, will ensure I get a good nights sleep tonight.

A Long Week

At least it has seemed a lot longer than most weeks. This is mostly due to my colleague John Punch having the week off work on holiday, leaving me to run the Cake Shop dept all by myself. Well actually I say run the dept, but that isn't my job. I'm an assistant, not a supervisor or manager after all (and considering the shit that they get put through by the company I work for, I wouldn't want to be in charge). Still, I have had to do most of the work by myself, without a break.

My last day off was last Sunday, but thankfully I have just tomorrow to work and then I have 3 days opf rest to look forward too as John will be back then. So work has been stressful, what with the increased workload and also the heat. Ohhh the goddamned heat! We have a temperature gauge in the Cake Shop's corner of the bakery that has 3 tempreature zones marked on it, which are: Too Cold, Comfort Zone and Too Hot. Too Cold is defined as anything under 17 degrees celsius, while Too Hot is anything over 23 degrees. The needle has been tilted towards Too Hot all week, sometimes dipping several degrees into that zone (it was at 28 degrees when I left work at 4pm today for instance).

I'm overweight. I'm not proud of that and I wish I wasn't, but as things stand right now I am approximately 70lbs overweight. Combine that with the heat and the extra work and you can see why I've had a pretty stressful week. And that's without my manageress having a go at me at every possible opportunity. Which she has been. Granted some of it was likely deserved. I've not exactly been the model of industry this past week. I'm not sleeping well (again the heat doesn't help) even though I'm going to bed a lot earlier than usual. So I'm low on energy in general.

What gets me really is the lack of gratitude shown by my manageress this past week. She asked me (nicely for her) if I would be willing to work a 6 day week to cover John's absence. In hindsight I should have said no. Part of me knew that agreeing to what amounts to a favour would then be taken for granted, but dumb trusting me went and agreed anyway. That's one lesson learned. It's been a long hard week, but I've just got to survive tomorrow and then no more work until Friday... except cleaning the house that is, as we have an inspection by our landlady then! Ahh well, no rest for the wicked!