Castle In The Clouds

Quotes From Three Movies: The Inevitable Sequel!

2012-01-17T22:48:00.001Z

And here's another in my occasional series of presenting some of my favourite quotes from a trio of movies, so without further ado here we go:

X-Men: First Class (2011)

Erik Lehnsherr: Excuse me, I'm Erik Lehnsherr.
Professor Charles Xavier: Charles Xavier.
Logan: Go fuck yourself.

Professor Charles Xavier: Shaw's declared war on mankind on all of us, he has to be stopped.
Erik Lehnsherr: I am not gonna stop Shaw, I am gonna kill him. Do you have it in you to allow that?
[Erik pauses while Charles shifts in his chair uneasy]
Erik Lehnsherr: You've known all along why I was here Charles, but things have changed. What started as a covert mission, tomorrow mankind will know mutants exist. Shaw, us, they won't differentiate. They'll fear us. And that fear will turn to hatred.
Professor Charles Xavier: Not if we stop a war, not if we can prevent Shaw, not if we risk our lives doing so.
Erik Lehnsherr: Would they do the same for us?
Professor Charles Xavier: We have it in us to be the better man.
Erik Lehnsherr: We already are! We are the next stage of human evolution, you said it yourself...
Professor Charles Xavier: [cuts in] No, no...
Erik Lehnsherr: Are you really so naive as to think that they won't battle their own extinction? Or is it arrogance?
Professor Charles Xavier: [looks at Erik in disagreement] I am sorry.
Erik Lehnsherr: After tomorrow, they are gonna turn on us. But you are blinded because you believe they are all like Moira.
Professor Charles Xavier: And you believe they are all like Shaw.
[leans forward]
Professor Charles Xavier: Listen to me very carefully, my friend: killing Shaw will not bring you peace.
Erik Lehnsherr: Peace was never an option.

Erik Lehnsherr: [before Charles uses Cerebro for the first time] What an adorable lab rat you make, Charles.
Professor Charles Xavier: Don't spoil this for me, Erik.
Erik Lehnsherr: I've been a lab rat. I know when I see one.

Professor Charles Xavier: I can't stop thinking about the others out there, all those minds that I touched. I could feel them, their isolation, their hopes, their ambitions. I tell you we can start something incredible, Erik. We can help them.
Erik Lehnsherr: Can we? Identification, that's how it starts. And ends with being rounded up, experimented on and eliminated.
Professor Charles Xavier: Not this time. We have common enemies, Shaw, the Russians. They need us.
Erik Lehnsherr: For now.

The Rocketeer (1991)

Jenny: Everything about you is a lie.
Neville: It wasn't lies, Jenny. It was acting.

[Valentine and his gang have brought Secord and the rocket to Neville Sinclair]
Cliff Secord: What's it like working for a Nazi, Eddie? Does he pay you in dollars or reichsmarks?
Eddie Valentine: What's he talking about, Sinclair?
Cliff Secord: Oh, yeah Eddie! I got it straight from the Feds. Nazi spy ring, Flying Commandos, the works!
Neville: He's been flying where the air's too thin.
Jenny: Tell him about the secret room. Tell him about the Germans on the radio!
Goose: [pointing a gun at Lothar] Easy, Frankenstein. You ain't bulletproof!
Eddie Valentine: Start talking, Sinclair!
Neville: C'mon, Eddie. I'm paying you well. Does it really matter where the money comes from?
Eddie Valentine: It matters to me. I may not make an honest buck, but I'm 100% American. I don't work for no two-bit Nazi. Let the girl go!
[Neville laughs]
Neville: Sturmabteilung, Äußern sich!

Cliff Secord: [donning the Rocketeer helmet] How do I look?
Peevy: Like a hood ornament.

Mrs. Pye, Girls Dormitory Matron: You know my rules: no gentlemen allowed inside after 6 PM.
Cliff Secord: But I'm not a gentleman.
Mrs. Pye, Girls Dormitory Matron: You're telling me.

Jenny: Oh my God. Neville Sinclair's a...
Neville: A what? Spy? Saboteur? Facist? All of the above.

Peevy: Clifford, when you borrow somethin', you don't tell nobody, they call that stealing you know.

The Sum Of All Fears (2002)

Bill Cabot: When I asked for your advice, I didn't mean that you should actually speak.

[after an unpleasant silence]
President Nemerov: [to Cabot, about Ryan] I like him.
Bill Cabot: In that case, so do I.

Bill Cabot: What's the t-shirt say?
Depot Worker: "I am a bomb technician, if you see me running...
[laughs]
Depot Worker: ... try to catch up."

Jack Ryan: General, the President is basing his decisions on some really bad information right now. And if you shut me out, your family, and my family, and twenty-five million other families will be dead in thirty minutes.

President Robert Fowler: My beautiful wife, Julie, is from New Jersey. 15 electoral votes... and is, as you know, half Jewish. So we'll take Florida's 25 electoral votes and divide by 2. My daughter, Jeanie, is expecting her first child. If it's a girl, she will be named Virginia. 13 electoral votes. In fact, even if it's a boy, he'll be named Virginia. She reminds me that I have publicly acknowledged that as a young Marine officer in Vietnam, I did, on a handful of occasions, smoke marijuana.
[pause]
President Robert Fowler: California. 54 electoral votes.

President Nemerov: I can't stop what I did not start.

President Fowler: We gotta update these fire drills, Billy. I mean, if the shit ever hits the fan, I'm not going underground. This place is a goddamn tomb down there!
Bill Cabot: We've also gotta choose someone else to face off against besides the Russians all the time.
President Fowler: Really? Let's see. Who else has 27,000 nukes for us to worry about?
Bill Cabot: It's the guy with one I'm worried about.

[Jack is negotiating with President Nemerov over the Hot Line]
Jack Ryan: Sir, I know you. I know you had nothing to do with the Baltimore bomb, and you sure as hell know you didn't! But you're still about to launch a nuclear strike against us! This no longer has anything to do with Baltimore! Now it's about fear! Our fear of your missiles, your fear of our subs, fear of being weak, fear of making a mistake... the same fear of the other guy that had us build these goddamn bombs in the first place!

Dressler: Most people believe that the 20th century was a death struggle between Communism and Capitalism, and that Fascism was but a hiccup. But today we know better. Communism was a fool's errand. The followers of Marx gone from this earth, but the followers of Hitler abound and thrive. Hitler, however, had one great disadvantage. He lived in a time when Fascism, like a virus... like the AIDS virus... needed a strong host in order to spread. Germany was that host. But Germany did not prevail. The world was too big. Fortunately, the world has changed. Global communications, cable TV, the internet. Today the world is smaller and a virus does not need a strong host in order to spread. The virus... is airborne. One more thing. Let no man call us crazy. They called Hitler crazy. But Hitler was not crazy. He was stupid. You don't fight Russia *and* America. You get Russia and America to fight each other... and destroy each other.

Happy Birthday To Me

2012-01-16T21:37:00.001Z

So I turned 36 years old today and while the day itself has gone rather well, what with lunch at Pizza Hut and then a couple movies back to back (Puss in Boots and The Darkest Hour), both of which were in 3D and I enjoyed them both, it is hard to go through the day without looking back on the year just gone and ahead to what comes next.

My 36th year did not go well really. I lost my job, failed to find a new one and my weight and debt both increased. The only silver lining really is that at least the migraines that I suffered from seem to have eased off of late (though I'm pretty sure the 2 large bottles of Jacque's cider I intend on drinking before heading to bed tonight will see to it that I have a headache tomorrow). I have less of a sense of self worth than ever, and the bouts of depression I get are getting worse and lasting longer. I seem to suffer from aches and pains more, especially in my right shoulder and that side of my neck.

So what is there to look forward too? Well hopefully a job will happen at some point, I'm applying for plenty and at some point one of these companies has to actually respond to my CV, or at least I hope so. I'm slowly getting better at painting figures, and my army whilst still very small at the moment is beginning to take shape and will, I'm sure, look very impressive when it's all done. I need to lose weight but I do not have the willpower needed to do so, not by myself. Truth is, I simply don't care about myself and have not done so for so long now that I'm not actually sure how to start doing so again.

I know that the year ahead will not see me find that "special someone" and so the profound sense of loneliness that I feel at all times will only get worse. As I've posted about before, I am the proverbial nice guy who always finishes last and so I'll go unnoticed and unloved whilst listening and reading about friends boyfriends and such taking them for granted, or treating them poorly. As the Abba song goes "If you're all alone, when the pretty birds have flown, honey I'm still free, take a chance on me" but I know that no-one ever will because the world doesn't work that way. Even were I to lose the weight, I'd still be a poor, balding geeky guy. I think in part that's what stops me bothering to try and slim down, because I doubt I'd be any happier as a thin guy than I am now as a fat one. At least now I can eat what I like.

So here's to being 36 years old and a toast to the only thing I really achieved last year... getting one year closer to being dead. Such a pity that there's so many more years ahead of me.

Progress Being Made... Mostly

2012-01-13T00:06:00.001Z

So I finally finished off some of my Space Marines. Woo hooo!!! I completed the 10 man Tactical Squad and the Razorback Tank (with both of its turret choices) that I'd had on the go for ages, as well as start and finish painting the Contemptor Dreadnought that I bought myself as a Xmas present, as frankly it was way too nice a model to leave alone. I've magnetised the arm sockets and the weapons (currently an Assault Cannon and a Close Combat Arm with built-in Storm Bolter but I plan on getting more arms as soon as I can afford them). which was devilishly tricky to do, but very happy with the finished result as it gives the model far more versatility than it would have had otherwise.

However, as lovely as it is to get those off the To-Do List and onto my display shelf, my Housemate Gareth went and bought me a Space Marine Bike for Xmas. Not an Attack Bike, Tony bought me one of those, but a regular bike, which means I now need to buy more of them in order to be able to actually field it. I don't have the money to do that right now, but when I do I'll be getting another 7 of them so that along with the Attack Bike I can field a full unit of 10, which should be pretty awesome.

I plan on getting the Ravenwing Battalion Box, which is pretty cool. While I don't play Dark Angels, it has 6 Bikes, another Attack Bike (which along with the one my brother Rhys is getting for my birthday next week will also give me the option to instead field a unit of 3 Attack Bikes), and a Land Speeder too, along with a ton of bits for customising figures and vehicles. I also need to get a bunch of the sculpted shoulder pads from Games Workshop bits Mail Order as frankly I'm terrible at using transfers and I think they look better anyway. My eventual goal is to have the entire Third Company of the Imperial Fists, plus support from the First and Tenth companies, but that's more of a long term thing. I'm not in any hurry to assemble and paint up another 4 Tactical Squads, one yes, four NO!

I was suppossed to be clearing space on my painting desk, but as I type this sat on it behind me are the assembled forms of 5 Scouts and 5 Assault Marines with Jump Packs and I'm about a third of the way through assembling the other 5 Assault Marines. The reason for this is that my circle of friends have formed a league for our Warhammer 40,000 battles and I have my first match tomorrow, a grudge match against Richie's Eldar. Last time I whupped the floor with them, so he's eager for revenge. Should be fun.

Pain

2012-01-02T11:32:00.000Z

Hello 2012... I hate you already.

This is because since waking up on New Years Day I've had a truly ridiculous amount of pain in the right side of my neck and also the shoulder/arm joint on that side. I've taken painkillers and they do nothing. I've applied Deep Heat muscle rub to try and soothe the pain, which did nothing. Slept flat on my back last night, and that didn't help either, if anything the pain is worse today than it was yesterday and it was at times making me gasp then.

I can relieve the pain by lying down, which for a time alleviates it somewhat as the weight of my head is no longer sat on my neck, but I can't just lie on my back all day doing nothing. I somehow need to get to the shops and buy a few things, as I'm out of bread, cold meat, pop, sugar and almost out of milk too. Simply getting to the shops is going to be a herculean effort, yet alone the problem of how I'm meant to carry my purchases back with me.

What truly annoys me about this isn't the pain so much (though it is very annoying), it's more that I don't know how I hurt myself and so don't know what not to do to prevent it happening again. I went to bed early on New Year's Eve, skipping the party that friends were attending as I just didn't feel like attending. By 11pm I was sound asleep, only to wake up in the early hours in agony. There are times I feel like I was born to suffer, this would be one of them.

Urrggghhhhh

2011-12-24T10:21:00.001Z

Otherwise know as the oligatory over-reacting to a touch of flu post! Yeah I'm ill, and it sucks to be ill at this time of year, especially as I'm due to head over my parents house tomorrow morning (though I'm tempted to go today as I can catch a bus if I do so). It started with a thumping headache on Wednesday which brought on dizziness and vomiting, and pretty much confined me to bed for the whole day. While my body knackered itself out sorting them out, it seems flu crept in unnoticed and managed to establish a beachhead that my tired immune system is now having some diffculty in dislodging.

This particular strain of flu seems to have been concocted with a peverse sense of humour though as it is keeping me drowsy and craving sleep, and yet I cannot sleep. I just lie there for hours staring at the inside of my eyelids. I've been awake since about 3am currently as I got fed up or trying to sleep and though maybe an hour or two being awake would make me nod off... so far no luck.

Thankfully Gareth is off out to the shops, so I've thrust a tenner in his hand and begged him to drop by Boots chemists and pick me up a bottle of Covonia cough medicine, which is the rough equvalent of declaring nuclear war on this flu. It is by far the foulest tasting and most powerful cough medicine I know of, the taste is akin to gargling with petrol, but by golly does it work!

Really hoping to get some of that down my neck, sort this damn cough out and hopefully the drowsiness too, get a nap in and then decide whether to head over my parents house today or leave it to tomorrow morning.

My Only Wish This Year

2011-12-24T10:11:00.000Z

Here is the second in my short list of newer Xmas songs that I'm really fond of. I'm not a fan of Britney Spears really, and find the woman's personal life (and her habit of flaunting it and then bemoaning press intrusion into her "private" life) to be quite distasteful and more than a touch hypocritical. That said this is a cracking song, which has some real power behind it.

My Only Wish This Year by Britney Spears

Last night I took a walk in the snow.
Couples holding hands, places to go
Seems like everyone but me is in love.

Santa can you hear me
I signed my letter that I sealed with a kiss
I sent it off
It just said this
I know exactly what I want this year.
Santa can you hear me.
I want my baby (baby, yeah)
I want someone to love me someone to hold me.
Maybe (maybe, maybe maybe.) he'll be all my own in a big red bow

Santa can you hear me?
I have been so good this year and all I want is one thing
Tell me my true love is near
He's all I want, just for me underneath my christmas tree
I'll be waiting here.
Santa thats my only wish this year.
oohhh ohh yeah
Christmas Eve I just can't sleep
Would I be wrong for taking a peek?
Cause I heard that your coming to town

Santa can you hear me? (yea yeah)
Really hope that your on your way
With something special for me in your sleigh
Ohh please make my wish come true
Santa can you hear me
I want my baby (baby)
I want someone to love me someone to hold me
Maybe (maybe maybe) we'll be all the love under the mistletoe

Santa can you hear me
I have been so good this year
And all I want is one thing
Tell me my true love is near
He's all I want just for me
Underneath my christmas tree
I'll be waiting here santa thats my only wish this year
I hope my letter reaches you in time
Bring me love can call all mine
(yeah yeah) cause I have been so good this year.

Can't be alone under the mistletoe
He's all want and a big red bow
Santa can you hear me (hear me?)
I have been so good this year
And all i want is one thing
Tell me my true love is near
He's all I want. just for me
Underneath my christmas tree
I'll be waiting here (ohh yeah) santa thats my only wish this year
Oh santa can u hear me? oh santa
Well hes all I want just for me underneath my Christmas tree
Oh I'll be waiting here
Santa thats my only wish this year.

Painting Update

2011-12-23T15:15:00.000Z

Well my painting proceeds slowly but surely. I have abandoned the attempt to try and get a good score on Cool Mini or Not for this year, took too long a break mid year in painting to be able to catch up and improve my skills enough for that to remain a feasible goal, so that's now one for 2012. I've found that I am very good at starting projects and not so hot on finishing them, however, I now am in the position that I'm running out of room on my painting desk for any new start-up's, so I aim to finish a bunch of figures for my Space Marine Army so as to free up some room, and also because it's looking likely that our group of friends will be getting some games together soon, there's been talk of a league being formed and I'm determined to be able to field a fully painted army right from the start.

Thus far I have finished painting the following:

A 5 man Terminator Squad. Not happy with them as had not really finalised my army colour scheme when I painted them, so they will do, for now, but will be replaced in time.
A 10 man Tactical Squad. Very happy with these.
An Emperor's Champion. Mostly happy with this guy, could have turned out better, but he will suffice. He is going to be one of my Chapter Master's honour guards.

I am in the process of painting the following:

A Techmarine with Servo Harness.
A 10 man Tactical Squad.
A Chapter Master (Pedro Kantor figure) and 2 honour guards.
A Predator Tank.
A Whirlwind Tank.
A Razorback Tank.
A Chaplain in Terminator Armour.
Captain Lysander.

And I have the following to assemble & paint up still:

A 10 man Assault Squad.
A 5 man Scout Squad.
2x 10 man Devastator Squads.
2x Rhino Tanks.
A Razorback Tank.
A Contemptor-pattern Dreadnought.
A Space Marine Attack Bike.
A 6 man Sternguard Veteran Squad.

All in all a pretty formidable force and one I'm hoping will be up to the challenges that will be posed by battling against Tony's Tau, Emil's Ultramarines, Charlie's Dark Eldar, Valda's Ork's, Richie's Eldar, Mike's Tyranids and Lee's Imperial Guards. I'm certainly not going to lack for variety in my opponents!

Scrooge

2011-12-23T14:54:00.002Z

Back when I first started this blog, I marked that December by posting lyrics to my favourite Christmas songs in a series of blog entries. Since then I've heard and grown to love a couple more such songs, so here's one of them, from the amazing movie The Muppet Christmas Carol.

Scrooge by The Muppets

When a cold wind blows it chills you
Chills you to the bone
But there's nothing in nature that freezes your heart
Like years of being alone

It paints you with indifference
Like a lady paints with rouge
And the worst of the worst, the most hated and cursed
Is the one that we call Scrooge
Unkind as any, and the wrath of many
This is Ebenezer Scrooge

Oh, there goes Mr. Humbug
There goes Mr. Grim
If they gave a prize for being mean
The winner would be him
Old Scrooge, he loves his money
Cause he thinks it gives him power
If he became a flavour you can bet he would be sour

There goes Mr. Skinflint
There goes Mr. Greed
The undisputed master of the underhanded deed
He charges folks a fortune for his dark and drafty houses
Us poor folk live in misery
It's even worse for mouses
(Please sir, I want some cheese)

He must be so lonely, he must be so sad
He goes to extremes to convince us he's bad
He's really a victim of fear and of pride
Look close and there must be a sweet man inside
(Nah . . . uh uh)

There goes Mr. Outrage
There goes Mr. Sneer
He has no time for friends or fun
His anger makes that clear
Don't ask him for a favour cause his nastiness increases
No crust of bread for those in need
No cheeses for us meeces

There goes Mr. Heartless
There goes Mr. Cruel
He never gives, he only takes
He lets his anger rule
If being mean's a way of life you practice and rehearse
Then all that work is paying off, cause Scrooge is getting worse
Every day in every way
Scrooge is getting worse

Time For Some Movie Quotes!

2011-12-21T04:24:00.001Z

Not done one of these in ages and there have been lots of good movies released since, so without further ado, here are some of my favourite lines from a few of them:

Conan the Barbarian (2011)

Conan: You have a name?
Tamara: Tamara Amalia Jorvi-Karashan. And yours?
Conan: Conan.
Tamara: [pause] Conan... that's it?
Conan: How many names do I need?

Conan: Run from me... and I will tear apart the mountains to find you! I will follow you to Hell!

Conan: No man should live in chains.

Corin: When a Cimmerian feels thirst, it is a thirst for blood. When he feels cold, it is the cold edge of steel. For the courage of a Cimmerian is tempered: he neither fears death... nor rushes foolishly to meet it. To be a Cimmerian warrior, you must have both cunning and balance as well as speed and strength.

Stardust (2007)

Yvaine: What do stars do? They shine.

Yvaine: You know when I said I knew little about love? That wasn't true. I know a lot about love. I've seen it, centuries and centuries of it, and it was the only thing that made watching your world bearable. All those wars. Pain, lies, hate... It made me want to turn away and never look down again. But when I see the way that mankind loves... You could search to the furthest reaches of the universe and never find anything more beautiful. So yes, I know that love is unconditional. But I also know that it can be unpredictable, unexpected, uncontrollable, unbearable and strangely easy to mistake for loathing, and... What I'm trying to say, Tristan is... I think I love you. Is this love, Tristan? I never imagined I'd know it for myself. My heart... It feels like my chest can barely contain it. Like it's trying to escape because it doesn't belong to me any more. It belongs to you. And if you wanted it, I'd wish for nothing in exchange - no gifts. No goods. No demonstrations of devotion. Nothing but knowing you loved me too. Just your heart, in exchange for mine.

[to Ditchwater Sal after she has turned Tristan into a mouse]
Yvaine: Would I be correct in thinking that you can neither see nor hear me? Then I'd like to tell you that you smell of pee. You look like the wrong end of a dog. And I swear, if I don't get my Tristan back as he was, I'll be your personal poltergeist!

[Shakespeare and his men are selling collected lightning bolts to Ferdy, their fence]
Captain Shakespeare: So! Name your best price.
Ferdy the Fence: For 10,000 bolts?
Captain Shakespeare: 10,000 bolts of finest quality Grade A.
Ferdy the Fence: Yeah, but it's difficult to shift, isn't it? Difficult to store. If I get the revenue man in here sniffing around. Uhmmm... Best price: 150 Guineas.
Captain Shakespeare: [to his crew] Gentlemen, put the merchandise back on board and prepare to sail.
Ferdy the Fence: Whoa, whoa! Hold on. Hold on. One minute, Cuddles. 160? 160.
Captain Shakespeare: Seeing as I'm feeling particularly generous today, I'll settle for 200.
Ferdy the Fence: 200? Okay, you're having a laugh.
[Ferdy laughs]
Ferdy the Fence: Have you had your head in that? Has he been staying up where the air's too thin?
Captain Shakespeare: [darkly] You're being very rude.
Ferdy the Fence: Not any more.
Captain Shakespeare: 200.
Ferdy the Fence: 180.
Captain Shakespeare: 200.
Ferdy the Fence: That's not negotiation! I'm changing my number! 185.
Captain Shakespeare: Did I hear 200?
Ferdy the Fence: From you, you did. Yeah.
Captain Shakespeare: You said 200?
Ferdy the Fence: If I did, you're a ventriloquist. Okay, 195. Final offer.
Captain Shakespeare: 195 it is.
[they shake hands to seal the deal]
Captain Shakespeare: So, with sales tax, that's... let's see... 200.
Ferdy the Fence: [resignedly] Brilliant. Put it in the back.

Thor (2011)

Agent Coulson: [interrogating Thor] It's not easy to do what you did. You made my men, some of the most highly trained professionals in the world look like a bunch of minimum-wage mall cops. In my experience, it takes someone who's received similar training to do what you did to them. Why don't you tell me where you received that training? Afghanistan, Chechnya? No, you strike me more as the soldier of fortune type. Who are you?

Agent Cale: [staring at The Destroyer] Is that one of Stark's?
Agent Coulson: I don't know. Guy never tells me anything.

Thor: This mortal form grows weak. I require sustenance!

Thor: Once I retrieve Mjolnir, I will return to you the items they stole from you. Deal?
Jane Foster: No. You think you're gonna just walk in and walk out ?
Thor: No. I'm gonna fly out.

Clint Barton: Do you want me to take him down or would you rather send in more guys for him to beat up?

Thor: [walking into a pet shop] I need a horse!
Pet Store Clerk: We don't have horses. Just dogs, cats, birds.
Thor: Then give me one of those large enough to ride.

Clint Barton: You better call it Coulson, cause I'm starting to root for this guy.

[Thor approaches the Destroyer]
Thor: Brother, forgive me for whatever wrong I did to you. But these people are innocent, taking their lives will gain you nothing. So take mine.

Jane Foster: So is this how you normally look?
Thor: More or less.
Jane Foster: It's a good look!

Unemployed

2011-10-04T00:54:00.001Z

So I got sacked from my job in the supermarket last on Friday... I knew it was coming. I suffer with migraines and now and then they cause me to have to take a day off work sick to deal with them. Rarely am I off work longer than a day, sometimes two. But the days still add up. The company had policy of 4% sickness over a rolling 12 month period. My sickness rate went over that and the disciplinary track began. First came a verbal warning, then a written one and then a final written one. The final written got reissued too, but when I got the migraine 1.5 weeks ago on the Wednesday night and it kept me awake all night, unable to sleep, well I had a lot of time to think (even though thinking hurt).

I phoned in sick on the Thursday morning and spent the day mostly asleep, eating next to nothing because I had no appetite, my migraines are probably the only thing that robs me of my appetite. I drank water, took painkillers and slept and I thought I had it beaten. So much so that I was in work on the Friday morning. The migraine had become merely a mild headache and I felt safe to go to work. I was wrong. It came back with a vengeance and I was sick in the customer mens toilets and was then sent home. I didn't return to work until the Wednesday as I spent Saturday off ill recuperating, and Sunday-Tuesday were my days off anyway.

When I returned to work I knew I would have a back to work chat with one of the managers. I knew at it they would issue me with a summons to a disciplinary hearing which I had figured would be on the Friday. It was. Friday 30th September at 12:00 noon. I took my good friend and work colleague Richard Adams along as my witness, even though I knew what was most likely going to happen and didn't really want a witness there for it. Still considering how long the interval in the hearing was while the Store Manager and Personnel Manager adjorned to decide what to do, I was very glad to have him there to talk too.

I was told that I was being dismissed (which I had expected, so much so that I'd cleared out my locker the day before). At the time of my dismissal against a company policy of 4%, my sickness for the 12 month stood at 5.28%. I said a few goodbyes as I made my way out of the store, but only a few. Some weren't in that day, some were and I couldn't find them. I made my way home and resolved to take the weekend off work and start looking afresh on Monday.

I didn't go looking on Monday. I spent most of the day filling out the Jobseeker's Allowance forms on the internet instead and then I ran my weekly Pathfinder RPG game in the evening, followed by the urge to write this. From somewhere now I need to find it within myself to motivate myself, something I've struggled to do for ohh so long. I have brains, I have the ability to use them, I'm just extremely bad at caring enough about myself to want to do so. I'd move mountains if I could to help others, but I have nothing but contempt and loathing for myself.

A Goal...

2011-03-31T00:07:00.001Z

It's always important to have one, else what do you have to strive towards?

With that in mind I've set myself a goal with regards to my painting skills. My favourite miniature painter is a Russian lady by the name of Natalya Melnik, who goes by the handle of Alexi Z online. She has many figures listed on Cool Mini Or Not (and many more that are just as impressive on her homepage). Her highest rated figure is a lofty 9.8 out of 10. My highest rated figure is a palty 4.4 by comparison.

It would be an utterly insane and impossible challenge to equal her best by years end, so instead I'm setting myself the target to equal her worst score which is a 6.7. She got this score incidentally for the first figure she ever painted! Whether the figure in question deserves a 6.7 rating is doubtful to my thinking, I'd rate it a 5.5 myself, but that is it's score and so that is my challenge.

Stocking Up

2011-03-25T23:29:00.002Z

Since I got back into painting a couple months back, I've been slowly but surely updating my set up for it. I used to paint on a fold-up dining table which was a bit wobbly and hardly ideal. That is now down in the lounge and I've replaced it with a rather more sturdy wooden table that I bought at the British Heart Foundation's furniture shop, and then enlisted Tony's help to carry it the short distance back to the house. That was the easy part really compared to the far larger task of sorting out my paints & tools.

I use paints by Games Workshop as they are the most readily availiable to me (Krackers Games Store that sell them is only a 3 min walk from my house after all). They are not the best paints, and most of the best painters whose work I admire, use other ranges such as those by Vallejo or Reaper instead. Maybe someday I'll consider such a change myself, but for the time being at least GW's range suits me fine.

Back when I began painting at the tender age of 12, GW used to sell their paints in themed box sets. Each box had 9 different paints in and the boxes were named for the figures they were best designed for (Colour being the basic set and then from there, there were others like Monster, Creature, Space Marine, Metallics etc etc). They were good paints, and each time I'd lose interest in painting I'd pack them away and keep them safe until whenever my interest returned and I'd unpack them and they'd be used again. As time went by though, they got thicker and thicker and one by one they turned solid and became useless.

This time when I set about unpacking them again, I stopped and instead made myself go through every box, testing each and every paint in them and I finally binned all the useless ones, destroying the old boxes as each was emptied. I was able to keep a fairly impressive number of paints, many of which are long since unavaliable such as the metallic blue, green and purple paints I have, and the shocking pink. But my collection is left with some pretty massive gaps in it too and so each pay day I've been getting a few more paints to fill out the range. Today I added Bronze, a dark shade of Gold, a dark Flesh and a black wash to my growing collection to plug gaps that I've noticed over the past couple weeks whilst painting the figures I'm currently working on.

I've also had to take a look at the tools I use. I know now that I need a new set of paintbrushes as the ones I have are cheap and don't hold a good point (the tip always curves into a claw, which while sometimes useful is annoying too). My modelling knife needs replacing and if I don't want my table top getting scored up I need a decent cutting mat too. The biggest issue that I've found I need to resolve though is lighting, and for that I'm going to need to go hunt for a good angle-poise light, as the light from my rooms central bulb is simply not sufficient, and I refuse to allow my painting times to be dictated to me by the hours of daylight.

I've also bought a supply of materials to decorate the bases of my figures, namely a couple types of sand, small pebbles and clumps of fake grass. I'm a long way from being able to craft some of truly stunning bases I've seen made for miniatures on Cool Mini Or Not, but even these basic materials will be a great leap forward from simply coating the base with green paint and dipping it in flock as I've always done in the past.

Sticking My Neck Out

2011-03-22T18:21:00.000Z

Anyone who knows me well will know that I'm not one for drawing attention to myself. I'm a definate introvert and am usually the guy sat in a corner being quiet at parties etc. At work I like to just be able to get on with it and not have to answer questions about what I'm doing and why (which is why I adore my co-worker Becky as she's brilliant at handling all of that sort of thing, leaving me to just get on and make cakes in peace). But there is this teeny tiny bit of me that craves a bit of praise. Not much. I'm not greedy, a "Well done" once in a while goes a very long way with me.

So with that in mind I've taken the step of posting pictures of some of the miniatures I've painted in the past, and will post more of the ones I'm working on now once I have them done. I have posted these up on Facebook for my friends to see, and also on a new account I've made on Cool Mini Or Not for everyone in the world to take a look at them, rate them and comment on them. I am looking forward to their criticism and comments, as I want to improve at this hobby and part of that development is taking on board ideas and techniques from my peers.

If you wish to have a look at my work and rate it, then have a look here. My username there is Mr.Flibble. I'd ask you to be kind in whatever you choose to write/rate them as, but thats not really what I'm aiming for by doing this, so instead I'll ask you to be honest. Flattery won't help me to get better after all.

Phew... Done At Last

2011-03-20T01:09:00.000Z

Tagging every post I've written in the past 6 years or thereabouts that I've been writing this blog on and off took a lot longer than I thought it would. Still, all done now, so you can now look through the blog archive much easier than before. Bedtime for me now as I have work in about 6 hours time.

A Whole New Look

2011-03-19T00:26:00.002Z

So I thought that since I was gonna have a go at this blogging lark again, it was about time I gave this place a bit of a spruce up, as after 6 years it was looking kinda dated. So I picked out this rather nifty looking template from the selection that blogger offer, customised it a bit by adding in my links, and moving things about and this is what I've ended up with thus far.

I'll likely tweak it a bit more until I'm happy with it. I'd like to put the nice header pic I had on the old blog on this one, might get it tarted up a bit first though, maybe add a decorative edge to it or something. I am pleased to be able to have the section of Tags though, which will make navigating around this blogs archive a lot easier... or at least it will once I've finished tagging all the posts in the archive anyway!

Painting

2011-03-17T15:56:00.003Z

So... what to write about... I'll start I guess with what has consumed much of my time of late and that's painting. Painting minature figures that is, not painting on canvas or any such related forms of art for which I entirely lack the skillsets required. I've painted before, a fair few times now in fact, only to eventually lose interest or have something come up and it all get packed away again and not see daylight then for months or even years afterwards.

I started painting figures back when I was about 12 years old and a friend of mine called Ashley introduced me to a board game called Blood Bowl. He also intrioduced me to Dungeons & Dragons too, so he has quite a lot to answer for considering the geek I turned out to be! Getting back to the subject at hand, Blood Bowl is a fantasy version of american football with a lot more violence (it ain't called Blood Bowl for nothing!), played with teams of figures. As the rulebooks showed nicely painted up versions of these figures, I was soon buying a set of paints, a couple brushes and having a go myself.

I was also interested in a another board game called Advanced Heroquest, which too featured miniature figures and so they too went under the brush for some added colour. This led to my interest in the tabletop wargame Warhammer Fantasy Battle (WFB), where instead of a few figures, you assembled and painted whole armies of them! I can remember collecting a sizeable army of Dwarf's and then later a smaller force of Undead. For another such game (Epic 40,000) I collected a huge Chaos force complete with Titan's (massive towering war machines). I later either sold (Dwarfs & Undead) or lost (Epic Chaos) these armies and my interest waned and eventually died off. I never lost interest in the games exactly, just in the painting side of it.

Fast forward a few years and a new edition of Blood Bowl came out and a league was started at the local Games Club and so I got back into it, painting up my beloved Chaos All Star team (which I still own). I also started on a Chaos army for WFB but never got that far on it, and most of the figures remain unpainted to this day in their boxes atop my bookcases. Over the next few years I'd regain interest for a months or two and then it would fade away. I painted up numerous character models for D&D in this time, and started work on a massive project to build a Tarrasque for D&D (which was never finished and eventually binned). Then a few years back I packed it all up and put it away. I was tempted now and then to take it up again over the years but never did so, until recently.

See a couple of my friends mentioned that they were getting in to Warhammer 40,000, a sci-fi version of WFB and a game I'd long wanted to try but had always shied away from for various reasons. But I was tempted to try again, so I took the plunge. I bought myself a decent desk this time to paint at (an old wooden kitchen table, a steal for just £40), some new paints and brushes, sorted through all the old paints I still had and binned any that were no longer useable, keeping those that were (a surprisingly large number including some awesome paints such as metallic blue, green & purple and also truly shocking shade of pink).

I also decided on an army and forked out for a fair number of figures and sets (getting double the number due to a fortunate mix up in the mail!) for a Space Marine army. I've settled on the Imperial Fists as my chapter as they both look good in their yellow and red armor and their backstory and such rocks. When I have photos of finished models I'll post them on the blog.

In addition to them I've gone through my stock of unpainted figures and dragged a few out into the light of day to have a go at, as I enjoy painting characters and individuals far more than units of troops.

Tweaking

2011-03-08T23:50:00.001Z

As a start I've updated the list of links on the sidebar, many of which were horribly out of date. They should all work now and are once again relevant to my current interests.

Hmmm...

2011-03-08T23:32:00.002Z

Been a while since I posted anything on here and for the life of me I can't think why I lost interest in this site. Not sure what I'll post here but I'd rather not leave this field fallow any longer.

An Accurate Horoscope

2010-06-29T17:42:00.003Z

Just found this Horoscope for Capricorn and I was genuinely surprised to see just how much of it is true regarding me. I've posted it in it's entirety here for posteritys sake:

Capricorn

Capricorn is like a red wine, growing older, may greatly improve himself, becoming more relaxed and less reserved. Love horoscope Capricorn foresees some communicational problems in youth. He is distant with people and resists the infatuation, as he is afraid to loose the devoted person and to suffer. His instincts are not revealed for a long time. In fact, he is satisfied with minimum of pleasure, because wants minimum of pain. But a mask of ice indifference may conceal the strongest passion, which is restrained in order to be free from dangerous feelings. Love horoscope Capricorn predicts frustrations of any kind as a result of such behavior.

Some will try to fill emptiness inside, willing to gain power, or entertain themselves by collecting different things. Others become silent and may have serious nervous problems in a desert of egoism and avarice.

Capricorn may resign himself to such a fate, living unhappily in solitude, as though indifference was a natural human state, or claim his loneliness to be a poof of his virtue and conceal dogmatism and acrimony under cover of false kindness.

Capricorn may suffer from some painful events, happened in the past. He refuses to forget a betrayal. Love horoscope Capricorn describes this sign as faithful, loyal, living a very vulnerable life.

Capricorn may live a lonely life, without love, for a long time, up to 40-50 years. Then, he opens his mind to all that he rejected in the past. He begins to live a new exciting life.

Love horoscope Capricorn singles out that there are two extremes of this sign: fury and reserve, indifference and wild jealousy, self-denial and frivolity, shyness and striking pornography.

Many men hate women and remain old bachelors. If they look at a woman, they seek honesty, reliability; usually find their soul mates among the colleagues. A Capricorn man prefers a woman older than he, with stable financial status, not capricious, some one who is calm, who is able to keep an order and don't spend much. Capricorn doesn't permit scandals and quarrels to ruin his life, never get divorced. A wife will never get to know about his secret romance. But there is no better partner in an old age as he.

A Capricorn woman may be very brutal. She hates the role of a housewife, she prefers to build a successful career and to be independent than to fall in love with a handsome guy. She is not likely to give herself for the passion, gets married to improve her financial or social situation.

Love horoscope Capricorn mentions that some women pretend to be a 'Cinderella'; they want to be loved as they find themselves attractive.

But a Capricorn woman may also be a quiet and tender wife.

If a lover-Capricorn is not successful, he or she is most probable to become reconciled to it. Remote instincts are his secret weapon. Love horoscope Capricorn states he suffers less than other signs.

In emotional communication Capricorn should look for Taurus, Virgo and Scorpio. A partnership with Scorpio is especially favorable. You should avoid Gemini and Cancer.

This Ole House

2009-05-26T19:51:00.001Z

No special memories to relate regarding this particular song, it's just that I've had it stuck in my head for days now. Perhaps (hopefully) by posting its lyrics here, I can exorcise it from my brain... worth a try at least. I mean I do like this song, it's fast and fun and good to dance too, but I can do without the lyrics going around and around in my mind.

This Ole House by Shakin' Stevens

This ole house once knew his children
This ole house once knew a wife
This ole house was home and comfort
As we fought the storms of life
This old house once rang with laughter
This old house heard many shouts
Now she trembles in the darkness
When the lightnin' walks about

(Ain't a-gonna need this house no longer)
(Ain't a-gonna need this house no more)
Ain't got time to fix the shingles
Ain't a-got time to fix the floor
Ain't got time to oil the hinges
Nor to mend no windowpane
Ain't a-gonna need this house no longer
She's a-gettin' ready to meet the saints

This ole house is gettin' shaky
This ole house is gettin' old
This ole house lets in the rain
This ole house lets in the cold
On my knees I'm gettin' chilly
But I feel no fear nor pain
'Cause I see an angel peekin'
Through the broken windowpane

(Ain't a-gonna need this house no longer)
(Ain't a-gonna need this house no more)
Ain't got time to fix the shingles
Ain't a-got time to fix the floor
Ain't got time to oil the hinges
Nor to mend no windowpane
Ain't a-gonna need this house no longer
She's a-gettin' ready to meet the saints

This ole house is afraid of thunder
This ole house is afraid of storms
This ole house just groans and trembles
When the night wind flings out its arms
This ole house is gettin' feeble
This old house is needin' paint
Just like me it's tuckered out
But I'm a-gettin' ready to meet the saints

(Ain't a-gonna need this house no longer)
(Ain't a-gonna need this house no more)
Ain't got time to fix the shingles
Ain't got time to fix the floor
Ain't got time to oil the hinges
Nor to mend no windowpane
Ain't a-gonna need this house no longer
She's a-gettin' ready to meet the saints

(Ain't a-gonna need this house no longer)
(Ain't a-gonna need this house no more)
Ain't got time to fix the shingles
Ain't got time to fix the floor
Ain't got time to oil the hinges
Nor to mend no windowpane
Ain't a-gonna need this house no longer
She's a-gettin' ready to meet the saints

Thank You For Hearing Me

2009-04-11T20:19:00.002Z

Song lyric time. I like this song and I'm not really sure why. I don't really like anything else that Sinead O' Connor has done apart from Nothing Compares To You, and this song is nothing like that one. I think maybe it is the profound sense of hope in the lyrics, that the singer is grateful for the experience of a love lost, even though it devastated her when it was over, because she is a stronger person for that experience. It harks back to the old adage that "whatever doesn't kill you, only makes you stronger". Yes I think that might well be what I love about this song.

Thank You For Hearing Me by Sinead O' Connor

Thank you for hearing me
Thank you for hearing me
Thank you for hearing me
Thank you for hearing me

Thank you for loving me
Thank you for loving me
Thank you for loving me
Thank you for loving me

Thank you for seeing me
Thank you for seeing me
Thank you for seeing me
Thank you for seeing me

And for not leaving me
And for not leaving me
And for not leaving me
And for not leaving me

Thank you for staying with me
Thank you for staying with me
Thank you for staying with me
Thank you for staying with me

Thanks for not hurting me
Thanks for not hurting me
Thanks for not hurting me
Thanks for not hurting me

You are gentle with me
You are gentle with me
You are gentle with me
You are gentle with me

Thanks for silence with me
Thanks for silence with me
Thanks for silence with me
Thanks for silence with me

Thank you for holding me
And saying "I could be"
Thank you for saying "Baby"
Thank you for holding me

Thank you for helping me
Thank you for helping me
Thank you for helping me
Thank you, thank you for helping me

Thank you for breaking my heart
Thank you for tearing me apart
Now I've a strong, strong heart
Thank you for breaking my heart

The Death Of Common Sense

2009-03-24T17:28:00.003Z

This is an Obituary which was printed in the London Times. I find it to be interesting and sadly rather true of the times we live in.

'Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:

Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouth wash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.

It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an Aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realise that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement .

Common Sense was preceded in death, by his parents, Truth and Trust

His wife, Discretion, his daughter, Responsibility, his son, Reason

He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights

I Want It Now; Someone Else Is To Blame; I'm A Victim

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.

Still Never Been Kissed

2009-01-27T23:12:00.004Z

This is an updated version of the entry "Never Been Kissed", as I felt it useful to post a more current version of that confessional entry.

The title refers to, well probably my worst kept secret. I just turned thirty three years old on January 16th. And I've never been kissed. Okay that's not strictly true, I mean my Mum's kissed me, relatives have kissed me, heck a bully named Steven Woodland at school kissed me, simply to get a laugh from everyone else. But a romantic kiss? A passionate kiss? A drunken "You'll do, c'mere" kiss? None of the above. Not even a good luck kiss, a Happy New Year kiss, or a "Ohhh mistletoe" kiss.

Is that a great secret? Maybe, maybe not. So lets not stop there, while I'm baring my soul, let's go for broke. It really isn't that big a step anyway. I mean it doesn't take a genius to figure out that if I've never kissed a girl... I've never gotten any further with one either. So I'm the V word. In a purity test I normally rate in the high 90's percentage wise.

So do I feel like less of a man because I've not scored, pulled, carved a notch in a bedpost etc? I'm honestly not sure. I know back when I was in University in my early twenties, then yeah, I regarded still being a virgin as this great failing on my part. But now?

I think part of the reason why I don't feel that way anymore, is that I have nothing to compare the experience too. If I'd had the kissing, the hugs, the cuddles etc then yeah, I'd be stoked for what comes next. But I've never had any of that, the best time I've ever had with a woman, was a couple hours spent snuggled up on the sofa with my ex-girlfriend Dana watching cartoons. And as much as I'm curious as to what a kiss is like, I'm scared too. Women can be a pretty unforgiving lot, us blokes don't often get a second chance to impress, and being labelled a bad kisser (or bad in bed) is a hard tag to get past for even a young guy.

I'm getting older and I'm not getting any better looking (at least I don't think so anyway). Perhaps on some cosmic level it all makes sense. I mean all things have an equal and opposite according to Newton's Law anyway. So for all those guys out there who ooze charisma and have women throwing themselves (and various items of their clothing) at them, I guess there have to exist guys like me to balance things out.

This is not to say that I am happy being one of these cosmic balancing acts. Being the nice guy who always finishes last frankly sucks. But try as I might to change things and improve my lot in life, it just never works out. Life it seems has a role for me to play and no matter what I do, it seems that I'm doomed to fill it. Were it not for a promise I stupidly made years ago I would have killed myself by now. I certainly tried a few times to do just that before making it.

More than anything in the world I want someone to share life with, a partner to live, laugh and love with. And I'm so fucking sick and tired of the platitudes people spout to try and cheer me up. Bullshit like "It'll happen when you least expect it" and "There's someone out there for you". Three times now I've fallen in love. Three times now I've had my heart broken.

There is a limit to how much pain anyone can take and I'm at my limit. I can't take the pain, the misery, and most of all the crushing loneliness anymore. I want out. And every day that goes by, that promise holds less and less hold over me. I've never broken my word if it is freely given... first time for everything!

A Letter From Mrs. Mugabe

2009-01-15T20:17:00.003Z

I've not posted on my blog in a few months now, because nothing much has happened really. Fell for a girl, she wasn't into me, got a bit older, kinda tidied up by debts and frankly that's about it. Ohh and I got a Wii for Xmas which is pretty good fun. However today this letter arrived in my junk mail folder and I just had to post it. Yes it is another scam, but it's really quite an inventive one. Actually I'd love it if this wasn't a scam and was a genuine plea for aid by the real Mrs Mugabe, because if so it would be great if her evil husbands minions found this post and she got caught. I have no sympathy for a woman who is happy to waste millions on designer clothes while her country starves to death and suffers an epidemic outbreak of cholera.

Below, in full, unedited, is the letter I received:

Good day,

I know that this mail might come to you as a surprise as we have not met before,My name is Mrs. Grace Mugabe, the wife of Mr. Robert Mugabe the president of Zimbabwe i got your contact through Zimbabwe chambers of commerce and industry. Our country is currently facing international sanction all over the world and my effort to so speak peace into my husband(President Robert Mugabe) prove abortive because he already have a wrong notion towards the western nations intention over his removal plan and his state when he lives office.

As you know the country(Zimbabwe) is presently facing a strong epidemic and a high inflation and the pressure from the international communities to bring to bring down the regime of my husband(president Robert Mugabe) is a sure reality and when this happens i and my children might also go down with him.As the first lady of our country i have been able to use my position to raise some money from contracts which i deposited with a European diplomatic security company the sum of US$35M(Thirty Five Million US Dollars) knowing fully that our government will soon be brought down by international communities as Africa Union are beginning to take side with the international communities because of the manner at which things are degenerating in Zimbabwe.

I contacting you because I want you to go to the security company and claim the money on my behalf since I have declared that the consignment belong to my foreign business partner. You shall also be required to assist me in investment in your country.

I hope to trust you as a God fearing person who will not sit on this money when you claim it, rather assist me properly, I expect you to declare what percentage of the total money you will take for your assistance. When I receive your positive response I will let you know where the security company is,the requirement and the payment pin code to claim the money which is very important.

I shall keep you updated and also instruct one of my loyalist to always keep you updated whenever my schedule is tight as i don't want my husband to know about this deposit and my proposal because my life might be in danger as you all know his kind of person.All this i am doing to assist my children as i know very soon when our regime is brought down our entire property will be confiscated along.I ask you to also pray for me to survive the internal threat i am experiencing from my husband President Robert Mugabe because as i am sending you this urgent proposal tears flow from my eyes as i am living with a human monster.

For now, let all our communication be by e-mail because My husband security network is monitoring all activities sparing no body including my humble self his wife and other family member as he do not trust any one especially this period.

Thank you and God bless you and family and please contact me through this email. Private email: gracmugabe@aol.com

MRS. GRACE MUGABE.

Another Day, Another Scam

2008-10-12T19:22:00.003Z

This one is pretty typical really and to be honest the only reason I'm even posting it on here, is because it specifically asks me to keep the mail confidential. I see no reason to help a con artist out, so here's the phishing email I got in my Junk Mail folder today:

Attention,

I do apologise for intruding into your privacy, do kindly permit me to introduce myself. I am Ejner Andersen, a staff with Rand Merchant Bank (RMB) South Africa. I have taken time out to source the right individual, which is your humble self. I possess valuable and classified information of great interest which i wish to share with you.

I also need to ascertain your dispositions towards receiving and utilising information from me that guarantees you being legally acknowledged as the sole surviving relative of an investor (name with-held) who died in Korean Air Line, flight number801 on 6th of August 1997 without naming a next of kin to his fund in my bank. And for your perusal you can view this site:
http://www.cnn.com/WORLD/9708/06/guam.passenger.list

I would want you to understand that this is a DEAL.

I have all the legal and banking details of the deceased client that will facilitate putting you forward as the claimant/beneficiary of the funds and ultimately transfer of the Inheritance.

Consequently, my proposal is that i will like you as a Foreigner to stand in as the next of kin of the funds deposited in my bank. I am writing you because since am a public servant, i cannot operate a foreign account.

Contact me with your full legal names and contact telephone number for further verbal correspondence.

You must maintain a great deal of confidentiality towards this endeavour.

I await your urgent response.

Thanks and my regards.
Mr.Ejner Andersen

NOTE: If however, you are not disposed to assist, kindly delete/destroy this email in view of the confidentiality of the proposed transaction and interest of personalities involved.

The Living Daylights

2008-09-25T09:09:00.003Z

While there are 21 (soon to be 22) James Bond movies of the official series (the number rises to 24/25 if you count in the unofficial movies of Never Say Never Again and the original Casino Royale), my favourite would have to be the 1st of Timothy Dalton's two outings as 007. Not just for the plot, which while convoluted (and not helped by the slightly comedic villains) is still quite a believeable premise, but also for Dalton's hard edged take on Bond himself, which would only be bettered by Daniel Craig's version years later. Of course another good reason for my love of the film is the awesome theme song by A-ha, one of my favourite of all the many Bond theme songs (and there are so many to choose from!).

The Living Daylights by A-ha

Hey driver, where're we going?
I swear my nerves are showing

Set my hopes up way too high
living's in the way we die.

Comes the morning and the headlights fade in rain

Of hundred thousand people
I'm the one they frame.
I've been waiting long for one of us to say:
Save the darkness
let it never fade away -
In the living daylights
in the living daylights.

Alright
hold on tight now
it's down
down to the wire

Set your hopes up way too high
living's in the way we die.

Comes the morning and the headlights fade away

Hundred thousand changes
everything's the same.
I've been waiting long for one of us to say:
Save the darkness
let it never fade away -
In the living daylights
living daylights
living daylights.

Comes the morning and the headlights fade away

Hundred thousand people
I'm the one they frame
In the living daylights
in the living daylights.

Living daylights
- set your hopes up way too high
Living daylights
- living's in the way we die -
Living daylights
- set your hopes up way too high -
Living daylights
- living's in the way we die -

A Royal Flush?

2008-08-12T21:02:00.002Z

Another day, another con trick arrives in my email. I've not posted one for a while as after a while they all tend to read very much the same as each other. This one though is inventive and I thought it worth adding to my online collection of pathetic scams. Have a read of this:

Hello,
I beleive i can call you friend. I am Prince Jefri Bolkiah of Brunei.I am the youngest of the Sultan's three brothers.But its like a joke being called a prince. The Bruneian royal family have turned me into an out cast. I am presently on exile in London.

My Brother the Sultan of Brunei masterminded and initiated much evil against me.He envied me as a person,he envied my life style,he was intimidated by my way of life,and thus plotted with his infidel advisers to get me arrested for noting. He leveled all forms of corruption allegations against me. He accused me of taking US$40 billion of the royal treasury's money. He labelled me a criminal and ordered for my arrest. My Brother the Sultan of Brunei did this to me his younger brother.

Yes i agree that I spent Money, but I am bewildered by the accusation that i misspent $40 billion. It's not that easy to hide, I keep asking the lawyers, Where did it go?. I have already turned over billions of dollars worth of property, including the Plaza Athénée hotel in Paris,The New York Palace Hotel, the giant yacht, the car collection, and more than 100 paintings by Picasso, Renoir, Modigliani and others. Late last year, I surrendered five rare diamonds, secured in a London vault, valued at roughly $200 million.

My Brother the Sultan, Hassanal Bolkiah, has ruled since 1967.He is the world's wealthiest ruler, with an estimated fortune of $22 billion. DESPITE HIS WEALTH, he still feels intimidated by my little Money.
I have turned over the various assets, but my brother the Sultan will not let me keep enough money to maintain a more modest version of my prior lifestyle. Now the Sultan's advisers have started legal proceedings to evict me from my London mansion. We don't know where we are going to live. They want me to give it all back, now i am worried that i may soon be homeless and forced into bankruptcy.

While in Brunei,my favorite car to drive was a Ferrari 550, a sleek sports coupe that i used to take for a spin late at night when the roads were quiet. Now, I like the Mini. I drive a black small mini around London. I am been watched by private detectives employed by my Brother the Sultan.He wants to ruin me,but he cannot.

My friend, i dont know you, but from my little snooping into your profile, i strongly feel you can be of help to me.I want you to take me as a friend in need and do something for me that will also benefit you. Right now i cannot trust any body close to me.I have been betrayed by my friends and family and I am tired of talking to lawyers. I prefer to take the Risk of solicitng the assistance of a stranger. You may think i am going crazy,but i am very sane.

I still have billions of dollars safe and secure in safe countries, but i cannot touch these funds hence they are discovered by my King Brother watching my every move like a Hawk. I need you to assist me in these financial steps of securing my entitlements. You will benefit immensely from these finanacial exercise.

I am an easy going gentleman, so please be rest assured that my business relationship with you will be very sincere and the friendship will extend to our childrens.

Yours Sincerely,
Prince Jefri Bolkiah.

A Charitable Con Trick

2008-06-21T15:29:00.004Z

This is a new scam, well at least it is new to me anyway as I've certainly never before encountered a phishing scam email quite like this one. Myself, Gareth and Tony did get a good laugh out of reading it though. As always I have posted it exactly as I received it, typos and all. Enjoy!

Greetings,

As you read this, don't feel sorry for me, because it is the destiny of every Human being to die someday. I am Mr. Nabil Malik a naturalised Briton by birth and a business merchant presently undergoing treatment in Gibraltar.I have been diagnosed with Oesophageal cancer.

It has defiled all forms of medical treatment, and right now I have only about a few months to live, according to medical Reports. I regret that I have not particularly lived my life so well, as I never really cared for anyone (not even myself), but my trade. Though I am very well to do, I was never open handed; I was always hostile to people and regarded them like they never had hopes of becoming as successful as myself. Now I know that there is a lot more to life than just prosperity.

I believe that when I am given a second chance to come to this world, I would live my life a different way from how I have lived it. Now that death is eminent, I have willed and given most of my belonging to immediate and extended family members, as well as a few close friends. I want Allah to be merciful to me and accept my soul. Hence I have decided to support charity work; this is what i want to be remembered for. So far, I have been able to reach out to a few charity organizations in the Singapore, Algeria and Malaysia. Now that my health has deteriorated so badly, I cannot do this myself anymore.

I once asked members of my family to aid me in giving of alms to those organizations catering for the less Privileged in Bulgaria and Pakistan; they refused and kept the resources to themselves. Hence, I do not trust them anymore, as they seem not to be contented with what I have left for them.

The last of my belonging which no Relative knows of,is the deposit of Eight Million US dollars (US$8,000,000.00) that I have in a safe Deposit company abroad, which I will want you to secure and bestow to charity organizations.

Please endeavour to reply me via email.For your time and devotion, I have set aside a tenth of this for you.May the good lord be with you.

Mr. Nabil Malik

A New Scam

2008-05-25T22:22:00.003Z

Well new to me anyway as I've not previously had a scam email quite like this one arrive in my mailbox. It is still very obviously a scam though and clearly written ages ago (with a small update to try and keep it modern). As always when I post one of these, I post it exactly as I received it, complete with typo's and all. Check this out:

From:Mr Dennis BrokmanRE: YOUR PAYMENT NOTIFICATION
Remittance Manager
NATWEST BANK PLC
Phone Number:+44-7024013922
Email: atm.manager@gmail.com
www.natwest.com

Attention:Beneficiary
This is to officially inform you that we have verified your contract
file presently on my desk, and I found out that you have not received
your payment due to your lack of co-operation and not fulfilling the
obligations giving to you in respect to your contract payment.
Secondly, you
are hereby advised to stop dealing with some non-officials in the bank
as this is an illegal act and will have to stop if you so wish to
receive your payment immediately.After the board meeting held at our
headquarters, we have resolved in finding a solution to your problem,
and as
you may know, we have arranged your payment through our SWIFT CARD
PAYMENT CENTER in Europe, America,Africa and Asia Pacific, which is
the
instruction given by our Prime Minister, Tony Blair of United Kingdom.
And
this instruction is still ask to be carried out by the new Prime
Minister of the United Kingdom of Great Britain Dr James Gordon Brown
MP
This card center will send you an ATM CARD which you will use to
withdraw
your money in any ATM MACHINE in any part of the world, But the
maximum
is ($21,000.00) Thousand Us Dollars per Limit. So, if you like to
receive your fund this way

(1) Full Name as wanted on Card
(2) Address where you want the payment center to send your
ATM CARD.(NO P O BOX)
(3) Phone And Fax Number
(4) Date Of Birth
(5) Occupation

SEND THE ABOVE INFORMATION TO : atm.manager@gmail.com

We shall be expecting to receive your information you have stop any
further communication with anybody or office. On this regards, do not
hesitate to contact me for more details and direction, and also please
do
update me with any new development.

Thanks for your co-operation.
Best Regards,
Mr Dennis Brokman
Remittance Manager
NATWEST BANK PLC

Note: Because of impostors, we hereby issue you with a private code for security, Your code shall be (CARD 4654:2008) Make this code your reference number when contacting us.Failure to do so might cause delay in getting back to you.

What's really funny about this is that I'm not even with Natwest Bank!

What D&D Character Am I?

2008-03-21T09:00:00.001Z

I Am A: True Neutral Human Sorcerer/Rogue (2nd/2nd Level)

Ability Scores:

Strength-13

Dexterity-10

Constitution-11

Intelligence-13

Wisdom-13

Charisma-11

Alignment:
True Neutral A true neutral character does what seems to be a good idea. He doesn't feel strongly one way or the other when it comes to good vs. evil or law vs. chaos. Most true neutral characters exhibit a lack of conviction or bias rather than a commitment to neutrality. Such a character thinks of good as better than evil after all, he would rather have good neighbors and rulers than evil ones. Still, he's not personally committed to upholding good in any abstract or universal way. Some true neutral characters, on the other hand, commit themselves philosophically to neutrality. They see good, evil, law, and chaos as prejudices and dangerous extremes. They advocate the middle way of neutrality as the best, most balanced road in the long run. True neutral is the best alignment you can be because it means you act naturally, without prejudice or compulsion. However, true neutral can be a dangerous alignment because it represents apathy, indifference, and a lack of conviction.

Race:
Humans are the most adaptable of the common races. Short generations and a penchant for migration and conquest have made them physically diverse as well. Humans are often unorthodox in their dress, sporting unusual hairstyles, fanciful clothes, tattoos, and the like.

Primary Class:
Sorcerers are arcane spellcasters who manipulate magic energy with imagination and talent rather than studious discipline. They have no books, no mentors, no theories just raw power that they direct at will. Sorcerers know fewer spells than wizards do and acquire them more slowly, but they can cast individual spells more often and have no need to prepare their incantations ahead of time. Also unlike wizards, sorcerers cannot specialize in a school of magic. Since sorcerers gain their powers without undergoing the years of rigorous study that wizards go through, they have more time to learn fighting skills and are proficient with simple weapons. Charisma is very important for sorcerers; the higher their value in this ability, the higher the spell level they can cast.

Secondary Class:
Rogues have little in common with each other. While some - maybe even the majority - are stealthy thieves, many serve as scouts, spies, investigators, diplomats, and simple thugs. Rogues are versatile, adaptable, and skilled at getting what others don't want them to get. While not equal to a fighter in combat, a rogue knows how to hit where it hurts, and a sneak attack can dish out a lot of damage. Rogues also seem to have a sixth sense when it comes to avoiding danger. Experienced rogues develop nearly magical powers and skills as they master the arts of stealth, evasion, and sneak attacks. In addition, while not capable of casting spells on their own, a rogue can sometimes 'fake it' well enough to cast spells from scrolls, activate wands, and use just about any other magic item.

Find out What Kind of Dungeons and Dragons Character Would You Be?, courtesy of Easydamus (e-mail)

State Of The Bob Address

2008-01-16T08:55:00.001Z

So it's my birthday today. Another year of my life has passed me by without me having really achieved anything apart from grow a bit older. I tried to lose weight this year and for a time succeeded, but I'm pretty sure it's all come back home now. I certainly don't feel any slimmer anymore. I think my level of debt has decreased but not by much. Hopefully the court case that the the Office of Fair Trading began against the banks on Monday will resolve the disputed bank fees case and I can claim back the seven thousand pounds that HSBC has overcharged me over the past six years. That money would go a long way towards sorting out my life.

Despite all my efforts, I have been single all year long, and while I've had a few chats with women and even flirted a bit, nothing has come of any of it. I'm obviously hoping for better luck in the year to come, but I'm not exactly going to hold my breath on that score. No matter how optimistic I try to be about my prospects for finding a partner, something always brings reality into focus. Currently that would be my rather pitiful rating on the Hot or Not feature on my Facebook account, where after 60 votes I currently rate a dismal 3.4 out of 10! Not that that overly surprises me. I keep telling the people who tell me that I'm attractive, that if I was truly attractive, that people would be attracted to me... and nobody is!

Today will be spent the same way I've celebrated my birthday for the past few years, namely I'll be spending the day with my best friend Tony Searle (whose birthday it is also), and together we'll be grabbing lunch at Pizza Hut, followed by watching 2-3 movies back to back and then likely hitting the Hollywood Bowl for bowling and beers to round off the evening.

So that's it really, another year gone and pretty much wasted. I continue to plod on through life without any real aim or desire save to reach the end of it. Only in that sense can the past year be viewed as a sucess, as I am one year further along the path to the end of my life. Far too many more to go though it seems. Guess I'll just take them one year at a time same way everyone else does and maybe somewhere along the way I'll find a reason to wish they passed me by a bit slower than they do. But I didn't find her this year.

Sorry Lady, But I'm An Atheist!

2008-01-15T00:01:00.001Z

Heh got another zany scam junk email today which I thought I'd share with the world. I have to admit, this is a novel angle that I've not encountered before. It's still really obviously a con trick though. Have a read of this:

From Mrs. Jessie castor

ENDEAVOR TO USE IT FOR THE CHILDREN OF GOD.

I am the above named person from Czech Republic. I am married to Mr. Jeffery castor who worked with Czech Republic embassy in Egypt for nine years before he died in the year 2006.We were married for eleven years without a child. He died after a brief illness that lasted for only four days. Before his death we were both born again Christians. Since his death I decided not to re-marry or get a child outside my matrimonial home which the Bible is against. When my late husband was alive he deposited the sum of 7.2 Million Dollars (seven Million two hundred thousand United State Dollars) with a Bank.

Presently, this money is still with the Bank Recently, My Doctor told me that I would not last for the next three months due to cancer problem. Though what disturbs me most is my stroke sickness. Having known my condition I decided to donate this Fund to church or better still a Christian individual that will utilize this money the way I am going to instruct here in. I want a church that will use these funds to fund churches, orphanages and widows propagating the word of God and to ensure that the house of God is maintained. The Bible made us to understand that blessed is the hand that gives. I took this decision because I don't have any child that will inherit this money and my husband relatives are not Christians and I don't want my husband's hard earned money to be misused by unbelievers. I don't want a situation where this money will be used in an ungodly manner.

Hence the reason for taking this bold decision. I am not afraid of death hence I know where I am going. I know that I am going to be in the bosom of the Lord. Exodus 14 VS 14 says that the lord will fight my case and I shall hold my peace. I don't need any telephone communication in this regard because of my health and because of the presence of my husband's relatives around me always. I don't want them to know about this development.With God all things are possible.

As soon as I receive your reply I shall give you the contact of the Bank, I will also issue you a letter of authority that will prove you as the original- beneficiary of this Fund. I want you and the church to always pray for me because the lord is my shepherd. My happiness is that I lived a life of a worthy Christian. Whoever that wants to serve the Lord must serve him in spirit and truth. Please always be prayerful all through your life. Any delay in your reply will give me room in sourcing for a church or Christian individual for this same purpose. Please assure me that you will act accordingly as I stated herein.

Hoping to hear from you.

I have set aside 20% for your assistance and for your time and 10% for any expenses if there is any. Remain blessed in the name of the Lord.

Yours in Christ,

Mrs. Jessie castor
EMAIL: cas14142@aim.com

Blue Eyes

2007-12-30T23:46:00.001Z

So I got sent this and felt... what the hell, worth a try. I mean it can't hurt, even if the following passage doesn't really describe me at all aside from the colour of my eyes.

People with blue eyes last the longest in relationships. They are kind, pretty or handsome, very good kissers and are really hot. They always fall in love with their closest friends and never understand why. They are very funny, outgoing and don't care what people think or say. They are very satisfying and love to please. Are straight up WARRIORS when necessary. If you repost this and you have blue eyes you will have the best kiss sometime in the next 5 days

T'was the Internet Night Before Christmas

2007-12-24T06:52:00.000Z

Thought I would post an amusing modern version of this classic poem. Hope you enjoy it, I know it made me laugh.

T'was the Internet Night Before Christmas

Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the Net,
There were hacker's a surfing. Nerds? Yeah, you bet.
The e-mails were stacked by the modem with care,
In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there.

The newbies were nestled all snug by their screens,
While visions of Java danced in their dreams.
My wife on the sofa and me with a snack,
We just settled down at my rig (it's a Mac).

When out in the Web there arose such a clatter,
I jumped to the site to see what was the matter.
To a new page my Mac flew like a flash,
Then made a slight gurgle. It started to crash!!

I gasped at the thought and started to grouse,
Then turned my head sideways and clicked on my mouse.
When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
My Mac jumped to a page that wasn't quite clear.

When the image resolved, so bright and so quick,
I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick!
More rapid than mainframes, more graphics they came,
Then Nick glanced toward my screen, my Mac called them by name;

"Now Compaq! Now Acer!", my speaker did reel;
"On Apple! On Gateway!" Santa started to squeal!
"Jump onto the circuits! And into the chip!
Now speed it up! Speed it up! Make this thing hip!"

The screen gave a flicker, he was into my "Ram",
Then into my room rose a full hologram!
He was dressed in all red, from his head to his shoes,
Which were black (the white socks he really should lose).

He pulled out some discs he had stored in his backpack.
Santa looked like a dude who was rarin' to hack!
His eyes, how they twinkled! His glasses, how techno!
This ain't the same Santa that I used to know!

With a wink of his eye and a nod of his head,
Santa soon let me know I had nothing to dread.
He spoke not a word, gave my Mac a quick poke,
And accessed my C drive with only a stroke.

He defragged my hard drive, and added a "Dimm",
Then threw in some cool games, just on a whim!
He worked without noise, his fingers they flew!
He distorted some pictures with Kai's Power Goo!

He updated Office, Excel and Quicken,
Then added a screensaver with a red clucking chicken!
My eyes widened a bit, my mouth stood agape,
As he added the latest version of Netscape.

The drive gave a whirl, as if it were pleased,
St. Nick coyly smiled, the computer appeased.
Then placing his finger on the bridge of his nose,
Santa turned into nothing but ones and zeros!

He flew back into my screen and through my uplink,
Back into the net with barely a blink.
But I heard his sweet voice as he flew from my sight,
"Happy surfing to all, and to all a good byte!"

I Won The Lottery... Again!

2007-12-22T17:52:00.000Z

Yay another lotery win, I must be the luckiest man alive. No need to have a job, as I win the lottery a couple times a week and essentially have an income greater than that of any Premiere League footballer... *sighs* if only. Alas this is of course yet another scam email that I've been sent. I've posted it below for your reading amusement exactly as it was sent to me, typos and all. Enjoy!

Uk National Lottery Award Team
Ref: LSUK/2031/8161/07
Batch: R3/A312-59

Dear Winner,

This is to inform you that, you have won a prize money of Eight Hundred &
Fifty Two Thousand,United Kingdom Pounds(£852,000.00) for the month of
December 2007 Lottery promotion which is organized by UK NATIONAL LOTTERY
AWARD TEAM, collects all the email addresses of the people that are active
online, we only select ten people every Month as our winners through
electronic balloting System without the winner applying, we congratulate
you for being one of the people selected.

PAYMENT OF PRIZE AND CLAIM

You are to contact your Claims Agent with immediate effect to facilitate
the protocol of your winning prized before the date of Claim, Winners
Shall be paid in accordance with his/her Settlement Center.Prize must be
claimed not later than 14 days from date of Draw Notification after the
Draw date in which Prize Was won. Any prize not claimed within this
period will be forfeited.

These are your identification numbers:
YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS ATTACHED TO TICKET NUMBER 56475600545 188
WITH SERIAL NUMBER 5368/07
DREW LUCKY NUMBERS 47-14-18-23-31-45
To begin your claim please contact our licensed and accredited agent
assigned to you

MR. GRAHAM SMITH
CLAIM AGENT OFFICER
Email: uknlclaimsagent008@yahoo.co.uk
PHONE: +44 70457 72800
You are therefore advised to send the following information to the claims
agent to facilitate them and in order for them to have access in
proceeding of your winning.

1. Full Name................
2. Country..................
3. Contact Address..........
4. Telephone Number.........
5. Marital Status...........
6. Occupation...............
7. Company..................
8. Age......................
9. Sex......................

After this period will automatically void your payment. Remember to quote
your ticket number in your future correspondence. (identification on
delivery)

Congratulations!! once again.
Yours in service,
DR. TIMOTHY COLE.
(Operation Manager).

A Letter From Kaburi Yusuf

2007-12-16T17:36:00.000Z

Yay!! The idiotic scammers of the world were reliable enough to provide me with yet another example of their stupidity. Have a read of what Mr. Yusuf has sent me (and likely hundreds, if not thousands of others also):

FROM MR. KABURI YUSUF
THE AUDITING MANAGER BANK OF AFRICA
OUAGADOUGOU- BURKINA FASO
Dear Friend,

I am the auditing manager of BANK OF AFRICA (BOA) Ouagadougou, BURKINA FASO,WEST AFRICA.

I am contacting you based on Trust and confidentiality that you will keep this as top secret and don't be scared or surprised, i am the auditing manager of BANK OF AFRICA and i have an opportunity to transfer the sum of US$10.5MILLION (TEN MILLION FIVE HUNDRED UNITED STATE DOLLARS)

I have the courage to look for a reliable and Honest Person who will be capable for this important business Transaction, believing that you will never let me down either now or in Future.

The owner of this account is MR RON MORRIS, a foreigner and he is the Manager Of petrol chemical service, a chemical engineer by Proffession.He died with his entire family, they were among the victims of December 25, 2003 Air-Crash Incident in Benin Republic.

Since then, The bank has made series of efforts to contact any of the relatives to claim this fund but without success, you can confirm through this website:

http://www.cnn.com/2003/WORLD/africa/12/26/benin.crash/

My Investigation as the bank auditing manager proved to me as well that his company does not know anything About this account.
I want to transfer this fund into a safe foreign account abroad and I know that this message will come to you as a surprise as we don't know ourselves before,but be sure that it is real And A Genuine business.

Hope that you will never let me down in this transaction.

At the conclusion of this business,you will be giving 40% of the total amount, 50% will be for me and 10% for any expenses the may accured during the transaction.
I looking forward to your earliest reply for more details.

Best regards
KABURI YUSUF

A Letter From Mrs. Judith Lancer

2007-12-13T16:52:00.000Z

Well this is a new approach to the standard "You've won the lottery" scam I suppose, though it is still transparently obvious that is a scam. A charitable grant for educational and business development that is given out to 100 random people worldwide? Pull the other one, it's got bells on! Here for your entertainment is the letter in its entirety:

The Église catholique en France(www.cef.fr) would like to notify you that you have been chosen by the board of trustees as one of the final recipients of a cash Grant-Donation for your own personal, educational, and business development. The Église catholique en France, established 1977 by the Multi-Million groups and now supported by the Economic Community for West African States (ECOWAS), United Nations Organization (UNO) and the European Union (EU) was conceived with the objective of human growth, educational, and community development.

In conjunction with the ECOWAS, UNO and the EU, We are giving out a
yearly donation of USD850,000.00 each to 100 lucky recipients. These specific Donations/Grants will be awarded to 100 lucky international recipients worldwide, in different categories.

Based on the random selection exercise of internet websites and millions of supermarket cash invoices worldwide, you were selected
amongst the lucky recipients to receive the award sum of
USD850,000.00 as charity donations-aid.

You are required to contact the Executive Secretary below, for
qualification documentation and processing of your claims. Please
endeavor to quote your Qualification numbers (CEF-080-2998-2996) in
all discussions.

Executive Secretary: Rev. Michael Dominique
Email: michaeldominique1@yahoo.fr

On behalf of the Board kindly, accept our warmest congratulations.

Regards,
Mrs. Judith Lancer.

Another Lottery Win

2007-12-12T16:09:00.001Z

Two in one day, not bad going eh? I'm raking in the imaginary millions here!

AWARD WINNING INFORMATION PLEASE RESPOND URGENTLY.

Refrence NUMBER: LSLUK/2031/8161/07.
BATCH NUMBER: 14/011/IPD.
ticket number: 50941465206-529.

Your email address has won the sum of $1,000.000.00 (USD) only in the December 2007 microsoft electronic free email lottary. please contact the under signed for your award.

Dr.Karl Peterson.
TEL: +31-630-255-305,FAX: +31-847-516-031.
Email: netpointsbv@aol.co.uk

Best regards,

Yours Sincerely,
Mrs.Gregge Van Der Hoofd.

I Won A Hoax Lottery!

2007-12-12T15:54:00.000Z

A bit of a change in the type of junkmail I'm posting here today. This is another type I get sent with some regularity, namely the scam email that claims I've won a large sum of money and all I need to do is provide some details to claim it. These emails are entirely bogus, and the people running them will try to get you to part with your money for "administrative costs" and the like. You won't of course ever actually get your suppossed prize money. So without further ado from me, here's a new mail to have a laugh at:

AWARD NOTICE
POSTCODE LOTERIJ NL.
RESULTS FOR CATEGORY "B" DRAWS
Ticket Number: NL/BC336791/HY07.

In view of the yearly sweepstake of
the above named organization held recently we are pleased to inform you
that your e-mail address attached to the above ticket Number:
NL/BC336791/HY07,Prized Number: 2941XG and Lucky number 5256JA, came up
in the first dip.This invariably means that you have emerged as the
prize winner of the sum of €1,500,000.00 Euros{One Million,Five Hundred
Thousand Euros} in the second category.
Be informed that all
participants were selected from a random computing ballot system.This
charitable sweepstake is sponsored by postcdeloterij.nl and government
parastatals.It is in your best interest and to avoid mix up of numbers
and names of any kind that we request you

keep the entire details of
your winning strictly from public notice until the process of
transferring your claims has been completed, and your funds remitted to
your account.This is part of our security protocol to avoid double
claims and unscrupulous acts by participants/ non participants of this
program.

To claim your winning,you should contact the OFFICIAL and
APPROVED paying bank here in Holland-Netherlands urgently:-

Dr.M.
Richard.
PostBank BL
www.postbank.nl
Email: mricharpostbnk@aim.com

You are also advice to furnish them with the following information:-

Your Names:-
Telephone / Fax-
Your Nationality{Your country of Origin}-
E-Ticket number-
Prize Number-
Congratulations once again from
management and staff of this company,and thanking you for being a lucky
winner of our promotions program.

Sincerely,
Mrs. Mariam Roosje -Hoo
NATIONALE POSTCODE LOTERIJ Promotion
www.postcodeloterij.nl

A Letter From Ejner Andersen

2007-12-10T07:26:00.000Z

Yep, I got another one of these scam emails in the post today. Have a read of the latest idiots efforts to part me from my money! As always I've posted the letter exactly how it came to me, with typos, line breaks etc intact. Ohh yeah and to be sure he got my attention, this loser sent me the same email 3 times!

Attention,

It is with heartfelt hope that I write to seek your co-operation and assistance in the context stated below, I am Mr.Ejner Andersen, the personal assistant to the Late Mr. Richard Williams. I got your contact during my search for a reliable person I could do business with, though I do not know you but I seek to ask a favor from you as this will sincerely benefit the both of us and all parties involved.

My Late Boss was an Executive Officer of a leading Oil and Servicing Firm for 10 years and he was retired on the 28th day of September 2006. After a month, He and his entire family died on their way to a Conference in an Automobile crash on the 11th day of November 2006.

Before his death my Boss had a total sum of $10,500,000.00(USD) with a Financier House in Europe, hoping of transferring the funds to his Country {United Kingdom} after his retirement as soon as he comes back from the conference. According to the {DEED OF WILL} made be my late Boss, He wrote {DEED OF WILL} that if anything should happen to him, that I should make sure I locate any of his family members.

Since I have been unsuccessful in locating the relatives for close to a year now, I seek your consent to present you as the next of kin to the deceased. I agree to pay you 50% of the fund as the account owner, 50% for me.

Please do provide the following information for the application processing.

1. Your full name:

2. Contact address:

3. Email:

4. Phone number for verbal communication:

5. Age (Date of Birth):

6. Occupation:

All this information will enable me write an application to the company on your behalf, and present you to the company as the real next of kin to my late Boss. All required is your honest cooperation to enable us seeing this business successful. I guarantee that this will be executed under a legitimate arrangement which will protect you from any breach of the law.

Late Richard Williams was a very good man and it is not wise for me to allow his hard earned wealth to be stolen by the greedy directors of the Company. Please note that this email is with no intent of getting you upset in anyway but just a proposal I believe will be of mutual benefit to both of us. I strongly await your urgent response for effective process.

Regards,

Ejner Andersen.

A Politically Correct Christmas Poem

2007-12-04T17:52:00.000Z

Anyone who knows me well will know (or should) that I hate political correctness. It is the art of taking a good intention and twisting it into a weapon and wielding it then with fanatical zeal. It is nothing short of insane to try to make two sexes into one essentially genderless society. We humans thrive on our differences. Women fascinate and entice us Men because they are different. Men enchant and seduce Women because they find us fascinating. And so the human race continues. But these days, what started out as a well meant intention to iron out a few creases in relationships between the sexes, has become a liberal crusade to undo what makes Men and Women what they are.

So here's a poem that I grabbed from the Alter Realm Message Boards, where it was posted by my very good friend Vickie. And it's a poem that to the tune of "Twas the Night Before Christmas", points out just how crazy this era of supposed Political Corectness is.

A Politically Correct Christmas Poem

Twas the night before Christmas and Santa's a wreck...
How to live in a world that's politically correct?
His workers no longer would answer to "Elves",
"Vertically Challenged" they were calling themselves.
And labor conditions at the North Pole,
were alleged by the union, to stifle the soul.

Four reindeer had vanished without much propriety,
released to the wilds, by the Humane Society.
And equal employment had made it quite clear,
that Santa had better not use just reindeer.
So Dancer and Donner, Comet and Cupid,
were replaced with 4 pigs, and you know that looked stupid!

The runners had been removed from his beautiful sleigh,
because the ruts were deemed dangerous by the EPA,
And millions of people were calling the Cops,
when they heard sled noises upon their roof tops.
Second-hand smoke from his pipe, had his workers quite frightened,
and his fur trimmed red suit was called "unenlightened".

To show you the strangeness of today's ebbs and flows,
Rudolf was suing over unauthorized use of his nose.
He went to Geraldo, in front of the Nation,
demanding millions in over-due workers compensation.

So...half of the reindeer were gone, and his wife
who suddenly said she'd had enough of this life,
joined a self help group, packed and left in a whiz,
demanding from now on that her title was Ms.

And as for gifts...why, he'd never had the notion
that making a choice could cause such commotion.
Nothing of leather, nothing of fur...
Which meant nothing for him or nothing for her.
Nothing to aim, Nothing to shoot,
Nothing that clamored or made lots of noise.
Nothing for just girls and nothing for just boys.
Nothing that claimed to be gender specific,
Nothing that's warlike or non-pacifistic.

No candy or sweets...they were bad for the tooth.
Nothing that seemed to embellish upon the truth.
And fairy tales...while not yet forbidden,
were like Ken and Barbie, better off hidden,
for they raised the hackles of those psychological,
who claimed the only good gift was one ecological.

No baseball, no football...someone might get hurt,
besides - playing sports exposed kids to dirt.
Dolls were said to be sexist and should be passe.
and Nintendo would rot your entire brain away.

So Santa just stood there, disheveled and perplexed,
he just couldn't figure out what to do next?
He tried to be merry he tried to be gay,
but you must have to be careful with that word today
His sack was quite empty, it was flat on the ground,
nothing fully acceptable was anywhere to be found.

Something special was needed, a gift that he might,
give to us all, without angering the left or the right.
A gift that would satisfy - with no indecision,
each group of people in every religion.
Every race, every hue,
everyone, everywhere...even you!
So here is that gift, it's price beyond worth...

A Letter From Peter Wong

2007-11-29T08:03:00.000Z

Yay, another mail sent to me today. Have a read and a laugh at this moron's email. He can't even get his own name right!

DEAR FRIEND,

I am Mr.paul leech Executive Director of the Hang Seng
Bank Ltd, taiwan.An Iraqi named Besem Faruak,
a business man made a numbered fixed deposit of
(126,336,8299.38 hk) for 18 calendar months, this is
valued to Eigth milion United State Dollars only in
my branch.

Upon maturity several notice was sent to him, even
during the war,four years ago (2003). Again after the
war another notification was sent and
still no response came from him. We later found out
that Besem Faruak, and his family had been killed
during the war in Gunfire that hit their

home at Mukaradeeb where his personal oil well was.
After further investigation it was also discovered
that Besem Faruak,
did not declare any next of kin in his official
papers including the paper work of his bank deposit.
And he also confided in me the last time we was

at my office that no one except me knew of his
deposit in my bank. So, Eigth milion United State
Dollars is still lying
in my bank and no one will ever come forward to
claim it. What bothers me is that according to the
laws of my country

at the expiration five years six months the funds will
revert to the ownership of the hong kong Government if
nobody
applies to claim the funds.

My proposal, I am prepared to place you as the next of
kin in a position to instruct HANG SENG BANK to
release the deposit to you as the closest
surviving relation. Upon receipt of the deposit, I am
prepared to share the money with you in half. That is:
I will simply nominate you as the
next of kin and have them release the deposit to
you. We share the procentange50/50.

I would have gone ahead to ask the funds be released
to me, but that would have drawn a straight line in
my involvement in claiming the
deposit.I assure you that I could have the deposit
released to you within a few days.
I will simply inform the bank of the final closing
of the file relating to Besem Faruak, I will then
officially communicate with my
Bank and instruct them to release the deposit to
you. With these: all is done.

I am aware of the consequences of this
proposal.should be interested in executing this with
me;
indicate your interest by sending me the following:

1. YOUR NAME
2. YOUR RESIDENT ADDRESS
3. YOUR OCCUPATION
4. YOUR PHONE NUMBER
5. DATE OF BIRTH
6. COUNTRY OF RESIDENT

Your response with the requested information should be
sent to reach me at my personal email address below:
peterwong_4@yahoo.com.hk

I shall then provide you with more details on this
operation when I hear from you.

Sincerely,
Mr.peter wong

A Letter From Patrick W. Chan

2007-11-24T19:45:00.000Z

Yes it is another in a sort of series of blog posts detailing some of the blatantly fraudulent junk mail that I routinely get sent. This one arrived in my Homail account today. Have a read and a good laugh. I know I did!

Mr. Patrick W. Chan
Email: patrickwkchan_015@yahoo.com.hk

Good Day,

I am Mr. Patrick W. Chan. Executive Director and Chief Financial Officer of the Hang Seng Bank Ltd. I have a concealed business suggestion for you.

Our client Gen. Samir Abi Rahman who was with the Iraqi forces and also businessman made a numbered fixed deposit for 18 calendar months before the U.S and Iraqi war, with a value of Twenty Four million Five Hundred Thousand United State Dollars only in my branch. Upon maturity several notices was sent to him, even during the war which began in 2003. Again after the war another notification was sent and still no response came from him. We later found out that the General along with his wife and only daughter had been killed during the war in a bomb blast that hit their home.

After further investigation it was also discovered that Gen. Samir Abi Rahman did not declare any next of kin in his official papers including the paper work of his bank deposit. And he also confided in me the last time he was at my office that no one except me knew of his deposit in my bank. So, Twenty Four million Five Hundred Thousand United State Dollars is still lying in my bank and no one will ever come forward to claim it. What bothers me most is that according to the laws of my country at the expiration 5 years the funds will revert to the ownership of the Hong Kong Government if nobody applies to claim the funds. Against this backdrop, my suggestion to you is that I will like you as a foreigner to stand as the next of kin to Gen. Samir Abi Rahman so that you will be able to receive his funds.

MODALITIES:
I want you to know that I have had everything planned out so that we shall come out successful. I have an attorney that will prepare the necessary document that will back you up as the next of kin to Gen. Samir Abi Rahman. After you have been made the next of kin, the attorney will also fill in for claims on your behalf and secure the necessary approval from my country’s probate in your favor for the move of the funds to an account that will be provided by you. There is no risk involved at all in this matter, as we are going to adopt a legalized method and the attorney will prepare all the necessary documents.

Please endeavor to observe utmost discretion in all matters concerning this issue. Once the funds have been transferred to your nominated bank account we shall then share in the ratio of 60% for me, 40% for you.

Should you be interested please send me your,
1, Full names,
2, private phone number,
3, current residential address,

and finally after that I shall provide you with more details of this operation.
Your earliest response to this letter will be appreciated.

Kind Regards,
Mr. Patrick W. Chan.

Seven Deadly Sins

2007-11-14T17:32:00.001Z

I saw this survey on a Message Board that I frequent and thought that filling it out myself would make for a good blog post. So here goes:

Wrath
Who did you last get angry with?
I can't remember.

What is your weapon of choice?
Knife

Would you hit a member of the opposite sex?
If they hit me first, then yes.

How about the same sex?
Yes

Who was the last person who got really angry at you?
I don't know... though it was probably my Mum.

What is your pet peeve?
Hahahahahaha.... you want the list?

Do you keep grudges, or can you let them go easily?
I keep them!

Sloth
What is one thing you're supposed to do daily that you haven't?
Clean my room

What is the latest you've ever woken up?
17 hours after I went to bed. I forget what time of day it was though.

Name a person you've been meaning to contact, but haven't?
My Doctor.

What is the last lame excuse that you made?
I forgot.

Have you ever watched an infomercial all the way through?
Yes

How many times did you hit the snooze button on your alarm clock this morning?
2

Gluttony
What is your overpriced yuppie beverage of choice?
Venti White Chocolate Mocha with an added Espresso shot from Starbucks.

Are you a meat eater?
Yes

What is the greatest amount of alcohol you've had in one sitting/outing/event?
The amount my friends at University got me to drink on my 21st birthday. I had alcohol poisoning for 2 days afterwards.

Are you comfortable with your drinking and eating habits?
Not really.

Do you enjoy candy and sweets?
Yes

Which do you prefer: sweets, salty foods or spicy foods?
Spicy food

Have you ever looked at a small house pet or child and thought, "lunch"?
No

Greed
How many credit cards do you own?
None

If you had a million dollars, what would you do with it?
Pay off debt, buy a house, take a loooong holiday.

Would you rather be rich or famous?
Rich

Would you accept a boring job if it meant that you would make megabucks?
Yes

Pride
What's one thing that you have done that you're most proud of?
Nothing

What's one thing you have done that your parents are most proud of?
Beat's me!

What thing would you like to accomplish late in your life?
Die

Do you get annoyed by coming in second place?
No, because for me second place would be better than where I normally finish.

Have you ever entered a contest of skill, knowing you were of much higher skill than all the other competitors?
Yes

Have you ever cheated to get a better score?
Yes

What did you do today that you're proud of?
Nothing

Lust
How many people have you seen naked (not counting movies, family, strippers, locker rooms)?
None

How many people have seen you naked (not counting physicians, doctors, family, locker rooms, or when you were a young child)?
None

Have you ever caught yourself staring at the chest/crotch of a person of your chosen sex during a normal conversation?
Not that I'm aware of.

What is your favorite body part of a person of your gender choice?
Hair/Eyes

Have you ever had sexual encounters (including kissing/making out) with multiple persons?
No

Have you ever been propositioned by a prostitute?
No

Envy
What item of your friends would you most want to have for your own?
Alastair's tablet laptop!

Who would you want to go on "Trading Spaces" with?
What is that?

If you could be anyone who existed in the world, who would you be?
Eric Bana

Have you ever been cheated on?
No

Have you ever wished you had a physical feature different from your own?
Frequently

What inborn trait do you see in others that you wish you had for yourself?
Self-Confidence

What deadly sin...
Do you do the most often?
Wrath

Do you do the least often?
Pride

Is your favorite to act on?
Sloth

Good Girls Go To Heaven (Bad Girls Go Everywhere)

2007-09-24T20:16:00.000Z

I do like this song, as it is pure Meatloaf. Loud, a bit bombastic, with a catchy tune and unforgettable lyrics. Wish I had specific memories to go with this song, but it's just a song I like.

Good Girls Go To Heaven (Bad Girls Go Everywhere) by Meatloaf

When the wind is howling through your window pane,
it's not the only pain of the night
You're burning up in your bed, you've got a fever of love,
and there's not an antibody in sight

Hey Jenny, Jenny, why are you crying?
There's a beauty of a moon in the sky
But I guess when you've been leadin such a sheltered life,
you never lift your head and look so high

You don't have a lot
But it's all that you've got, and you can turn it into more than it seems
Just give it a shot, fantasise every movement,
and imagine every inch of your dream

No-one said it had to be real, but it's got to be something you can reach out and feel now
It ain't right, it ain't fair
Castles fall in the sand, and we fade in the air,
and the good girls go to heaven but the bad girls go everywhere
Good girls go to heaven but the bad girls go everywhere
Somebody told me so
Somebody told me, now I know
Every night in my prayer,
I'll be praying that the good girls go to heaven but the bad girls go everywhere

When the sweat is sizzling on your skin in the dark,
and you're desperate now for somewhere to turn
Every muscle in rebellion, every nerve is on edge,
and every limb has been erotic'ly burned

Hey Johnny, Johnny, why are you shaking,
when a boy should do whatever he can
You've been nothing but an angel every day of your life,
and now you wonder what it's like to be damned

You don't have a lot
But it's all that you've got, and you can turn it into more than it seems
Just give it a shot, fantasise every movement,
and imagine every inch of your dream

No-one said it had to be real, but it's got to be something you've been wanting to feel now
It ain't right, it ain't fair
Castles fall in the sand, and we fade in the air,
and the good boys go to heaven but the bad boys go everywhere
Good boys go to heaven but the bad boys go everywhere
Somebody told me so
Somebody told me, now I know
Every night in my prayer,
I'll be praying that the good boys go to heaven but the bad boys go everywhere

Every time I try and dream you,
I can't believe how hard it's been to conjure up your face and trace your body in the air
Oh the seconds go on for ever, but the thirds and the fourth ones are even better
Every time I do it just a little bit longer
Every time I dream it's just a little bit stronger, than real life

No-one said it had to be real, but it's got to be something you can reach out and feel now
It ain't right, it ain't fair
Castles fall in the sand, and we fade in the air,
and the good girls go to heaven but the bad girls go everywhere
Good girls go to heaven but the bad girls go everywhere
Somebody told me so
Somebody told me, now I know
Every night in my prayer,
I'll be praying that the good girls go to heaven but the bad girls go everywhere

Good girls go to heaven, bad girls go everywhere
Good girls go to heaven, bad girls go everywhere
Good girls go to heaven, bad girls go everywhere
Good girls go to heaven, bad girls go everywhere

Good girls go to heaven, bad girls go everywhere

Arrr Mateys!

2007-09-19T16:57:00.000Z

Today is September 19th, which means it be International Talk Like A Pirate Day again! In honour of this most auspicious (and ridiculous) of days, I present a couple suitably piratey video clips courtesy of that chest of buried treasures known as Youtube! Feast yer eyes on these mateys!

Shiver My Timbers by The Muppets

The Salty Dog by Floggin Molly

And in case ye be havin' troubles with talking like a pirate, then this here page might be o' some use to ye swabbies. The Talk Like A Pirate Translator!

It's Action Force..

2007-09-11T14:32:00.001Z

I used to love these toys as a kid, still love the characters and such nowadays. In the States the toyline/cartoon/comic book was called G.I. Joe, but over here the line was originally made by Palitoy, not Hasbro and was named Action Force with its own storylines and everything. These eventually changed to resemble the US line, and were finally replaced wholesale by them. The reason for this post is the awesome intro sequence to the British version of the cartoon. The American version had much the same lyrics but a far slower more plodding beat to it. Nothing at all like the far more impressive and upbeat sequence we had. See for yourself!

Also I've picked today to post this, because today is the 6th anniverssary of the World Trade Center attacks. The War on Terror continues with no real end in sight, and our leaders and generals seem to have no clear vision of how to win this war. I thought it'd be nice to see a counter terrorist unit that actually does the job it's suppossed too. Even if it is a fictional one.

10 Things I Hate About You

2007-09-03T21:39:00.000Z

It's not often I find a poem I like enough to post on my blog, but this one certainly qualifies. Taken from the film of the same name, a clever modern adaptation of Shakespeare's Taming of the Shrew, updated to an American High School. It stars Heath Ledger as bad boy rebel Patrick Verona and the gorgeous Julia Stiles as the icy bitch Kat Stratford. I love the film and I love this poem, as Kat reads out in class near the end of the film, confessing her feelings at last, as her icy demeanour shatters. Hope you like it too:

10 Things I Hate About You

I hate the way you talk to me, and the way you cut your hair.

I hate the way you drive my car, I hate it when you stare.

I hate your big dumb combat boots and the way you read my mind.

I hate you so much it makes me sick, it even makes me rhyme.

I hate the way you’re always right, I hate it when you lie.

I hate it when you make me laugh, even worse when you make me cry.

I hate it when you’re not around, and the fact that you didn’t call.

But mostly I hate the way I don’t hate you,

not even close…

not even a little bit…

not even at all.

86 Movies

2007-08-31T09:47:00.001Z

So on the Alter Realms boards someone posted a list of 208 movies that they had gotten off a website. Apparently according to this website if you've seen over 100 of these films then you have no life. I thought it would be interesting to give it a try and as it turns out I've seen 86 of them. So officially I have a life... now all I need to do is figure out where it's hiding! Here's my results in case you're interested (the ones in bold are those I own on DVD). Give it a go and see how you score:

(X) Grease
(X) Pirates of the Caribbean
(X) Pirates of the Caribbean 2: Dead Man's Chest
() Boondock Saints
(X) Fight Club
() Starsky and Hutch
(X) Neverending Story
(X) Blazing Saddles
(X) Airplane

----------7

(X) The Princess Bride
() Anchorman: The Legend Of Ron Burgundy
() Napoleon Dynamite
(X) Labyrinth
() Saw
() Saw II
() Saw III
() White Noise
() White Oleander
(X) 50 First Dates
() The Princess Diaries
() The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement

------------- 3

(X) Scream
(X) Scream 2
(X) Scream 3
() Scary Movie
() Scary Movie 2
() Scary Movie 3
() Scary Movie 4
(X) American Pie
() American Pie 2
() American Wedding
() American Pie Band Camp
() American Pie Naked Mile

------------ 4

(X) Harry Potter 1
(X) Harry Potter 2
(X) Harry Potter 3
(X) Harry Potter 4
(X) Resident Evil 1
(X) Resident Evil 2
()The Wedding Singer
() Little Black Book
(X) The Village
(X) Lilo & Stitch

---------- 8

() Finding Nemo
() Finding Neverland
() Signs
() The Grinch
() Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning
() White Chicks
() Butterfly Effect
() 13 Going on 30
(X) I, Robot
() Robots

------------- 1

(X) Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story
(X) Universal Soldier
(X) Lemony Snicket: A Series Of Unfortunate Events
() Along Came Polly
(X) Deep Impact
(X) KingPin
() Never Been Kissed
() Meet The Parents
() Meet the Fockers
() Eight Crazy Nights
() Joe Dirt
(X) King Kong

-------------- 6

() The Terminal
() The Lizzie McGuire Movie
() Passport to Paris
(X) Dumb & Dumber
() Dumber & Dumberer
(X) Final Destination
(X) Final Destination 2
() Final Destination 3
() Halloween*original*
() The Ring
() The Ring 2
() Surviving Christmas
() Flubber *Robin Williams*

--------- 3

() Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle
(X) Practical Magic
() Chicago
(X) Ghost Ship
(X) From Hell
(X) Hellboy
() Secret Window
() I Am Sam
() The Whole Nine Yards
() The Whole Ten Yards

--------- 4

(X) The Day After Tomorrow
() Child's Play
() Seed of Chucky
() Bride of Chucky
(X) Ten Things I Hate About You
() Just Married
() Gothika
(X) Nightmare on Elm Street
() Sixteen Candles
() Remember the Titans
() Coach Carter
() The Longest Yard
() Gridiron Gang
() The Grudge
() The Grudge 2
(X) The Mask
() Son Of The Mask

---------- 4

(X) Bad Boys
() Bad Boys 2
() Joy Ride
() Lucky Number Sleven
() Ocean's Eleven
() Ocean's Twelve
(X) The Bourne Identity
(X) The Bourne Supremacy
() Lone Star
() Bedazzled
(X) Predator I
(X) Predator II
(X) Alien vs. Predator
() The Fog
(X) Ice Age
() Ice Age 2: The Meltdown
() Curious George

--------- 7

(X) Independence Day
() Cujo
() A Bronx Tale
(X) Darkness Falls
() Christine
(X) ET
() Children of the Corn
() My Bosses Daughter
() Maid in Manhattan
(X) War of the Worlds
() Rush Hour
() Rush Hour 2
(X) Die Hard
(X) Die Hard 2
(X) Die Hard 3
(X) Die Hard 4.0

--------- 8

(X) Transformers
(X) Cruel Intentions
(X) Old School
() The Notebook
() K-Pax
() Krippendorf's Tribe
() Walk to Remember
() Ice Castles
() Boogeyman
() The 40-year-old-virgin

----------- 3

() For the Love of Baseketball
() Hostel
() Waiting for Guffman
() House of 1000 corpses
() The Devil's Rejects
() Elf
() The House of Wax
() Wrong Turn
() Legally Blonde
() Legally Blonde 2

------------- 0

() Flight Plan
() The Tuxedo
() Step Up
() Stick It
() Night Watch
(X) Monsters Inc.
(X) Titanic
(X) Monty Python and the Holy Grail
(X) Shaun Of the Dead
() Willard

--------- 4

(X) Bring It On
() Bring It On Again
(X) Hulk
(X) Superman Returns
(X) Hook
(X) Chronicles Of Narnia The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe
() 28 days Later
() Orgazmo
() Phantasm
(X) WaterWorld

---------- 6

() Kill Bill vol 1
() Kill Bill vol 2
(X) Mortal Kombat
() Wolf Creek
(X) Kingdom of Heaven
() The Hills Have Eyes
() The Hills Have Eyes 2
(X) Reign of Fire
() The Last House on the Left
() Pulse
() Stay Alive

----------- 3

(X) Star Wars Ep. I The Phantom Menace
(X) Star Wars Ep. II Attack of the Clones
(X) Star Wars Ep. III Revenge of the Sith
(X) Star Wars Ep. IV A New Hope
(X) Star Wars Ep. V The Empire Strikes Back
(X) Star Wars Ep. VI Return of the Jedi
(X) Ewoks: The Caravan of Courage
() Ewoks: The Battle For Endor

-------- 7

(X) The Matrix
(X) The Matrix Reloaded
(X) The Matrix Revolutions
(X) Animatrix
() Evil Dead
(X) Evil Dead 2
() Zoolander
() Phantom of The Opera
(X) Hannibal
() Red Dragon
() Anger Management

-------6

Total all together: 86

Run With Us

2007-08-29T11:52:00.000Z

For a while now a colleague at work has been trying to remember a song. The song in question is the theme tune to a classic 80's cartoon called The Raccoons. While I remember the cartoon fondly, I too was completely stumped when it came to remembering the actual theme tune. And although she has asked me several times to try and find it online, I have consistently forgotten to do so. Until today, when for some reason or other it just popped into my head to search for it. And I found it. Not only have I found the lyrics to this tune, but I found an mp3 of it for free download too (which I've grabbed). This is a really good song. Hope you like it too:

Run With Us by Lisa Lougheed

When darkness falls
Leaving shadows in the night
Don't be afraid
Wipe that fear from your eyes

The desperate love
Keeps on driving you wrong
Don't be afraid
You're not alone

You can run with us
We've got everything you need
Run with us
We are free

Co-co-co-come with us
I see passion in your eyes
Run with us

When the cold wind blows
Turn your collar to the cold
Don't be ashamed
If you need someone to hold

If you're sinking in quicksand (quicksand... quicksand...)
And its dragging you down
And you feel you're going under
We'll be around

You can run with us
We've got everything you need
Run with us
We are free

Co-co-co-come with us
I see passion in your eyes
Run with us

When you're behind closed doors
All alone by yourself
And you're longing inside
To be somebody else

You pick up the telephone
And theres no one on the line
Don't be afraid
Cos there's still time

You can run with us
We've got everything you need
Run with us
We are free

Co-co-co-come with us
I see passion in your eyes
Run with us

You can run with us
We've got everything you need
Run with us
We are free

Co-co-co-come with us
I see passion in your eyes
Run with us

I Belong to Ravenclaw

2007-08-26T08:27:00.001Z

Which Hogwarts House Would You Be In?
	The Sorting Hat would put you in Ravenclaw. You are wise, perceptive, and quietly brilliant. You may not always be noticed right away, but you are widely respected for your humor and brains.
Find Your Character @ BrainFall.com

Apparently I'm Jafar... Cool!

2007-08-24T19:34:00.001Z

Which Disney Villain Are You?
	You are Jafar. "How many times do I have to kill you boy?" You just want to be big and powerful... Is that so much to ask? I mean, you deserve it.
Find Your Character @ BrainFall.com

10 Things Women Say

2007-08-23T11:27:00.001Z

1. Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

2. Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only ever five minutes, if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

3. Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

4. Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

5. Loud Sigh: This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)

6. That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

7. Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say "You're welcome".

8. Whatever: Is a women's way of saying _____ YOU!

9. Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking "What's wrong?" For the woman's response refer to #3.

10. You're right: Which usually means you know you're wrong, but I am tired of fighting with you and you are being an idiot and not getting it.

Philosophy and Women

2007-08-09T20:59:00.001Z

I found these quotes online and thought they'd make for a good blog post.

“It is a law of nature that women should be held under the dominance of man.” ~ Confucius (ca. 500 BC)

"Your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you." ~ Genesis 3:16

"A proper wife should be as obedient as a slave." ~ Aristotle (384-322 BC)

"The male is by nature superior and the female inferior; one rules and the other is ruled."
~ Aristotle: The Politics, Book I

"Men's courage is shown in commanding and women's in obeying."
~ Aristotle: The Politics, Book I

"Fortune is like a woman; if you wish to master her, you must conquer her by force. Moreover, she is more willing to be conquered by forceful men of ability than by timid cowards." ~ Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527): The Prince

"Woman in her greatest perfection was made to serve and obey man, not rule and command him." ~ John Knox (1505-1572)

"The husband hath by law power and dominion over his wife, and may keep her by force, within the bounds of duty, and may beat her, but not in a violent or cruel manner." ~ Sir Francis Bacon (1561-1626): Maxims of the law

"Love well, whip well." ~ Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790): Poor Richard

"Nature intended women to be our slaves. . . They are our property, we are not theirs . . . They belong to us, just as a tree which bears fruit belongs to the gardener." ~ Napoleon Bonaparte (1769-1821)

"Woman is by nature meant to obey." ~ Arthur Schopenhauer (1788-1860)

"You go to a woman? Do not forget your whip."
~ Friedrich Nietzsche (1844-1900): Thus Spoke Zarathustra, XVIII: Old and young women

"Woman is essentially a Phallus worshipper . . . permeated with a fear like that of a bird for a snake. . . It has never until now been made so clear where the bondage of women lies; it is in the sovereign, all too welcome power wielded over them by the Phallus." ~ Otto Weininger (1880-1903)

"Women, by nature, want to be dominated." ~ Jayne Mansfield (1933-1967)

To Morrow

2007-07-16T22:36:00.000Z

This is one of the very best songs from The Muppet Show, performed by Muppet versions of Jim Henson, Frank Oz and Jerry Nelson. Here's the video courtesy of YouTube as well as the lyrics so you can follow the song, or try too anyway! A fun fact is that the song was on one of the best episodes of The Muppet Show, with Rita Moreno as the guest star, and she did a great rendition of Fever, with Animal! In fact, her appearance won her an Emmy, making her the only performer in history (at that time) to have won a Tony, a Grammy, an Emmy, and an Oscar.

To Morrow by Jim Henson & The Muppet Travellers

TRAVELLER (Jim Henson):
I started on a journey just about a year ago,
To a little town called "Morrow" in the state of Ohio
I'd never been much of a traveller and I really didn't know,
That Morrow was the hardest place I'd ever try to go.

So I went down to the station for my ticket and applied
For tips regarding Morrow not expecting to be guide
Said I, "My friend, I'd like to go to Morrow and return,
No later than tomorrow for I haven't time to burn."

Said he to me,

CLERK (Jerry Nelson):
Now let me see if I have heard you right
You'd like to go to Morrow and return tomorrow night
You should have gone to Morrow yesterday and back today,
For the train that goes to Morrow is a mile upon its way
If you had gone to Morrow yesterday now don't you see,
You could have gone to Morrow and returned today at 3
For the train today to Morrow if the schedule is right,
Today it gets to Morrow and returns tomorrow night.

TRAVELLER:
Said I, "I'd like to go to Morrow so can I go today,
And get to Morrow by tonight if there is no delay?"

CLERK:
"Well, well," I said to him, and I've got no more to say,
"Can you get anywhere tomorrow and get back again today?"

TRAVELLER:
Said I, "I guess you know it all, but kindly let me say,
How can I get to Morrow if I leave this town today?"
Said he,

CLERK:
You can not go to Morrow anymore today,
For the train that goes to Morrow is a mile upon its way.

TRAVELLER:
I was so disappointed, I was mad enough to swear
The train had gone to Morrow and it left me standing there
The man was right in telling me,

CLERK:
You are a howling jay
You cannot go to Morrow...

TRAVELLER:
Well I guess in town I'll stay.

FIDDLER (Frank Oz):
I don't get it.

You and I and George

2007-07-16T17:00:00.000Z

I adore this song/sketch featuring Rowlf, who is arguably my favourite of the Muppets. Rather than post the lyrics, I've decided to post the link to the video of the song, which has been posted on YouTube. Enjoy!

You Know My Name

2007-07-12T10:47:00.000Z

I love this song! Such a powerful theme tune and perfectly suited to James Bond. Playing over the opening credits of Casino Royale, this rock track let the audience know that they were in for a hell of a ride, and the film did not disapoint. I've yet to listen to any other tracks by Chris Cornell, though I likely will before long to see what else he has done. This is a song that I play often.

You Know My Name by Chris Cornell

If you take a life, do you know what you'll give
Odds are, you won't like what it is
When the storm arrives, would you be seen with me
By the merciless eyes I've deceived

I've seen angels fall from blinding heights
But you yourself are nothing so divine
Just next in line

Arm yourself because no-one else here will save you
The odds will betray you
And I will replace you
You can't deny the prize; it may never fulfill you
It longs to kill you
Are you willing to die

The coldest blood runs through my veins
You know my name

If you come inside, things will not be the same
When you return to my night
If you think you've won
You never saw me change
The game that we have been playing

I've seen diamonds cut through harder men
Than you yourself
but if you must pretend
You may meet your end

Arm yourself because no-one else here will save you
The odds will betray you
And I will replace you
You can't deny the prize; it may never fulfill you
It longs to kill you
Are you willing to die

The coldest blood runs through my veins

Try to hide your hand
Forget how to feel
(Forget how to feel)
Life is gone with just a spin of the wheel
(A spin of the wheel)

Arm yourself because no-one else here will save you
The odds will betray you
And I will replace you
You can't deny the prize; it may never fulfill you
It longs to kill you
Are you willing to die

The coldest blood runs through my veins
You know my name
(You know my name)
You know my name
(You know my name)
you know my name!
You know my name!
You know my name!

Bork! Bork! Bork!

2007-07-10T15:11:00.000Z

You Are the Swedish Chef

"Bork! Bork! Bork!"
Your happy and energetic - with borderline manic tendencies.
No one really gets you. And frankly, you don't even get you.
But, you sure can whip up a great chocolate mousse

The Muppet Personality Test

All Too True

2007-07-08T22:46:00.001Z

I had to post this sign that I just found on the net, as it is so very appropriate for the house I live in and share with my two good friends Tony and Gareth. Check this out:

A Letter From Ramadan Abdu

2007-07-05T15:16:00.000Z

I thought I'd post an example of the junk mail I get sent. Sure enough, every week, pretty much without fail I get a mail which reads something like this one that arrived in my junk mail folder today. Have a read of this:

FROM THE DESK OF DR. RAMADAN ABDU, BILL AND EXCHANGE MANAGER, AFRICAN DEVELOPMENT BANK OUAGADOUGOU, BURKINA FASO. TEL:00226-78-81-04-32 Good day, I am the manager of bill and exchange at the foreign remittance departmentof African Development bank (ADB). I came to know you in my private search for a reliable and reputable person to handle this Confidential Transaction,which involves the transfer of a huge sum of money to a foreign account requiring maximum confidence. An investor (our costumer)who died without naming a next of kin to his fund in my bank.The amount in question is a about $30.M(thirty million US dollars) and banking regulation/legislation in Burkina Faso demand that I notify the fiscal authorities after a statutory time.The above set of facts underscores my reason of writing and making the following proposing to present you as the next of kin.you can view the site for more details: (news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/859479.stm) I have all the legal and Banking details of our deceased client that will facilitate our putting you forward as the claimant/beneficiary of the funds and ultimately transfer the money to any bank account nominated by you.I am prepared to compensate you with a 30% share of the total funds for your efforts.10 % will be set aside for expenses incurred during the business and 60 % would be for me and my colleagues. Please contact me immediately whether or not you are interested in this deal.If you are not,it will enable me scout for another foreign partner to carry out this deal.But where you are interested, contact me through my email address for more details as time is of the essence in this business. You should contact me immediately as soon as you receive this letter. Trusting to hear from you immediately. Yours faithfully, Dr. Ramadan Abdu, Bill and exchange manager, African Development bank ADB

I've literally just copy/pasted this in here, word for word, complete with all the typos and such. Quite why anyone would fall for a letter like this I don't know. It is so obviously fake and a set up for a scam. I have to wonder, just how many other people got this letter today.

Ruler Of Mars

2007-06-05T06:29:00.001Z

You Should Rule Mars

Mars is a planet that shines brightly and loops wildly around the solar system.

You are perfect to rule Mars, because you are both energetic and independent.
Like Mars, you seems attractive and bright to others - but you're difficult to pin down.

You are a great thinker, but you only think in the present and ignore the future.
Full of enthusiasm and inspiration, you are into your own thing... and rather insensitive to others.

What Planet Should You Rule?

Drunken Ramblings

2007-05-30T21:38:00.001Z

So I'm a bit drunk right now. A bottle of Chilean Merlot Rose wine is the culprit that's gotten me into this state and very nice it was too. I've been drinking it over the past few hours whilst watching episodes from the tail end of season 3 of Battlestar Galactica. Just got 2 left to watch at the time of writing... no that's not right, typing this post to my blog. And I'll watch those in a bit. As well as munch on another Magnum ice cream. I've eaten two tonight, but I bought 6 of them earlier, so I'm not about to run out anytime soon.

Got a wicked chocolate craving that choc ices just cannot sate. Time to get dressed (I'm dressed now, but in lounge about the house clothes you know) and head to the 24 hour Tesco supermarket to raid their confectionary dept I think.

One More Lonely Night

2007-05-27T00:46:00.001Z

So I'm sat here drinking a pint of Jim Beam and cola and feeling just a bit sorry for myself. I shouldn't be, after all I've had a pretty good day. I had the day off work, and so I slept in late. I spent the latter part of the morning and early afternoon engaged in an enjoyable roleplay session online with noeva (one of the kajirae in my Slaver House chatroom). I then cycled to the cinema and watched Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End, which if you've not seen it, is well worth going to see. And if you do go to see it, stay until after the credits to see the final ending for at least two of the series characters. Very worthwhile waiting to do so, and you'll get to hear the fantastic music as you do so.

The day went wrong I think when I decided to go out tonight. I went first to Henry's pub which was boring, and then on to Subway to get something to eat. There I had the misfortune to run into the fucking moron who works in the same store as me named Thomas. Honestly the man is a walking argument for infanticide. He should have been shot at birth! So I ate my 6" sub whilst listeing to his insane drivel in the background, leaving as soon as he noticed me and started trying to talk to me.

I headed to the Market House pub which was busy but not packed. Saturday night used to be 80's night, but now seems to be "the DJ plays whatever he wants too" night. Which is a shame, 80's night was usually good, tonight... not so much. Leaving there after a couple drinks, I headed to Yate's Wine Bar as I knew my friends Derek Adams and Tony Searle were going there as tonight was the final of the local Battle of the Bands. It cost 5 pounds to get in. I should have saved my money and come home. As it was I stayed for one drink, whilst listening to the band slaughter their way through a couple "songs". If they got to the regional final I shudder to think on how bad the groups that didn't make it were!

So I'm sat here now, typing this blog entry, which is a rarity in itself, as of late I've largely lost interest in this outlet. I think I would have been better off having stayed home tonight and saved myself the money I spent on food, drinks and door fees. I'll never meet anyone staying indoors though, but then I never meet anyone when I go out. I'm too shy to approach any woman I like, and no woman ever gives me so much as a second glance.

What Men Say (And What We Mean!)

2007-05-01T12:16:00.002Z

Okay so I've shamelessly stolen this article from a message board that I frequent, but I don't care cos it's really funny.

"I'M GOING FISHING"
Means: "I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid, and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety."

"IT'S A GUY THING"
Means: "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical".

"CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?"
Means: "Why isn't it already on the table?"

"UH HUH," "SURE, HONEY," OR "YES, DEAR..."
Means: Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.

"IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN"
Means: "I have no idea how it works."

"I WAS LISTENING TO YOU. IT'S JUST THAT I HAVE THINGS ON MY MIND."
Means: "I was wondering if that redhead over there is wearing a bra."

"TAKE A BREAK HONEY, YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD".
Means: "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."

"THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR."
Means: "Are you still talking?"

"YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS."
Means: "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop', the address of the first girl I ever kissed, and the vehicle identification numbers of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday."

"I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU, AND GOT YOU THESE ROSES".
Means: "The girl selling them on the corner had great tits."

"OH, DON'T FUSS, I JUST CUT MYSELF, IT'S NO BIG DEAL."
Means: "I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit that I'm hurt."

"HEY, I'VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I'M DOING".
Means: "And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon."

"I CAN'T FIND IT."
Means: "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."

"WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?"
Means: "What did you catch me at?"

"I HEARD YOU."
Means: "I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next three days yelling at me."

"YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE"
Means: "I am used to the way you yell at me, and realize it could be worse."

"YOU LOOK TERRIFIC"
Means: "Please don't try on one more outfit, I'm starving."

"I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE."
Means: "No one will ever see us alive again."

"WE SHARE THE HOUSEWORK"
Means: "I make the messes, she cleans them up."

Englishman In New York

2007-03-20T09:10:00.000Z

I LOVE this song! I'm not an Englishman (I'm Welsh) and I have no great desire to visit New York in my lifetime. Nor do I have any great memories or introspective thoughts that I associate with this tune, but something about it just grabs me. Hope you like it too.

Englishman In New York by Sting

I don't drink coffee I take tea my dear
I like my toast done on one side
And you can hear it in my accent when I talk
I'm an Englishman in New York

See me walking down Fifth Avenue
A walking cane here at my side
I take it everywhere I walk
I'm an Englishman in New York

I'm an alien I'm a legal alien
I'm an Englishman in New York
I'm an alien I'm a legal alien
I'm an Englishman in New York

If, "Manners maketh man" as someone said
Then he's the hero of the day
It takes a man to suffer ignorance and smile
Be yourself no matter what they say

I'm an alien I'm a legal alien
I'm an Englishman in New York
I'm an alien I'm a legal alien
I'm an Englishman in New York

Modesty, propriety can lead to notoriety
You could end up as the only one
Gentleness, sobriety are rare in this society
At night a candle's brighter than the sun

Takes more than combat gear to make a man
Takes more than a license for a gun
Confront your enemies, avoid them when you can
A gentleman will walk but never run

If, "Manners maketh man" as someone said
Then he's the hero of the day
It takes a man to suffer ignorance and smile
Be yourself no matter what they say

I'm an alien I'm a legal alien
I'm an Englishman in New York
I'm an alien I'm a legal alien
I'm an Englishman in New York

Consolidation

2007-02-06T11:46:00.002Z

Anyone who knows me will know that I have had debts now for a long time. These are entirely my own fault, apart from the excessive fees that my bank has hit me with time and time again which have added to the amount owed. Over time this debt has slowly increased, despite my best efforts to reduce it, as without fail any time I got close to getting it under control, some huge expense or other would rear its ugly head and swallow my attempts.

No longer. As of last night I now have 1 debt to 1 creditor, having finally consolidated them all (apart from the Studet Loan that is which really doesn't count, as I'm not earning anywhere near the amount I would need to to have to begin repayments on it).SoI now owe £13,200 to Egg Bank, in the form of a single loan. This will be paid off in monthly installments of £204 for the next 84 months, or 7 years to put it another way.

While that is a long time, I at last have the peace of mind of knowing that the debt will be cleared at the end of that time. As oppossed to the credit card I just scrapped, where my monthly repayments were merely servicing the interest, and which would have taken nearly 30 years to pay off according to the woman I got all this sorted out with on the phone last night. Also, the loan is arranged in such a way, that I can make extra payments to it, should I have the money to do so.

Which brings me back to the fees the bank has been charging me. According to the law, those fees are illegal and thus the money can be claimed back from the bank. To the best of my knowledge, my bank owes me somewhere in the region of £6000 from the last 6 years of such fees. I intend to claim it back and use that money to pay off a big chunk of the loan early. Also there are the boxes of stuff under my bed to sell on ebay, another source of money to pour into getting that debt cleared a hell of a lot sooner than 2014.

More Signs

2007-01-30T22:21:00.001Z

Presenting another batch of alternative "inspirational" photo/posters that better sum up the experience of working at a Morrisons supermarket, than the far more flattering ones displayed in the staff areas where I work manage to do.

Signs

2007-01-26T21:27:00.001Z

This post is really for those who read this blog and like me have to suffer the daily grind of working at a Morrisons supermarket. One of the many things that frankly annoys me about my workplace is the series of framed pictures on the walls of the staff area, each with a slogan like Achievement or Teamwork etc. I've always found them to be somewhat condescending. So here are a bunch of signs that I feel better sum up the experience of working for Morrisons. Enjoy!

Run To You

2007-01-25T11:22:00.000Z

This is a fairly unusual song (to my mind anyway) as the lyrics pretty much celebrate adultery, or at least infidelity. As someone who has never really had a partner and thus would cherish a woman in my life, the actual meaning of the song is pretty repellant to me. Still, morals aside, the song has a kicking rythmn and is one of my favourite of Bryan Adams many tunes. I try not to let a songs message get in the way of me enjoying the tune where possible.

Run To You by Bryan Adams

She says her love for me could never die
But that'd change if she ever found out about you and I
Oh - but her love is cold
It wouldn't hurt her if she didn't know, 'cause...
When it gets too much
I need to feel your touch

I'm gonna run to you
I'm gonna run to you
Cause when the feelin's right I'm gonna run all night
I'm gonna run to you

She's got a heart of gold she'd never let me down
But you're the one that always turns me on
You keep me comin' 'round
I know her love is true
But it's so damn easy makin' love to you
I got my mind made up
I need to feel your touch

I'm gonna run to you
I'm gonna run to you
Cause when the feelin's right I'm gonna run all night
I'm gonna run to you

I'm gonna run to you
I'm gonna run to you
Cause when the feelin's right I'm gonna run all night
I'm gonna run to you

Happy Birthday To Me

2007-01-16T05:09:00.001Z

Or at least it would be if I were writing this up a couple hours from now having just woken up. No such luck. I woke up an hour ago and have been completely unable to get back to sleep since. So I'm sat here in my dressing gown making the best of a bad thing by writing this, in the hope that staring at my keyboard and computer screen will make me tired enough to be able to grab that couple more hours of kip.

I turn 31 today, officially at about 4:10pm I'm told. Whereas last year I had a quiet day at home and a meal in the evening with my parents, brother and best friends, this year I have a considerably more packed day ahead. I say I, but I should really be saying We, as for the past few years, I have shared my birthdays actitivites with my housemate & best friend Tony Searle, as today is also his birthday (he turns 32 today).

This morning I have promised to spend a couple hours roleplaying in MSN with my good friend Cheryl Fredericks, who lives in New Zealand. I've been talking and roleplaying with her online for something like two and a half years now give or take. I left the last roleplay session we did on a bit of a cliffhanger and she's been nagging me (nicely though) to put her out of her misery and resolve it, so 8:00am-10:00am today are set aside for that.

At 11:00-11:30am Tony and I will be taking his motorbike down to the Riverside Park on the outskirts of the town and heading to the Pizza Hut there for lunch. Yesterday after mentioning our plans for the day to a couple friends in the Bakery dept where I work, I invited them along, so we might well meet up with our friends Richard Adams, James Whitfield and Dan Shapter (who I asked Richard to pass the message along too). Which would be great, though if it is just the pair of us, well that's good too.

After lunch we will be heading to the Odeon cinema a short distance away and there watching the 1:10pm showing of Night At The Museum, followed by the 4:00pm showing of Employee Of The Month. Tony did want to see Eragon (which I've already seen but would happily have sat through another showing of), but it turns out that the Odeon stopped showing it as of last Friday, so we are going with a complete comedy line up today. Very much looking forward to seeing both those films, especially Employee as it is a comedy set in a supermarket, which is where I work afterall.

Employee should finish at around about 6:00pm, so from there we'll likely trek to the McDonalds Drive Thru for dinner. I say trek, but I mean stroll as it's just across the car park from the Odeon. And from there to the Hollywood Bowl (across another car park) and to the bar and arcades inside. I'm keen to have a go on Time Crisis 4 which I've not played before, but I've loved playing all 3Time Crisis games in the series before it. There we will be meeting up with several more members of the Bakery dept, as the Bakery are having our first attempt at a dept social outing. Two games of 10 pin bowling, plus drinks, chat and some healthy competition should be a nice way to round out the day.

I imagine we'll get back here for about 9:30pm where I have the bottle of 50% proof Smirnoff Blue Label vodka in the freezer waiting for me. Enjoyed a glass of that with icecubes and Clementine Juice (it was on Buy One Get One Free in work and I was curious as to what it was like) last night and it was superb. All in all I think I'm going to enjoy myself today.

The Harpy

2007-01-10T04:25:00.001Z

I only just found this poem, thanks in part to a good friend of mine and a slight case of mistaken identity. See my friend has for some time now gone by the callsign The Harpy on message boards and such, only recently retiring that name. So when one of the moderators on Alter Realm added The Harpy to their tags (along with a line from this poem), many people (including myself) thought that it was my friend and were surprised to see that she had been made a Mod. This prompted her to start a thread on the board to explain that it wasn't her, and the Mod in question posted this poem there, by way of explanation of why they had taken the name.

And now I'm posting it here because it is a good poem and I don't find that many that I like. Hope you like it too.

The Harpy by Robert Service

There was a woman, and she was wise; woefully wise was she;
She was old, so old, yet her years all told were but a score and three;
And she knew by heart, from finish to start, the Book of Iniquity.

There is no hope for such as I on earth, nor yet in Heaven;
Unloved I live, unloved I die, unpitied, unforgiven;
A loathed jade, I ply my trade, unhallowed and unshriven.

I paint my cheeks, for they are white, and cheeks of chalk men hate;
Mine eyes with wine I make them shine, that man may seek and sate;
With overhead a lamp of red I sit me down and wait

Until they come, the nightly scum, with drunken eyes aflame;
Your sweethearts, sons, ye scornful ones -- 'tis I who know their shame.
The gods, ye see, are brutes to me -- and so I play my game.

For life is not the thing we thought, and not the thing we plan;
And Woman in a bitter world must do the best she can --
Must yield the stroke, and bear the yoke, and serve the will of man;

Must serve his need and ever feed the flame of his desire,
Though be she loved for love alone, or be she loved for hire;
For every man since life began is tainted with the mire.

And though you know he love you so and set you on love's throne;
Yet let your eyes but mock his sighs, and let your heart be stone,
Lest you be left (as I was left) attainted and alone.

From love's close kiss to hell's abyss is one sheer flight, I trow,
And wedding ring and bridal bell are will-o'-wisps of woe,
And 'tis not wise to love too well, and this all women know.
Wherefore, the wolf-pack having gorged upon the lamb, their prey,
With siren smile and serpent guile I make the wolf-pack pay --
With velvet paws and flensing claws, a tigress roused to slay.

One who in youth sought truest truth and found a devil's lies;
A symbol of the sin of man, a human sacrifice.
Yet shall I blame on man the shame? Could it be otherwise?

Was I not born to walk in scorn where others walk in pride?
The Maker marred, and, evil-starred, I drift upon His tide;
And He alone shall judge His own, so I His judgment bide.

Fate has written a tragedy; its name is "The Human Heart".
The Theatre is the House of Life, Woman the mummer's part;
The Devil enters the prompter's box and the play is ready to start.

What Kind Of Horror Killer Are You?

2007-01-09T02:59:00.001Z

Saw this on a message board I frequent and thought it'd be slightly ghoulish fun to have a go at. This is who I came out as...

You scored as Hannibal Lecter. You are Hannibal Lecter. You dont need to eat human flesh to live, but do so because it just taste good. You are very intelligent, and enjoy using it to your advantage to keep people guessing. You arent a killing machine, but when you do decide to let loose, watch out! Dinner is served, with some fava beans, and a nice chianti!

Pinhead

45%

Hannibal Lecter

45%

Michael Myers

45%

Captain Spaulding

40%

Freddy Krueger

35%

Jigsaw

35%

Candyman

35%

Jason Voorhees

25%

Leatherface

25%

Buffalo Bill

10%

Which Horror Killer are You?
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The Sales Annex

2007-01-04T22:02:00.000Z

Time again for an excerpt from one of the Gor novels, in this case my favourite book of the series: Dancer of Gor (Book 22 of the saga). This section is from the end of Chapter 8, and the earthgirl slave Doreen is chained for display in the sales annex of a slave auction house, for customers to examine her (and the other girls up for sale) before they are put up for auction that evening:

I sat, waiting, on the long, heavy, wooden platform, raised a foot or so above the dirt floor of the exposition area, it located in the annex to Teibar’s sales barn, he of Market of Semris, a dealer in tarsks, as they said, four-legged and two-legged. The platform was one of several, arranged in orderly rows. The platform I was on was near the center of the room. I sat there, waiting, small, helpless, naked, my feet tucked back, near my left thigh, my ankles crossed, as though they might be held together by a small chain, my left hand on my left ankle, my weight muchly on the palm of my right hand, a chain on my neck, running to its ring in the platform. I do not know how long I had been unconscious. I had awakened here, on the platform, feeling its heavy, sturdy, smooth wooden surface beneath my body. I had also become aware of the chain on my neck. A little later I learned what space and movement it would permit me. I could stand comfortably in it. This was intentional on the part of the masters, being connected with a concept of latitudes suitable for the appropriate display of merchandise. We were a ten-lot originally, it seemed, but as though in anticipation of a projected decision, we had been given different lot numbers. It seems they had not been fully decided, at least at one point, whether to sell us as a unit, a given ten-lot, or to break the ten-lot and sell us individually. They had now decided, it seemed, to sell us individually. I suppose it was a sound commercial decision, given the conditions current in their area. I do not really know. At any rate, they would do what they wanted, the same as with any other sort of merchandise. We were not the only ten-lot now in the room. There were girls, now, on most of the platforms, usually three girls to a platform. These others, I gathered, had been brought in during the day by wagons, or had perhaps been marched over from some other facility. Such things were the concerns of masters, not mine. My head was down. There was a number of my left breast. I was alone. Teibar, my master, who had so easily and imperiously captured me on Earth, and who had brought me here, seeing to it that I was suitably impressed into helpless bondage, had not wanted me. My hopes had been absurd. How naïve I had been. what a fool I had been. I should have known better. I could cry no more.

It was now early in the evening. Somewhat before noon we had been watered, doubtless that we would be freshened and our bellies pleasantly rounded. The men, customers, natives of the locality, agents, dealers and others, were then admitted, to examine us, and, if interested, take notes on our lot numbers. On the platforms, I, and others, had endured the most intimate scrutinies. They had moved about us, circulating here and there, going from one platform to another. They usually did this, it seemed, in a precise pattern, beginning at one point or another, thus making certain that the contents of every platform came within their purview, that they did not miss even one of the displayed wares. We, of course, perforce, must respond to their instructions. We found ourselves often standing, or sitting or kneeling, or moving or assuming attitudes, or pursing our lips, and so on, according to their commands. In these times we were often handled quite objectively, the firmness of our breasts and thighs being tested, and so on. But then animals are often handled on such a basis, slapped on the flanks, and such. Sometimes they would even put us bodily in desired attitudes. They wanted to form some ideas, it seemed, as to our condition and soundness, and what it might be for them, or their clients, to own us. We were even, occasionally, touched intimately. Under such attentions I could not help squirming. This seemed to amuse them. I gathered from some of their remarks, somewhat indelicate remarks, scarcely fit for the ears of an Earth woman, or one who had once been from Earth, that under true male attentions I might prove to be utterly helpless. I found this dubious. I assumed that it was false. I would learn later that it was not. Still I was so distraught, so much numbed, so much in shock, so despondent, so much in despair, so miserable over my rejection by Teibar, that I was not even remotely as responsive as I would normally have been. and this had to do not simply with feelings. Sometimes I was hardly aware of, or caring of, what was being done to me. Sometimes I knelt, and moved, and posed, almost without understanding or thinking about what was being done to me. To these men, I am sure, I must have appeared, though perhaps beautiful, inert. They were now gone. The exposition area was now closed to the public. It was in the early evening. I supposed that we would be watered again, later, that we might again appear fresh, our skin with excellent tone, glistening and smooth, our bellies sweetly rounded. After a large breakfast this morning, we had been fed very lightly, however, only a handful of dry gruel put in our mouths after the closing of the exposition area. To be sure, I supposed it was enough for us. We need far less food than men. It is cheaper to feed us than male slaves. There were other reasons, of course, why we had been fed so lightly today. Tonight they did not want us to be lethargic or sluggish. Too, they did not wish, particularly in the case of new girls, their stomachs turning and wrenching in misery, and terror, to risk disgusting accidents.

"Position!" we heard.

Immediately every girl on every platform assumed position. I looked about, as I could. Every girl that I saw had assumed, as I had, the open-kneed position. It was required of them. I gathered, as it was required of me. They were all attractive. I wondered what sort of slaves we were, that we must kneel in this fashion.

In a few moments we were lined up, according to our separate lots. I at the end of mine, facing not the large, closed double doors which led to the area outside, those doors through which the customers had entered, but the other large, closed double doors, those which, apparently led somewhere else. Gloria was in front of me, as usual. Her hands were manacled behind her back. My hands, too, were identically secured. On her neck, as on mine, was a buckled, two-ringed, leather collar. It was the sort of collar which may be easily put on, and removed from a girl. The girl, of course, if manacled as we were, is helpless in it. The rings are located at 180 degrees from one another. This permits girls to be fastened, the collar oriented appropriately, either side by side, in ranks, or behind one another, in files. A leather strap, with snaps at both ends, joins the rings, usually the ring at the back of one collar to the ring at the front of another. Gloria, being ahead of me, was thus leashed to the ring at the back of the girl’s collar ahead of her, and I was leashed to the ring at the back of Gloria’s collar. As I was at the end of the line, the ring at the back of my collar hung free, against the leather, not utilized.

The double doors before us, were opened.

I could see a long corridor, dimly lit with lamps. It was, like the exposition area, floored with dirt. That made sense, as doubtless tarsks, those of the four-footed variety, those bristly, squat, grunting animals, as opposed to the two-footed variety, those soft, smooth, shapely animals, were often conducted through it.

I looked down the long, dark, dirt-floored corridor.

Our group, it seemed, would be neither the first, nor, given our position, the last to enter that corridor.

I looked down at the writing on my left breast. It was, I had been told, an "89," my lot number.

We had been fed very lightly today.

There was a reason for that. Tonight we were going on the block.

New Years Resolutions 2007

2007-01-04T21:53:00.002Z

I should really have posted this a few days ago. While I could claim that I wanted to spend a bit longer thinking over what my resolutions for this year were going to be, the truth is I've known for days and have just been too bone idle to type them up. I have also been busy watching the DVD boxset that I bought of Season 1 of The Muppet Show. I finished watching the last of the 24 episodes on the sets 4 discs earlier today. Money very well spent I think. I've laughed more in these past couple days than I did in the whole of last year.

Anyway, moving on... here are my resolutions for 2007:

Reduce my debts. I'm going to take another crack at this, as this was a resolution last year as well and I failed spectacularly in regards to it. Still, I have a pretty good idea how to go about clearing a sizeable chunk of what I owe and as I have next week off work, I'm going to get started on that.
Take more pride in my appearance. I have been nagged by... well a lot of people actually, including my Mum and my boss at work about this. Not really sure how to go about this, or how it will benefit me as I'm quite happy the way I am, but I'll give it a try. I could ceetainly do with being nagged less.
Reduce the amount of possessions I own. I STILL have boxes of comic books, old toys and more under my bed and I want them gone. As I also have a need for money (see resolution 1 above), then selling them off on ebay seems to be the best way to go about this.
Try and get proofreading work. I passed the course in Copy Editing and Proofreading last year and as yet have done nothing with that qualification. 2007 is the year I try and get work in the publishing industry as a freelance proofreader.
Write my blog more often. This last addition is motivated by the stack of 5 novels sat on my desk awaiting their reviews to be typed up. Also of late I have gone to write posts many times and stopped short of doing so, for fear of offending someone. This is despite the disclaimer at the top of the main page which states clearly "if you don't like what I write, don't read any more of it". I will try not to censor myself as often as I have been doing.

So there we are, 5 resolutions to try and stick too for the coming year. Assuming I manage to do so and to succeed, then my life should improve considerably by this time next year. Wish me luck!

Or Maybe I Won't...

2006-12-27T14:56:00.002Z

...Need the energy today that is. The reason being that at some very early hour this morning (somewhere between 4 and 5 am I believe) I got a text message from my mate Dan Shapter telling me not to come into work at 6am after all, and that I'd get a phone call later today from boss (I'm presuming he means Lyndsey by this) to explain what is happening. Fair enough I figured and went back to bed.

A bit later on after waking up, Gareth came back in from whereever he had popped out too and mentioned something about there having been a fire at a petrol station. So I went onto the BBC News website and had a look at the stories for the South West of England and lo and behold, there was a fire last night at the Rover garage (not actually a petrol station, but very close to Morrisons one as it happens) and that as a result of a fear of gas tanks exploding, a good chunk of Station Road had been cordoned off and houses evacuated.

I would imagine that a stretch of Priory Bridge Road is likewise cordoned off, thus preventing road access to the store. Without customers being able to drive to the store and park, opening the store makes no sense as it would get very little business. So I get another day off work today and I'm writing this now at roughly the time I would be finishing my shift had I worked. I've yet to get any phonecall though.

The main thought that preoccupies me now is that several of my friends live in very close proximity to where the fire was, namely Richard & Derek Adams, my brother Rhys, Mads Bak, Sean Chard & his fiance Steph and also Matt & Jen. I'm very glad no-one has been injured as a result of the fire.

Back At Home

2006-12-26T23:03:00.001Z

So after a gruelling 8am-5pm shift on Xmas Eve which was a lot busier than I thought it would be (certainly with regard to the huge Flans we make in the store which myself and Lyndsey made 8 of in quick succession!), I packed up a few clothes, most of the presents I've bought (excepting Richard & Derek's gifts and they will get theirs on New Year's Day) and wrapped up warm, before trooping across town to my parents house. I spent the night there on Sunday and again last night. Sunday night I was tired and slept like the dead, last night... ehhh not so much. It took forever to get to sleep and at best I got maybe 3 hours of kip before the alarm clock woke me up. And it wasn't quality sleep either.

I've had a good Xmas all in all. I've eaten and drunk plenty, but done neither to excess. I've not gotten drunk despite drinking most of my parents bottle of Cointreau which I mixed with the remaining litre bottle of Kinnie that I brought back from Malta. Yes, I've had a bottle of soft drink sat in my wardrobe since early August just so I could enjoy it as my drink on Xmas Day. I'm home now though, having gotten a lift from my Mum a few hours ago. So what did I get all in all? Here's my Xmas Gift List:

New Spectacles: This tends to be my Xmas present from my parents every other year, but this is the first new pair I've had in 3 years now. Thanks to Specsavers 2 for 1 deal, I also have a new pair of prescription sunglasses too with dark blue tinted lenses.
A 70cl bottle of Jim Beam Black Label Bourbon, which is 43% proof. This will go very nicely with cola and ice, just as soon as I've bought and chilled some cola! Totally did not expect this present!
A 1 litre bottle of Blue Label Smirnoff Vodka, which is 50% proof. This present I knew about, as I generally get a bottle of this every year. It is now sat in my freezer (the drink doesn't freeze) and I will open it on my birthday in 3 weeks time. It'll be ready to drink by then.
Underpants, socks, a denim shirt and a pair of jeans were my clothes this year. The shirt was a total surprise!
The book "It's Not Easy Being Green" by Dick Strawbridge, which accompanies the BBC2 series of the same name, about a family that decided to try and live as ecologically friendly and self-sufficient a lifestyle as they could without giving up their 21st century mod cons. Fascinating reading. I have my Grandparents to thank for this gift.
Superman Returns DVD (2 disc edition) from my brother Rhys. I love this film, and watched it this morning as once I'd woken up I couldn't get back to sleep (damn single bed). Thanks Bro!
Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest DVD off my Nan. Great film, and she already got me the DVD of the first film a couple years ago. Thank you Nan!
A jar of coffee, a tub of hot chocolate powder and a handful of instant hot choc sachets in toffee, white choc, belgian choc and choca mocha flavours.
A bag of peanut M&M's which got devoured last night whilst I was watching a 2 hour documentary on Channel 4 about the blood family of Jesus (namely his 4 brothers and 2 sisters) that the founders of the Christian religion did their best to write out of the Bible.
A 6 pack of a Brazilian beer that I've never heard of before off Mads. No idea what it tastes like, but the other Brazilian beer I've tried (Brahma) is great stuff. They are in the fridge now chilling down.

And that's it (I think). All in all a pretty good haul. Some nice surprises in there, and the items I knew about are all things I wanted/needed. I am back in work tomorrow at 6am to re-open the department, only to have to close it all down again on Sunday for New Years Day when the store is shut again. Still I have Thursday off to look forward too. Here's hoping I sleep well tonight, as I'm going to need the energy tomorrow!

A Different Christmas Poem

2006-12-24T17:38:00.000Z

I thought I'd post a poem as it's a been a while since I have. Last Xmas Eve I posted a couple of them, both the traditional "Twas the night before Christmas" and and alternative version! I found this poem on a messageboard I frequent. I'm not sure if the person who posted it there is the author or not, but I don't think it matters. The poem is clearly written by an American and is a bit patriotic, but I think the message is one that crosses national borders. Hope you like it, I know I do!

A Different Christmas Poem

The embers glowed softly, and in their dim light,
I gazed round the room and I cherished the sight.
My wife was asleep, her head on my chest,
My daughter beside me, angelic in rest.

Outside the snow fell, a blanket of white,
transforming the yard to a winter delight.
The sparkling lights in the tree I believe,
completed the magic that was Christmas Eve.

My eyelids were heavy, my breathing was deep,
Secure and surrounded by love I would sleep.
In perfect contentment, or so it would seem,
So I slumbered, perhaps I started to dream.

The sound wasn’t loud, and it wasn’t too near,
But I opened my eyes when it tickled my ear.
Perhaps just a cough, I didn’t quite know,
Then the sure sound of footsteps outside in the snow.

My soul gave a tremble, I struggled to hear,
And I crept to the door just to see who was near.
Standing out in the cold and the dark of the night,
a lone figure stood, his face weary and tight.

A soldier, I puzzled, some twenty years old,
Perhaps a Marine, huddled here in the cold.
Alone in the dark, he looked up and smiled,
standing watch over me, and my wife and my child.

“What are you doing?” I asked without fear,
“Come in this moment, it’s freezing out here!
Put down your pack, brush the snow from your sleeve,
You should be at home on a cold Christmas Eve!”

For barely a moment I saw his eyes shift,
Away from the cold and the snow blown in drifts..
To the window that danced with a warm fire’s light.
Then he sighed and he said “It’s really all right,
I’m out here by choice. I’m here every night.”

“It’s my duty to stand at the front of the line,
That separates you from the darkest of times.
No one had to ask or beg or implore me,
I’m proud to stand here like my fathers before me.

My Gramps died at ‘Pearl on a day in December,”
Then he sighed, “That’s a Christmas ‘Gram always remembers.”
My dad stood his watch in the jungles of ‘Nam’,
And now it is my turn and so, here I am.
I’ve not seen my own son in more than a while,
But my wife sends me pictures, he’s sure got her smile.

Then he bent and he carefully pulled from his bag,
The red, white, and blue… an American flag.

“I can live through the cold and the being alone,
Away from my family, my house and my home.
I can stand at my post through the rain and the sleet,
I can sleep in a foxhole with little to eat.
I can carry the weight of killing another,
Or lay down my life with my sister and brother..
Who stand at the front against any and all,
To ensure for all time that this flag will not fall.”

“So go back inside,” he said, “harbor no fright,
Your family is waiting and I’ll be all right.”
“But isn’t there something I can do, at the least,
Give you money,” I asked, “or prepare you a feast?”
It seems all too little for all that you’ve done,
For being away from your wife and your son.”

Then his eye welled a tear that held no regret,
“Just tell us you love us, and never forget.
To fight for our rights back at home while we’re gone,
To stand your own watch, no matter how long.
For when we come home, either standing or dead,
To know you remember we fought and we bled.
Is payment enough, and with that we will trust,
That we mattered to you as you mattered to us.”

Upgraded

2006-12-16T23:06:00.001Z

About an hour ago I finally got around to upgrading this blog to the new version of the Blogger software. For the most part this change is behind the scenes as it were, in that the blog itself looks pretty much the same as it did before. What has changed though is at the bottom of many of the posts you will now find a Labels link. I have spent the past hour going through the list of my posts and flagging them with various tags to group them. Thus all the Song Lyric posts have the lyrics tag, all the Quotes From Three Movies posts have the movie quotes tag, all the Book Reviews... well you get the idea I'm sure.

This makes it easier for me to organise the site and keep track of what movies, books etc I've covered already, and it makes it possible for those who want to do so, to view all the posts of a similar topic by clicking the link. The list of labels as of now is:

I'll likely add more as I think of them, but those should serve to make the site a bit easier to get around for now. If you find a post that should have a particular tag and doesn't do let me know. I'm sure I've gotten them all, but I'm only human afterall.

This Advert Needs No Blurb

2006-12-13T21:54:00.001Z

See what I mean?

With Or Without You

2006-12-11T14:55:00.000Z

I love this song. I have no great memories of it to relate however, as I've only recently added this song to my collection of mp3 tracks. The bass in this song is just awesome though, my speakers hum & throb from the power of the music.

With Or Without You by U2

See the stone set in your eyes
See the thorn twist in your side
I wait for you

Sleight of hand and twist of fate
On a bed of nails she makes me wait
And I wait without you

With or without you
With or without you

Through the storm we reach the shore
You give it all but I want more
And Im waiting for you

With or without you
With or without you
I cant live
With or without you

And you give yourself away
And you give yourself away
And you give
And you give
And you give yourself away

My hands are tied
My body bruised, shes got me with
Nothing to win and
Nothing left to lose

And you give yourself away
And you give yourself away
And you give
And you give
And you give yourself away

With or without you
With or without you
I cant live
With or without you

With or without you
With or without you
I cant live
With or without you
With or without you

How Will You Die?

2006-12-05T07:25:00.001Z

So I woke up early this morning and I found an interesting thread on one of the message boards I like to peruse, read and occasionally comment on. Namely a thread concerning a website that claims to be able to predict how you will die and at what age.

That website can be found here. Give it a go, it's fun (in a slightly morbid kind of way). For what it's worth, here is how the site predicted I will meet my final end:

Robert E. Langford: At age 72 you will be struck by lightning while trying to move the antenna beside your mobile home in order to pick up late night adult movies.

Hmmm, not the best death I suppose but could have been worse... Tony will apparently die at age 66 by being hit by a train whilst napping on the railway tracks!

Quotes From Three Movies Strikes Back!

2006-12-02T00:27:00.000Z

Another in an occasional series of memorable (or just what I think are cool) quotes from three different movies.

Casino Royale (2006)

Vesper Lynd: How was your lamb?
James Bond: Skewered. One sympathizes.

Vesper Lynd: Am I going to have a problem with you, Bond?
James Bond: No, don't worry. You're not my type.
Vesper Lynd: Smart?
James Bond: Single

Steven Obanno: Do you believe in God, Mr. Le Chiffre?
Le Chiffre: No, I believe in a reasonable rate of return.

Bartender: Shaken or stirred?
James Bond: Does it look like I give a damn?

Dryden: Your file shows no kills, but to be a double O it takes
James Bond: Two
Dryden: How did he die?
James Bond: Your contact? Not well.
(cut to flashback of Bond beating seven shades of shit out of a guy in a bathroom)
Dryden: I wouldn't worry they say the second is
(Bond shoots him through the head)
James Bond: Yes. Considerably.

M: This may be too much for a blunt instrument to understand. Any thug can kill. I need you to take your ego out of the equation.
James Bond: So you want me to be half-monk, half-hitman.
M: I knew it was too early to promote you.
James Bond: Well, I understand double-ohs have a very short life expectancy. So your mistake will be short-lived.

Vesper Lynd: It doesn't bother you; killing all those people?
James Bond: Well I wouldn't be very good at my job if it did.

Vesper Lynd: I'm the money.
James Bond: Every penny of it.

M: Christ, I miss the Cold War.

James Bond: Vesper? I do hope you gave your parents hell for that.

Kingdom of Heaven (2005)

Balian of Ibelin: What is Jerusalem worth?
Saladin: Nothing.
[Saladin walks away, then turns and clenches his fists to his chest]
Saladin: Everything!

Godfrey of Ibelin: I once fought two days with an arrow through my testicle.

Balian of Ibelin: A queen never walks. Yet you are walking

Saracen Messenger: The Sultan asks for his sister's body, the heads of those responsible and the surrender of Jerusalem.
Guy de Lusignan: Does he?
Saracen Messenger: What is you reply?
Guy de Lusignan: This.
[Decapitates the messenger]

Nasir: Your qualities will be known among your enemies long before you meet them my friend.

Saladin: Will you yield the city?
Balian of Ibelin: Before I lose it, I will burn it to the ground. Your holy places - ours. Every last thing in Jerusalem that drives men mad.
Saladin: I wonder if it would not be better if you did.

Saladin: Who defends?
Nasir: Balian of Ibelin. The son of Godfrey.
Saladin: Godfrey? Godfrey nearly killed me in the Lebanon. Truly, I did not know he had a son.
Nasir: It was his son at Kerak.
Saladin: The one you let live?
Nasir: Yes.
Saladin: Perhaps you should not have.
Nasir: Perhaps I should have had a different teacher.

Tiberias: [to Balian] May God be with you, he's no longer with me.

Guy de Lusignan: Give me a war.
Reynald: That is what I do.

King Baldwin IV: I felt in that moment that I would live to be a hundred. Now I know I shall not see thirty.

Balian of Ibelin: Be without fear in the face of your enemies. Safeguard the helpless. Never lie, even if it leads to your death; that is your oath.
[slap]
Balian of Ibelin: And that is so you don't forget it. Rise a knight... rise a knight!

Sybilla: There will be a day when you will wish you had done a little evil to do a greater good.

Bram Stoker's Dracula (1992)

Dracula: You will, I trust, excuse me if I... do not join you... but I have already dined, and I never drink... wine.

Dracula: I am the monster that breathing men would kill. I am Dracula.

Professor Abraham Van Helsing: She lives beyond the grace of God, a wanderer in the outer darkness. She is "vampyr", "nosferatu". These creatures do not die like the bee after the first sting, but instead grow strong and become immortal once infected by another nosferatu. So, my friends we fight not one beast but legions that go on age after age after age, feeding on the blood of the living.

Renfield: I'm no lunatic man. I'm a sane man fighting for his soul.

Dracula: [about the wolves that are howling] Listen to them: the children of the night. What sweet music they make.

Professor Abraham Van Helsing: Mr. Morris, your bullets will not harm him. He must be beheaded. I suggest that you use your big Bowie knife.
Quincey P. Morris: Well, I wasn't plan on getting that close, Doc.

Dracula: I condemn you to living death. To eternal hunger for living blood.

Dracula: I shall rise from my own death, to avenge hers with all the powers of darkness.

Mina Harker: Take me away from all this death!

Dracula: I, who served the Cross. I, who commanded nations, hundreds of years before you were born.
Professor Abraham Van Helsing: Your armies were defeated. You tortured and impaled thousands of people.
Dracula: I was betrayed. Look at what your God has done to me!

Opposites Attract

2006-12-01T08:56:00.000Z

Heh time for another song with silly lyrics I think. I say silly, because from personal experience opposites most defnately do not attract. I also have a hard time believing that any two people as opposite as the pair in this song are, would ever be compatible. Maybe I'm being too cynical, but the couple in this song (in my opinion) would spend their entire time arguing. Course all that anger and passion could make for a tempestous relationship I suppose.

Opposites Attract by Paula Abdul

Baby seems we never ever agree
You like the movies
And I like T.V.
I take thing serious
And you take 'em light
I go to bed early
And I party all night
Our friends are sayin'
We ain't gonna last
Cuz I move slowly
And baby I'm fast
I like it quiet
And I love to shout
But when we get together
It just all works out

I take--2 steps forward
I take--2 steps back
We come together
Cuz opposites attract
And you know--it ain't fiction
Just a natural fact
We come together
Cuz opposites attract

Who'd a thought we could be lovers
She makes the bed
And he steals the covers
She likes it neat
And he makes a mess
I take it easy
Baby I get obsessed
She's got the money
And he's always broke
I don't like cigarettes
And I like to smoke
Things in common
There just ain't a one
But when we get together
We have nothin' but fun

I take--2 steps forward
I take--2 steps back
We come together
Cuz opposites attract
And you know--it ain't fiction
Just a natural fact
We come together
Cuz opposites attract

I take--2 steps forward
I take--2 steps back
We come together
Cuz opposites attract
And you know--it ain't fiction
Just a natural fact
We come together
Cuz opposites attract

Baby ain't it somethin'
How we lasted this long
You and me
Provin' everyone wrong
Don't think we'll ever
Get our differences patched
Don't really matter
Cuz we're perfectly matched

I take--2 steps forward
I take--2 steps back
We come together
Cuz opposites attract
And you know--it ain't fiction
Just a natural fact
We come together
Cuz opposites attract

I take--2 steps forward
I take--2 steps back
We come together
Cuz opposites attract
And you know--it ain't fiction
Just a natural fact
We come together
Cuz opposites attract

Lies Of Light: A Book Review

2006-11-30T14:00:00.000Z

The backlog pile of these reviews is slowly but surely decreasing. Lies of Light by Phillip Athans is a Forgotten Realms novel and the second book in The Watercourse Trilogy, which details one visionary's attempt to build a canal that would link the Sea of Fallen Stars (the landlocked Inner Sea of Faerun) to the Lake of Steam (which then connects into the various outer seas & oceans). The canal would forever alter trade routes, and so for every group/nation that wants to see it built, there's another that doesn't... and many of those who don't are prepared to do anything to stop it being finished.

As with the previous book in the trilogy (Whisper of Waves), each chapter (of which there are many, 68 in all in a book 308 pages in length) is short and is also given a precise date. This is handy in keeping track of the story because the book covers several years worth of events (though nowhere near as many as the first book did).

The book follows Ivar Devorast as he works on his canal, aided by his dwarf stonemason friends Hrothgar & Vrengarl, and then later by the alchemist Surero whose experiments in smokepower, produce amazing results. Unfortunately for Devorast, back in the nearby city-state of Innarlith change is in the air. The Red Wizard Marek Rymut doesn't want the canal built, as he makes a tidy sum of money using magic to shift goods and people from one sea to the other. To that extent he engineers a coup, replacing the Ransar (ruler of the city) who supported & funded the canal project, with one who views it as a huge waste of money and resources.

Undeterred by the sudden lack of funding coming from Innarlith (and not really surprised by it either), Devorast has already secured alternate sources of funding from foreign governments & agencies who are eager to have a shipping route to the outer seas. With the money come men too, and with the explosive power of Surero's smokepowder to boot, if anything the canal is now being built faster than before.

While a power struggle over the canal goes on, Willem's star rises in society whilst he slides into despair, having already been promoted beyond his ability, his sham of a marriage to the beautiful (and haunted) Phyrea (who actually desires Devorast), loses him the woman he truly loves. And all the while the genasi senator Pristoleph rises to power, unnoticed and unchecked.

The book is filled with genuinely interesting characters, even the ones you will despise (and if you're anything like me, then both Willem Korvan and Marek Rymut will be high on that list!) are fascinating to read about. There are many plot threads interweaving, spread over years of time and I am very interested to see how Mr. Athans is going to resolve all of this in the third and final book Scream Of Stone which is out in June 2007.

I'm going to award this book 4/5. It is a good read, but not quite as good as the first part I felt, in large because it is the middle part of the story and so there is no real beginning or ending to the tale, just a lot of plots continuing. There is very little resolution to anything in this book, and the parts where it seem like something is being resolved, really only serve to spur another plot element onwards. One thing is certain though, I really hope that Devorast gets to finish his canal, but I get the feeling that this trilogy isn't going to have a happy ending.

Shadowbred: A Book Review

2006-11-28T10:12:00.000Z

Jumping the queue a bit is a book that I just finished reading in the early hours of this morning. Shadowbred by Paul S. Kemp is a Forgotten Realms novel, and it is the first book of The Twilight War trilogy. The book is a direct sequel to Mr. Kemp's earlier novels Shadow's Witness and the Erevis Cale trilogy (Twilight Falling, Dawn Of Night and Midnight's Mask), and is set about a year after the end of the trilogy in the Year of Lightning Storms (1374DR). As you can see I've read and reviewed all of the authors previous books featuring his main character, so I apologise in advance if any bias rears its head in this review.

The book opens with a chapter showing just what Erevis Cale has been doing since defeating the Sojourner, in the year since those events. In essence he has retired to the country, living a simple life in a cottage with the woman Varra who he rescued from Skullport. Still as the opening chapter shows, old habits die hard, and Cale made a promise to his late friend Jak Fleet to try and be a hero, so at night when his lady sleeps, he has been shadow-walking around the area, battling monsters and villains. Try as he might, Cale cannot deny what he is.

Elsewhere the Shadovar (residents of the sinister city of Shade) are scheming, having spent the couple years since their return to Faerun futiley trying to ressurect their long dead empire. Resigning themselves to defeat on that front, they put into motion plans to gain themselves a new empire... beginning with Sembia, a decadent nation of allied city states, ruled by merchants. and in a land where money and profit rule, corruption is never far behind.

Using lies, hidden agents and murder, the Shadovar easily manipulate Sembia into civil war, a war where they, unseen, will control both forces, allowing them to weaken Sembia to the point where a takeover by their own forces is easy, and perhaps even desired on the part of a war-weary populace. A very clever bit of writing, and not at all dissimilar to the essential plotline of the Sith's manipulations in the Star Wars prequel trilogy.

Drawn into this growing chaos by his old ties to the Uskevren family of Selgaunt, and by the desires of his god Mask, who he has shunned for the past year, Cale immediatly begins to realise that something is terribly wrong in Sembia. To say more than that would be to spoil what is one of the best written books I've read this year... and I've read a LOT of good books this year!

There are some truly awesome sequences to read about in this book, such as a night fight between a hundred armed and dangerous men on horseback and Cale, the first amongst the Chosen of Mask, a priest and assassin. Or the meeting in a dirty alleyway between Cale and his God who is "slumming it". Other characters make a welcome return too, both Magadon Kest who has a very personal struggle to overcome, and though we are kept waiting for him, Mask's number two man, Drasek Riven, Cale's proverbial partner in crime is here too, changed in some ways, but still a bona fide bastard when he needs to be!

The Shadovar are truly nasty villains, evil, scheming, a bit oily at times, but the power these men command is never in doubt in the way they carry themselves, the way they speak. They are epic villains and they behave as such, without ever coming across as being pompous. Unsurprisingly I award this book my highest marks, 5/5 and I'm now eagerly waiting for the second book in the trilogy... bit of a bummer then that it's not out until August 2007!!

The Sea Devil's Eye: A Book Review

2006-11-25T19:11:00.000Z

Right, I am now on holiday for the next week, so no more work making cream cakes for a few days, which means I can (hopefully) crack into the frankly hideous backlog I have of things to type up. Like the reviews of the last five novels I've read, all of which are piled up (neatly) at one side of my desk awaiting my attention. So without further waffle from me, let's make a start.

The Sea Devil's Eye by Mel Odom is a Forgotten Realms novel and the final part of the Threat From The Sea Trilogy, which details a war waged on the coastal realm sof Faerun by an alliance of evil undersea creatures (primarily the sahuagin), led by the villainous & mysterious Iakhovas. The book begins a couple months after the events of the previous book (Under Fallen Stars), and also after the short story One Who Swims With Sekolah (also by Mel Odom) which is included in the anthology Realms of the Deep.

We join the narrative as Pacys the elderly human bard is watching the sea elves fight (and lose) a desperate battle with the sahuagin at the site of the Sharksbane Wall, which has just been shattered (as detailed in the short story I mentioned). There he and Khlinat bear witness to the fury of the long imprisoned sahuagin, now freed from behind the wall to terrorise the Inner Sea for the first time in centuries.

Jherek meanwhile is still trying to recover an item he lost from the pirate Vurgrom, accompanied by the paladin Glawinn, the pirate Azla and the lady mage Sabyna. He is growing as a man, maturing, each of his companions (but primarily Glawinn) helping him to become what he needs to be, as all of them can feel the pull of destiny attached to him. This scares Sabyna, she is already confused over her feelings for him, and can't understand why he seems to keep her at arms length, even while obviously having strong feelings for her.

Elsewhere, the malenti priestess Laaqueel serves Iakhovas, but she is troubled having heard another voice calling to her, and not that of her God. This other voice speaks calmly, gently and shows her the truths that her master would keep from her, that Iakhovas is not what he appears to be.

To say any more than that would be to spoil the plot of what is a really gripping tale. I found myself always eager to find out what happened next. If I have a complaint, it would be the same one I've seen voiced on many other revies of this book, and that is that the finale is rushed. I feel another 40-50 pages would have made for a better book. As it is after 3 books of plots, slow and steady character growth, romance, and much derring-do, the main villain is disposed of in a really short fight. Also the big reveal of what he actually is, was a bit of a let down (especially since the front cover completely gives it away!).

All in all, I'm going to give this book 4/5. I thoroughly enjoyed reading it, and some of the characters I would very much like to read further stories about (particularly Glawinn, who is one of the best written paladins I've come across in any novel).

A Leash

2006-11-21T22:15:00.001Z

I bought a leash today on my way back from the cinema. I'd been meaning to get one for a while, and since my walk home took me past the Pets At Home store and they were open, I decided I might as well get it while I was in that part of town.

So I go in and they have a very nice range of pet leads in leather, cord, that horrid synthetic stuff and of course chain. Me being a Gorean, I go for the chain. 40" in length with a black leather handle and a snap fastening. A steal at £4.99.

I take it to the counter and the girl there rings it up and asks what kind of dog I have.

"Ohh I don't have a dog, it's for my kajira" I reply (even though I don't actually have a kajira as yet).

"Kah gee rah?" and a puzzled look is the reply I get as I'm typing in my pin number.

"Got a bit of paper and a pen?" I ask, and sure enough she produces such. I write down the word KAJIRA in capitals for her, slide it back to her and smile as I say "Look it up on Google. Good night" and taking my card and my newly bought leash, walk out of the store.

Sure wish I could be there to see her face if/when she does take my suggestion!

Words Women Use

2006-11-15T21:05:00.002Z

I saw this on a message board and I just had to repost it here. Enjoy:

FINE
This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

FIVE MINUTES
If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given 5 more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

NOTHING
This is the calm before the storm. This means "something," and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with 'Nothing' usually end in "Fine"

GO AHEAD
This is a dare, not permission. Don't do it.

LOUD SIGH
This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing"

THAT'S OKAY
This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

THANKS
A woman is thanking you. Do not question it or faint. Just say "You're welcome."

WHATEVER
It's a woman's way of saying *!#@ YOU!

Writer's Block

2006-11-12T16:16:00.001Z

AARRGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!

*puff, pant* Right I haven't exactly been writing a lot of late, mainly because my knack for figuring out how to write things seems to have deserted me. I have plenty of stuff to write about (I'm sat here with a small pile of novels in front of me needing reveiwing for starters), I just can't seem to find the motivation to do so of late. It's not that I'm bored of writing either, I love to write. I'm not bored of my blog either, I'm quite proud of my corner of the world wide web. so I don't know what is causing this general malaise of late, but I felt it important to at least put something here to explain the recent lack of posts.

Normal service will (hopefully) be shortly resumed.

Looking Nice Again

2006-11-01T21:34:00.000Z

So up until this evening if you went back through my blog it started looking a bit messy. Pictures missing (including the header picture), links not working or missing and generally the site looked untidy and half finished. Not so anymore, as I discovered Blogspot's neat "Republish Entire Blog" button. This has set every page in the blog now to the most recent standard, so the entire site looks as good as the front page. Now if only I could fix all the typo's that easily...

There And Back Again

2006-10-29T22:07:00.001Z

Today I've spent the past few hours in the city of Cardiff (capital city of Wales) visiting my relatives, something I'd not done in a few years. I went with my parents and my brother as a late addition to their trip (I was only asked yesterday if I had the day free), as Dad & Rhys were going up to watch a Rugby match and Mum was going to spend time first with Nan (her mother) and then after the other two returned from the match, to visit Grandma & Grampy (Dad's parents) for tea.

Since it's been a good couple years at least since I'd seen any of those relatives I eagerly agreed to join the trip, and so left the house at about 9:30am this morning to trek across town to my brothers flat, where we were to be picked up from by the parents at 10am. Sure enough they turned up on time, Mum sat in the back seat with their dog Shannon and so I grabbed the front seat next to Dad. The drive up was unevertful apart from noticing the new arrivals at the side of the motorway.

To explain: For years there was a large model camel at the end of a farmers field facing onto the motorway and it was there so long that it became something of a local landmark (so much so that when the farmer actually removed it to repair it, it made the local news as drivers had known to look out for it for years and could measure their remaining journey time from it!). So that started the trend. Then the district council added a huge piece of art in the shape of a wicker man... which got burned down by vandals, so they rebuilt it, doused it in flameproof stuff and put a moat around it to deter future burnings. So far this tactic has worked. The new arrival (for me at least as I'd not seen it before) was a large Tyrannosaurus Rex that has appeared to overlook the northbound side of the motorway, so that was amusing to see.

Anyway we got to Cardiff in time for lunch at Nan's. Now Mum had mentioned that there would be Clarks pies for lunch. There wasn't. This to me was a great shame, because as nice as the Chicken & Mushroom pies we had were, Clarks pies are on a level far above and beyond that of any other meat pie I've ever eaten. So when me & Mum took the dog for a walk a bit later on, I made sure to nip into the local store to get a couple of them, which are now in the fridge and will be my tea tomorrow night.

I napped on the sofa in Nan's for much of the afternoon, drifting in and out of consciousness. I guess I must have needed the sleep, though I'm not sure I want to know what I sounded like as apparently I scared the dog a few times. I have been told before that I growl in my sleep, so maybe the people who've told me that in the past weren't kidding after all!

Once Dad & Rhys returned it was off to see the Grandparents, where we enjoyed a nice picnic like tea of sandwiches, crisps and Grandma's ever fantastic trifle. Was sad to see that Grandma's arm is badly injured from a fall she took on holiday earlier this year, she holding it like it was a prosthesis and it showing about that level of movement. I really hope the doctors can sort that out for her soon. I wish I'd brought my digicam with me actually, as it has just occured to me that I have no photos of either of my Grandparents or my Nan for that matter.

The trip back was a blast from the past, driving in the dark now that the clocks have changed, it bringing back many memories of similar drives home in my youth, so I was quite quiet on the return trip. Dad was nice enough to swing past my house and drop me off pretty much on my doorstep, saving me a trek back across town. The pies are now in the fridge and I'm slurping a mug of coffee that has gone lukewarm (which doesn't bother me as I love coffee regardless of the temperature of the drink). It has been a good day.

Evil Tony

2006-10-28T22:35:00.001Z

So there was me this evening, curled up on the sofa downstairs in the lounge watching the newest episode of the BBC's new Robin Hood tv series when I feel a tap tap on one shoulder. This being a tactic of Tony when he wants my attention for some reason, I turned my head to look at him and it took every ounce of self control I have not to leap backwards out of my seat when I got a look at him. This is because Tony looked like this:

This is a photo that was taken a few minutes later, and in good lighting conditions, and it is still pretty scary looking. So you can likely imagine my expression when I looked at this rather hideous visage looming over me as I lay on the sofa!

I'm not entirely sure quite why Tony is dressed up as a member of the glam rock band Kiss tonight, but it being Halloween in just a few days and Gareth mentioning the Black Horse pub earlier (notorious for having edgy live bands play there), I'm going to guess he's gone to a gig of some sort. I can only imagine the looks he must have gotten walking through town looking like that!

As for me I spent my money on some suitable rock music to listen too, so I am writing this too the sound of Meatloaf's new album: Bat Out Of Hell III The Monster Is Loose. Certainly a fitting subtitle considering the creature this house has unleashed on Taunton tonight!

Carnival Capers

2006-10-21T21:37:00.001Z

Not that I got up to any capers mind you, I just stood and watched for a while. This evening Taunton had its annual carnival, an event that I'm not a fan of. Perhaps its being dragged down there as a kid by my prents to stand on a roadside and watch the floats and bands go by in the cold that soured me on the experience. that or it being roughly the same thing every year, so once you've seen it once, you're really missing all that much by skipping future perfomances.

Anyway, for whatever reason I've given the carnival a pretty wide berth for the last decade or so, and would have done so again tonight, only whilst talking to my friend Dan Shapter in work today, I came to the realisation that while I've seen it before, plenty of other people haven't. Such as most of the people reading this article. So I resolved to go down and watch it tonight and take my digicam with me to snap a few pics and post them here.

Well I went down and while I missed the first part of the carnival (cos it started at 7pm and I didn't get to the Market House to watch it go past there until about an hour later, because of watching the episode of Robin Hood that was on TV), I did watch the back half of the procession though and I took a load of photos... most of which have turned out crap. I took about 20 photos in all and out of that I have a grand total of two that are any good at all, so here they are:

As you can probably tell they are two halves of the same float. A shame really, as I would have preferred to have a couple different floats to show pics of, but if it has to be one, then I'm glad it was this one as it was big, loud, very bright and it looked stunning. I'll try and do a better Carnival report for next year.

Who's Leaving Who?

2006-10-17T10:40:00.000Z

There is no special meaning for me to this song, in fact until I spotted it on www.allofmp3.com the other day whilst browsing compilations of 80's songs I had completely forgotten about it. Now that I think on it I actually used to own this track on 7" vinyl (and might still do so, as my old singles are presumably still in my parents attic where I packed them many moons ago). So anyway, in recognition of a fun song with a thumping disco beat, here are the lyrics to a song that I forgot, but am glad to have rediscovered.

Who's Leaving Who? by Hazell Dean

Here we are with goodbye in our eyes
Running out of reasons to try.
The leaves of change have fallen down
With both of us wondering why.

We're all alone but still it seems
We're thousands of miles apart.
The sands of time have shifted now
And the end is beginning to start.

And I don't know the answers
'Cause I don't know the questions
I'm just trying 'cause I don't even know -

Who's leaving who? Is it me? (Is it me?)
Is it you?

Do you think we could change if we knew?
Tell me who's leaving who?
Is there anything left we can do?
Can you tell me who's leaving who?

Talk to me.
Is there a chance, of working it out?
Heart to heart?
Can we go beyond our angry eyes
Before everything else falls apart?

And I don't know the answers
'Cause I don't know the questions
I'm just trying 'cause I don't even know -

Who's leaving who? Is it me? (Is it me?)
Is it you? . . .

And I don't know the answers
'Cause I don't know the questions
I'm just trying 'cause I don't even know

Who's leaving who? Is it me? (Is it me?)
Is it you? . . .

Under Fallen Stars: A Book Review

2006-10-17T05:28:00.000Z

Oy I need to be less lazy when it comes to writing up these book reviews, as now I've got a backlog sat on my desk to type up. Under Fallen Stars by Mel Odom is a Forgotten Realms novel and the second book of the Threat From The Sea trilogy. The theme of this trilogy is a devastating war waged by the evil undersea creatures of Faerun (primarily the sahuagin) against the good undersea races and also the surface dwellers who sail on the oceans and live along the coastlines. This book follows on from where Rising Tide left off with the various characters all heading towards the port city of Baldur's Gate.

What follows is a spectacular night assault on the city by pirates, sahuagin and various sea monsters that devastates the cities bustling port and hard presses the cities famous Flaming fist soldiers to prevent more of the city going up in flames. Jherek is in the thick of the fighting, alongside his new friend, a dwarf with a pegleg by the name of Khlinat Ironeater. Also in town, searching for Jherek is the elderly bard Pacys, drawn there by the epic song he is chasing.

While the battle rages above, Iakhovas and Laaqueel slip into the city unnoticed, retreiving an item that has long been hidden in the sewers, he again spending the lives of her people to provide a distraction adding fuel to his priestesses doubts about the nature of her master. The battle is very well written and I enjoyed it immensely. The aftermath finds Khlinat injured and Jherek wandering the streets in search of a priest to tend to his friend. It is there that he again encounters Sabyna, the pretty ships mage he befriended in the first book, and together the pair are captured (along wth her ship, its captain and crew) by Vurgrom, a pirate in the employ of Iakhovas.

As Jherek and Sabyna are sailed away from the city, heading upriver at a considerable speed (thanks to a strange chair that she is strapped into which adds power to the ship. From a D&D DM/players point of view, it was nice to see a Spelljamming Helm in use), so Pacys finds Khlinat, the two striking up a friendship as the bard learns about Jherek from the dwarf, quickly getting over his despair at having missed/lost the lad he had been drawn too, reasoning that if his god had intended for him to meet Jherek then, then he would have and such a meeeting must be ordained for a later date.

Iakhovas meanwhile reveals what he took from beneath Baldur's Gate to a less than impressed Laaqueel, a ship in a bottle. But not just any ship, this is the Tarjana, a mudship capable of sailing through anything, and a floating fortress from which he intends to command the next phase of his war. Taking the bulk of his kingdoms warriors, Iakhovas opens a portal and brings them through it with him, Laaqueel and his ship to the Inner Sea of Faerun, a place that the undersea residents of it call Seros, and which everyone else calls The Sea of Fallen Stars. Here he rallies the sahuagin of that sea to his cause in a rousing finale to the book.

By the end of the book all the major players have made their way to The Sea of Fallen Stars, Sabyna accompanying Jherek when they finally get free of Vurgom's clutches, the pair travelling with a paladin of Lathander (God of the Dawn) by the name of Glawinn (arguably my favourite character in the series) to a port where they join the crew of Black Champion a ship under the command of the half-elf Captain Azla, she a fierce rival of Vurgom's who wants to find out what he is up to. Pacys and Khlinat arrive by another means, much to the astonishment of the Priests of Gond (God of Invention & Smithing) in Baldur's Gate.

This is a brilliantly written book, I loved reading it and I found myself flicking forward a couple pages each time I had to put it down to return to work at the end of a break just to get a glimpse of what was going to happen next. Unsurprisingly this book gets 5/5 from me.

Drama On The Doorstep

2006-10-15T17:34:00.001Z

So I'm sat in my room now, and every now and then I'm peering out the window to my right at the crowd on the pavement outside the house next door. Theres a good dozen people there right now, stood about, talking and gesturing in a variety of tones including a couple policemen. The cause for this happened about half an hour ago when some very drunks men staggered out of the Pen & Quill pub on the other side of my house and headed towards the half-sized coach parked outside the Westgate Inn a little way up the road.

All but two of them had a bottle of drink in hand, one instead carrying a crate of bottles of Bulmer's cider, the other for some bizarre reason carrying a wooden drawer (as if from a cabinet). What happened next was that the guy carrying the drawer wandered over to the front window of the house next door (which used to be a hairdressers salon downstairs but is currently being renovated)... and then put the drawer through the window. Quick as a flash the bloke with him grabbed him and hauled him off towards the coach.

About ten seconds later all hell broke loose when the people who live next door emerged and the shouting began, the drunks quite content to get on their coach and go, but my next-door neighbours were having none of it, immediately calling the Police and their daughter tok down the coaches details and registration plate. Cue a few of the more sober people on the coach getting off and a confrontation.

Looking out now the street has no cleared, presumably with my neighbours and the policemen having gotten payment (or more likely a promise to cover the cost of the repairs) out of the drunks. Good to see a situation that could easily have gotten ugly, resolved without recourse to violence, and for my part nice to have something to write about as it's been a bit of a dull week.

Any Four For Five Pounds

2006-10-07T17:47:00.001Z

The supermarket which I work in has the above deal permanently covering its range of bottled Real Ales. Prior to the store changing from a Safeway to a Morrisons, I think I'd maybe tried a couple varieties of ale. I'm fairly sure I tried a couple brands that tasted pretty yuck during the Rag Week at my University when the bar would get in 15 different barrels of ale. Once each was gone it was gone. You would get a stamp on your Ale Passport for each brand you tried, and if by some chance you were lucky/stubborn enough to try all 15 during the course of the week then you got a prize of some kind. I think I gave up after two, because I didn't have much money and I preferred to spend it on drink that was going to get me drunk and that I liked the taste of. I've likely also had a sip of one of my Dad's pints of one brand or another as a kid, but I can't remember the names of any of those apart from knowing that I've tried Old Speckled Hen at least once.

So getting back to the point, I was pretty unexperienced when it came to ale. And since most British pubs serve ale lukewarm from a barrel, the notion of trying any of it always dies the moment I enter a pub, and I opt for a nice cold pint of lager instead. But Morrisons stock a pretty good range of bottled ales from all over the country. And the shelf edge labels that detail the price of each bottle (invariably £1.59 each) also include some details about the taste of the drink itself, which is helpful in picking which brand/s to try. At 4 bottles for £5, and able to Pick N' Mix, I've slowly been working my way through the selection.

Whereas originally I'd just pick up 4 different brands and try each in turn (after suitably chilling them in the fridge for a few hours), nowadays I've found a few favourite types (most notably Waggle Dance, an ale brewed with 20% honey, so a cross between beer and mead, and very nice it is too). As a result of this I tend to get 1-2 that I haven't tried before and stick with what I know for the rest of the four.

I was planning to buy some alcohol today and 4 bottles of ale is usually a strong contender for my money. But not today. Today I was surprised and delighted to see that the same offer has now been copied to cover the £1.59 priced bottled ciders, including my recent favourite drink Strongbow Sirrus, a mild cider that is drunk poured over ice. I've never been a big cider drinker (it always used to make me sick), but I can drink Sirrus without any problems (even when mixing it with vodka), so I decided to try a couple other brands. Cue me buying 2 bottles of what I know (Sirrus) and 2 of what I don't (Bulmers and Scrumpy Jack).

I shall see how I go with these, and assuming I'm not violently ill as a result of drinking them, then I'll think about trying a couple other varieties in a few weeks. I've drunk the Bulmers already whilst watching TV earlier tonight and that was nice, nothing special though. Think I'll save the rest for tomorrow evening. Right now I'm going to head out to the pub... next door.

A Horse Walks Into A Bar...

2006-10-04T00:35:00.002Z

... and the Barman says "Why the long face?"

Yes I know it's a crap joke but it's the only title I could think of. As longtime readers of this blog will note, I have a fondness for posting weird animal articles, so here's another one, courtesy of the BBC News website. Gotta love a horse that has a fondness for John Smiths bitter (even though I can't stand the stuff myself).

Rising Tide: A Book Review

2006-10-01T17:29:00.000Z

Finished this book over a week ago now (and in fact I have the second book in the Trilogy sat in front of me to review also as I write this), so about time I got this novel review written up. Rising Tide by Mel Odom is a Forgotten Realms novel and the first book of The Threat From the Sea Trilogy. Set a few years before the "present day" of the Realms (the year 1374DR currently), the Trilogy details a devastating war that is waged by the evil undersea races against both the peaceful undersea races and also the surface dwellers who dare to sail on the seas and live along the coastlines bordering those same seas.

The instigator of this great war is a mysterious villain by the name of Iakhovas. He is found in a comatose state in a sunken tomb by the malenti priestess Laaqueel. A malenti is a sahaugin born in the shape of their most hated enemies the sea elves. Most such cursed offspring are killed at birth, but some are kept as spies. Laaqueel is doubly cursed though, as her skin has the pale colouring of a surface dwelling elf, rather than the blue or green of a sea elf. It is because of her unique appearance though that she is able to infiltrate surface realms and learn from their libraries of One Who Swims With Sekolah. Sekolah is the Great Shark, the savage and uncaring god of the sahaugin race. Seeking out this legend, causes her to find Iakhovas and awaken him.

Iakhovas is very powerful, an accomplished sorceror who cloaks his true appearance in illusions at all times, appearing to the sahaugin as an impressive example of their own species. Laaqueel though sees him as a one eyed human, scared with runes etched into his skin. Though she rises to power at his side, and she revels in the strength he can bring her people, she has her doubts about her new master. It is through her eyes that we see the evil forces side of the war.

The other main character is Jherek, the bastard son of a ruthless pirate named Bloody Falkane. Branded with his fathers symbol on an arm, Jherek has spent his life since escaping his fathers ship hiding who he really is, knowing that the reward on members of Falkane's crew would cause pretty much anyone to turn him in should they see the mark. Raised by a fortuneteller who took him in, and the phantom Malorrie who haunted her house, he has lived by building ships and working as a sailor.

Fate really doesn't seem to smile on Jherek, one ill turn following another, but ever since the night when he dived from his fathers ship, whever he has been in danger, a voice has called to him with the words "Live, that you may serve". He doesn't know who it is that calls to him, or how he is meant to serve though. When his brand is discovered by the crew of the ship he is working on, he is forced to leave both the ship and then to the town of Velen where he grew up, the only place he has ever called home. He takes passage on another ship, where he befriends Sabyna, the ships pretty mage, who he always calls Lady, even when she tells him that she is no such thing.

Elsewhere, the great city of Waterdeep comes under devastating attack by thousands of sahaugin warriors and many great creatures of the deep, Iakhovas using the resulting carnage as a diversion to claim an item of power, one of many that he has agents in both the outer and inner seas of Faerun searching for. He is determined that all that once was his will be again, but his willingness to shed her peoples blood for the sake of his personal power adds fuel to Laaqueel's doubts, even as she clings to his rising star, sharing in the power he gathers about himself.

Witnessing the onslaught on Waterdeep is the elderly bard Pacys, a man who has wandered the highways and byways of Faerun for most of his seventy six years of age, reciting songs and tales, but who has yet to compose any great saga to pass to the world. He yearns to record a story that he will always be remembered for. A devout worshipper of Oghma (the God of Knowledge) he has heard tantalising hints of such a epic story/song for years now. When the attack comes, he feels the pull of destiny upon him, knowing that there is a greater story than just the attack, and that what he is seeing is merely one act of a far larger plan.

I thoroughly enjoyed reading this book, it is a little slow in getting started, and Jherek doesn't really seem to do all that much. Still by the books end, all the various plot threads weave towards each other, for a fateful meeting in the next novel. Both Jherek and Laaqueel are very well written characters, both plagued by doubts for different reasons, both outcasts in their way. The battle scenes are engaging, and in Iakhovas we have a truly sinister villain, his motives and indeed his real identity kept secret, and his speech both powerful and condescending (he always refers to Laaqueel as "little malenti").

I'm going to award this book 4/5, as it is a very entertaining read, but it could have been better.

Some New Links

2006-09-24T00:12:00.000Z

I've added a bunch of new links to the sidebar today, as I like to have that section of the site representing the sites I most often visit on the internet.

Candlekeep is the best resource on the net for information regarding the Forgotten Realms D&D world of which I am so fond.

Amazon UK is my favourite place to shop for books and DVD's.

The Sweat Shop is a new store that sells individual D&D Miniature figures. I've recently foudn that these figures add a lot to the experience of running my Friday night games, so it is handy to have a store that sells them at a good price and gets them in the mail quickly. Plus it's a big help being able to buy specific figures rather than having to hope the figure I want is in a specific booster pack.

The Internet Movie Database is a huge resource of information of all kinds about just about any movie (and TV shows too for that matter) I can think of. This is where I get the quotes for the series of "Quotes From Three Movies" posts that I do.

Wizards of the Coast is the company that produces the Dungeons & Dragons roleplaying game (amongst many other things). When it comes to roleplaying books, I rarely buy products from anyone else.

Also I've changed the link to Celluloid Heroes as the writer of that blog moved to a new server. That's all for now, update complete. If you've not visited any of those sites before, I suggest giving them a try.

Castle In The Clouds

Quotes From Three Movies: The Inevitable Sequel!

Happy Birthday To Me

Progress Being Made... Mostly

Pain

Urrggghhhhh

My Only Wish This Year

Painting Update

Scrooge

Time For Some Movie Quotes!

Unemployed

A Goal...

Stocking Up

Sticking My Neck Out

Phew... Done At Last

A Whole New Look

Painting

Tweaking

Hmmm...

An Accurate Horoscope

This Ole House

Thank You For Hearing Me

The Death Of Common Sense

Still Never Been Kissed

A Letter From Mrs. Mugabe

Another Day, Another Scam

The Living Daylights

A Royal Flush?

A Charitable Con Trick

A New Scam

What D&D Character Am I?

State Of The Bob Address

Sorry Lady, But I'm An Atheist!

Blue Eyes

T'was the Internet Night Before Christmas

I Won The Lottery... Again!

A Letter From Kaburi Yusuf

A Letter From Mrs. Judith Lancer

Another Lottery Win

I Won A Hoax Lottery!

A Letter From Ejner Andersen

A Politically Correct Christmas Poem

A Letter From Peter Wong

A Letter From Patrick W. Chan

Seven Deadly Sins

Good Girls Go To Heaven (Bad Girls Go Everywhere)

Arrr Mateys!

It's Action Force..

10 Things I Hate About You

86 Movies

Run With Us

I Belong to Ravenclaw

Which Hogwarts House Would You Be In?

Apparently I'm Jafar... Cool!

Which Disney Villain Are You?

10 Things Women Say

Philosophy and Women

To Morrow

You and I and George

You Know My Name

Bork! Bork! Bork!

All Too True

A Letter From Ramadan Abdu

Ruler Of Mars

Drunken Ramblings

One More Lonely Night

What Men Say (And What We Mean!)

Englishman In New York

Consolidation

More Signs

Signs

Run To You

Happy Birthday To Me

The Harpy

What Kind Of Horror Killer Are You?

The Sales Annex

New Years Resolutions 2007

Or Maybe I Won't...

Back At Home

A Different Christmas Poem